20 June 2017

But She's An Angel

I remember reading the advice to never let your hairdresser cut your hair while they are upset. Or was it in Steel Magnolias?  Doesn't matter, I'm here to tell you that it's true.

Now, it's not a complete disaster but it's not great.  Also, it has to be said that my hair has had some changes with aging so I may have to reconsider my hairstyle, or lack thereof but more on that in a little bit.

I've been known to cut my own bangs because I'm impulsive and impatient.  Most times, she can fix it.  She admonishes me in broken English not to do it every time.  In fact, there was one time that she fussed and combed and trimmed before finally stepping back.  Frowning, she finally said "No, no, no. I can't do anything with that." with a dismissive wave of her scissors. 

Right now, a week-ish later, I very nearly have Moe bangs.  I hadn't trimmed them myself before getting them cut so this one time it's not my fault.  I can place nearly two fingers between my brows and the bangs.  When Kevin says it's too short, it's too short.  

I have baby fine hair and because gawd has a sense of humor, two cowlicks on what would be the corners of my forehead.  So I always curl my bangs under to avoid any resemblance to Farrah Fawcett or, worse, having them plaster to my head in a very unbecoming way. (think: Cable Guy)  I am the person who has the same haircut all the time because there are limited styling choices, beyond reverting back to the 90's spiral perms.

When I try to tame these too short bangs, they can literally stick at a ninety-degree angle from my head.  Super.
I've used more hairspray than necessary, environment be damned, and have employed a little ego-checking until they grow out.

Fun fact also about me is that my short attention span makes me not think about it again after I leave the house until I catch a glimpse of myself. Depending on the time of day, it's anyone's guess which direction they will be pointing.  (think: There's Something About Mary)

And, isn't this the perfect time to be doing job interviews? 

Here's why I am not absolutely IRATE about this issue.  a) it's hair, it will grow.  2) the woman who cuts my hair is an angel on this earth.  She would be shattered if she knew I was upset.  Shattered.

She is Vietnamese and has been in the States about 28 years. She tries really had to be "American" and loves her adopted country.   Twice a year, she collects money, blankets and coats then takes them to Vietnam for the homeless, disabled and Leper Colonies. (yep, those are still a thing)   She pays the shipping and related costs, pays for the trip out of pocket, and spends two weeks each trip helping these folks.  She doesn't just drop the donations off, she spends time there.  She hugs them, feeds them, cuts their hair. 

She cuts hair at my old job for the women in crisis, for free.  She volunteers at two churches.  These are just the things we know that she does.  I'm certain there are more ways she gives.  She is an angel and I don't throw that word around.

She doesn't have children and her family is still in Vietnam.  I believe her marriage was an arranged one and not a love match.  She only has her husband and his family.  His family doesn't treat her as an equal and are always looking for an angle. 

Because she is  the way she is, the family has taken advantage of her.  It came to light, apparently shortly before my haircut, that they had withheld her husband's portion of an inheritance and had dismissed hers and his feelings of doubt and anger.  She was frustrated with her husband because he tends to obey the old Vietnamese traditions when it comes to family structure.  She was angry at his family for being so disrespectful of the parent's wishes, while claiming to "do what's right for the family."

It wasn't about the money at all, not in the least.  For whatever reason, it was the catalyst for her to lose her patience, not only with her in-laws but also with her husband.  She feels less-than and is tired of it.  Also, it seems she may have glimpsed her future with no support from anyone and that scared her.  Having had that thought, as half of a childless couple myself, I totally get it.

So, a few weeks of growing out awkward bangs will be worth not adding to her burdens in the moment. 

But if it happens again, I'm cutting her bangs the exact same way and she has beautiful hair, people will notice. 

1 comment:

Swistle said...

I love the increasingly soaring music of this post, the sacrifice and the perspective---and then the last line. Ha ha ha!