15 December 2006


Eye-roll me right now. Just get it over with, I'll wait.


My mom is superstitious and has passed some of her beliefs over to me.

I just realized today that I had not followed two of her superstitions and strangely, my luck has turned for the worse.

The most obvious superstition that I've not followed is a Christmas tradition. My mom is the only person that I've ever heard this from. It could be she made it up just so she could be festive for longer, I'm not sure.

She never took the Christmas tree down until after the new year. It was bad luck to do it sooner, so she said.

Two years running, I've taken the tree down early. Two years running, we've had struggles. Hmmm.

I think I'm going to wait to take down the tree until the middle of January. Perhaps even leave it up year-round: Groundhog Day, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day...you get the idea. Although I'm pretty sure the Mad Genius wouldn't stand it for too long. I imagine I would come home one day to find the tree thrown in the middle of the yard.

Anyway, I'm off topic. What a shock.

Another superstition is not to turn the calendar page until the first day of the month.
Some people that I've worked with would tear off the page one or two days early and I always cringed. I don't remember the logic of this superstition but I'm sure it's something about rushing time or not honoring time.

(Also, not so much a superstition, but something that bothers me is marking off calendar days. So many people do this. Cross out the day as it passes. What are you counting down to? It just seems a little morbid.)

I've been lax about my calendar this year. I only bought one, and bought it well into January. As I've been home, I have been lazy about flipping the pages when the month changes. Yikes. I haven't been keeping track of time.

Now I've already been given three calendars. I have one on the refrigerator, one on the wall next to my desk and the other is waiting patiently to be posted in January because we've learned not to do it early, haven't we?

Maybe if I follow these two superstitions, I'll be golden again. It's worth a shot.

Okay, you can eye-roll one last time. But, I bet you think about this when you see calendars next time you shop and when you defrock the Christmas tree. You can thank me...or curse me, you choose...later.

14 December 2006


Is it just me? Is it because I'm the youngest child? From a poor family? Unemployed? Spent too many hours in front of the television?

All the giveaways on the talk shows bother me.

Oprah began it with "My Favorite Things" which might as well be titled "Things You'll Never Afford."

Now, it seems, all the talk shows do it.

As a viewer from home, there's just something disheartening about it. All of these people are getting cool things, just for showing up. While I sit in my house, with all of life's worries and woes, and grumble. It sounds selfish now that I say it out loud but it's just annoying.

And the screaming. Oh God, the screaming. SHUT UP already. The audience often acts as if someone has paid their mortgage in full and they've just received oh, a sweater.

Sometimes that audience is given a lame gift...I can't think of an example...oh wait, yes I can. An electronic dictionary! Then, I feel badly for that audience that got chumped. Yesterday, everyone received portable DVD players and then today, a bargain shelf gift. *That* would be the day I would be in the audience.

I'm usually a giver and Christmas is one of my favorite holidays so it's not like I'm mean or selfish. It's just irritating and it seems like people expect it now. And it's not just during the holidays, it's all the time now.

Although, it was cool when Howard Stern gave everyone Sirius Radio on Letterman the other night. (:-D There's always exceptions to the rule, I suppose.

One Stop Shopping

I've been on the road A LOT lately. I've noticed in two separate cities, an interesting combination of storefronts. They've made me blink and look again to make sure I've seen it correctly.

The first one was like Embarrassment Central. A check-cashing store right next to Lover's Package. (an adult store) The picture in my head was quite funny. I'll let you form your own images, thank you.

The second one was worse. A Curves (women's only gym) next to a Dinner's Ready!
store. Oh the irony, the temptation, the cruelty.

I wonder if the developer or realtor signed the leases to these businesses while giggling like a schoolgirl.

Jingle All the Way

Is it just me or are there some fairly fabulous jingles in the holiday commercials this year? Target has a good one, (I think it's Gwen Stefani) so does Old Navy...who thank God above has stopped the campy commercials. My favorite is JCPenney with the rock-ish version of Here Comes Santa Claus.

It's just a nice change. I think the advent of using popular music in sitcoms, dramedys and dramas such as Grey's Anatomy has finally hit a chord with viewers. (Count the assorted puns in that sentence! )

While I'm on the subject of Christmas Music...Can I just say that just because you are a "singer", it doesn't mean you should actually sing Christmas songs? Or re-do the original arrangements. This irritation is directly specifically at most current "artists". I'm pretty sure that these classics don't need a backbeat or runs.

Also, I've noticed singers tossing in Christmas references and calling it a Christmas song. Kind of like the aged rocker in "Love Actually", where they took a former hit of his and made it into an unbearable Christmas song. Just don't.

