22 February 2010

Sober

Also titled "Why I Don't Drink."

As I've shared, I was raised by alcoholics. I never knew my Dad not drinking. My grandparents (on all sides) drank. I've been surrounded by alcohol my entire life. I married a drinker, the first time. It was normal to me.

I understand that I am genetically predisposed to become an alcoholic or addict. I know that it could happen very easily. I've never had an issue but it's always been a quiet whisper in my head.

Beyond all that, nothing kicks the door open wide for Sneaky Little Bastard like alcohol. He loves to get his drink on. It takes me a full 48 hours to shake the after-effects and to push him back out the door.

It's simply not worth it.

Do I miss it? Certainly.

Like it kicks the door open for SNB, alcohol also momentarily quiets him. I can understand why my parents drank because I know what it's like to have him constantly riding on your shoulder. A drink or two can knock him off for a little while.

What I've found is that I miss the social setting more than the actual drinking. The hanging out with friends, the relaxed atmosphere, just having the drink in your hand. Having a soda just doesn't compare. I joke about drinking, but in truth I would never.

So, I don't drink. It's not worth the risk. It's not worth the aftermath. I drank for the first time one year ago after a nearly three year stint and it was one of the dumbest things I have ever done. It's not something I'm proud of, in fact, quite the opposite.

I am sober. Not because I have a problem but because it can be a problem.

3 comments:

Daydream Believer said...

I have a friend who has never been drunk before. His father is an alcoholic, and he doesn't even want to start for fear of becoming an alcoholic, too. I applaud you for being strong enough (and smart enough) to realize it's best just to stay away! I wish more people would feel this way.

Not Your Aunt B said...

You gotta know yourself. J's dad is the same way. He was raised by alcoholics and saw what it did to them so he doesn't drink. Stay strong!

creative kerfuffle said...

i could quite easily be an alcoholic if it weren't for the hubs. my dad is an alcoholic and so is my aunt. i think i come from a long line of addictiver personalities. my aunt has been going to aa for 20+ yrs and is sober. my dad doesn't think he has a problem. my drinking issue is not that i would drink every day, but when i drink i don't know when to stop. my brother has this same problem. in college it just seemed the norm. about 7-8 yrs ago when i started traveling for work, drinking reared its ugly head. the hubs put his foot down. several times. we fought a lot about it. i finally quit getting drunk when i went on trips and now only imbibe at christmas parties or rare occassions.