Just sing it the way it was intended to be, sing the classics or sit down. Of course, there's always exceptions. Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" is a good current song. Bare Naked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" is amazing. But mostly, the Christmas cd's that are issued recently are just painful. AND they all contain the same songs! Mostly mainstream, secular, and boring.

Also, the country singers seem to be do a better job at these songs than most artists, I wonder why? Although I am not including Kenny Chesney's All I Want for Christmas is a Tan. How depressing is that?

My favorite Christmas Album ever? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Gene Autry. It has all the classics, sung the way they're supposed to be. Call me a purist. (:-D

If you are a non-traditional Christmas music human, do try the Bare Naked Ladies Christmas album. Their version of Jingle Bells is priceless. I would describe it as manic-depressive. They include Hannakuh songs, which are kind of cool too.

The local radio station does 24 hour Christmas music from midnight Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. I was up late one year and it seemed like they had raided my parents albums. I heard such obscure classics as "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" and "I Want a Hippapotomus for Christmas." It was awesome! Instant time travel!

So Merry Christmas Everyone! Belt out those carols! Whichever version you prefer, although I would recommend surfing EBay and buying Rudolph's album.

12 December 2006


I have a great email screener. It catches everything and it lets me see a summary of its catch. There are some things that I noticed that just make me laugh.

I did get propositioned by a young Russian girl that would LOVE to meet me and was by the way, has been told that she's very pretty and kisses good. That would be fabulous except for two things: I don't play for that team and I'm not stupid.

One that makes me laugh is the Fifth Third Bank. Who falls for that b.s.?
Who thought of Fifth Third Bank? It sounds like new math.

I also regularly am contacted about Cooking School, which cracks me up because I'm infamous for my Not Cooking Skills. Also, cooking doesn't seem like a great online course. It goes along with a quote from Drew Carey. He talks about taking a veternarian class and getting puppies from the pet store to practice. It's just not a pretty picture.

It can also be a little eerie when they happen to use a name that you recognize but is off just a little. It's just random coincidence but a little disconcerting all the same to see a friends name and then Penis Enlargement in the subject line. I have outrageous friends but I think they'd draw the line somewhere before the word enlargement. At Least I hope so!

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie is a children's book. I think it's actually a book for parents as it so aptly describes many people's lives. In case you're not in touch with your inner three-year-old or in possession of one, the story goes like this:
First the mouse would like a cookie, so a cookie is given.
Then the mouse needs milk to go with the cookie, so milk is given,
Then the mouse needs a napkin, so the napkin is given.
And so on And so on
Until the mouse ends up with a multitude of things going on and finally it resolves back at needing a cookie.

This is how my life goes. Not only is the Mad Genius ADHD Boy, I believe I am slightly ADD myself. I can start off with a plan and an hour later, end up doing something completely different. I could list examples all day long so let's not bother, shall we?
There are two t-shirts that apply to the Mad Genius and sometimes myself: "They say I have ADD but I don't think...Oh! Look! A Chicken..." and "I'm Talking and I can't Shut Up." Ooh, there was a good example right there and I didn't even intend it!

Last month I signed up for NaNoWriMo; which is the National Novel Writing Month. The premise is to write a novellette, 50,000 words during the month of November. Me, being the under-estimator of how long things actually take, excitedly signed up. I'd just finished my actual novel and have another in the works so I thought it might be fun. And it was fun. But unfortunately, my NaNoWriMo has turned into NaNoWriMos.

Circumstances that aren't under my control happened that kept me away from the keyboard. Fun stuff like looking for a job, a parent having open heart surgery, a day without electricity, you know, the fun stuff that life likes to hurl your way. I also counted on using the time that the Mad Genius was in Las Vegas Baby to write but my pouting took more time than I had scheduled. So, here we sit. It's December and I'm not even at the half-way point. Oh and did I mention that my laptop ate about four pages? Yeah. FUN.

But now I'm committed, I'm interested. I can't just let these characters fade away into oblivion. One of the other challenges are/were that I have the world's shortest attention span. I would work on the novellette but it would remind me of something else that I could write about and then I'd find myself on a tangent. This somehow didn't affect my blog, as evidenced by months of neglect. But it did result in adding sections to the previous aforementioned "finished" novel. I'm sure this is the nature of the writing beast. I just have to figure out a way to work with said beast.
But perseverence is one of my qualities! I shall prevail! I have a new goal! I'll finish the damn thing by the end of December. It's only the 12th! I have PLENTY of time.

Now, what was I doing?