28 June 2017

Seven Mondays

Last week I accepted a job at HeadStart.  It's a lateral move from the job I just left but with significantly better benefits and stability. It's in another city, which is giving me anxiety in such a stupid way.  I'll  talk about that another time.

So, I'm still working at the temp job and am still not enjoying it.  I mean, it sounds fun sitting for four hours with nothing to do, right up until you do it.  I've been there over a month and I'm still not fully trained, still don't have a permanent workspace, and still can't care about the business.  Private sector is not for me.  We knew this but we just had to  try one more time. *squint*

All that being said, I'm having guilt about continuing to work there while I've accepted a new job.  It's complicated so let's step back.

The job I'm working now is a temp-to-hire job that becomes permanent after 90 days, August 15th.
The job I just accepted works off the school year so it doesn't begin until August 7.
My unemployment claim is valid until September something.
I can't quit the job I don't care about because unemployment won't cover it and I don't enjoy being poor.

My solution thus far is to lie my face off and perform an Academy Award performance of pretending to be interested in this job for the next month.

The new job doesn't start for like 52 days.  That is way too big of a number for my brain to cope with.  It sends me down a spiral of "I Can't WANT To Wait That Long!"  So I broke it down into weeks.  As of the time of accepting the new job, it was seven Mondays.  That is much easier for my weird brain to accept.

Now because it's a week later, it's only six Mondays left.  Also, I just discovered that next weekend is a long weekend due to the holiday so after that it will be only four Mondays. (keeping up? I have very creative math skills)  See? It feels better in tiny bite-sized chunks.

The plan is to give two-weeks notice in mid-July and take a long weekend prior to beginning the new job so that lessens the days also.  This is assuming that they don't tell me to get out after giving notice.  (Which begs, is that a quit or is that a fired? See? this is complicated!)  They've hired another girl to work full-time (for reasons that escape me, other than being full-time) and she is starting the week I am giving notice. 

There is so much guilt at this duplicity because I do enjoy the guys who I work with.  They really are a great group of guys and I've enjoyed working in Boy World.  But it's a job that an entry-level person can do with unfulfilled promises of being busy. It's an industry that dances on my bleeding heart liberal heart.  (military contracted)   I can go on for an hour with a list of reasons why it's not a good job for me so let's just move on.  But the guys are so nice...

I'm usually honest to the point of damage to my life sometimes so to keep this a secret is messing with me.  I just try not to think about it while I'm there.

Then, this happened:   As I left yesterday, I said goodbye to the guys.  The one that I work with the most said "Write when you get work!"  which stopped me cold.  My dad said that all the time and he is the only one I've heard say it.  I don't mind saying, it put a little shiver down my spine.  My dad has been gone for eight years. 

AND, how awkward is THAT!?!?!! 

Six more Mondays...

1 comment:

Swistle said...

I'm glad you got the other job! I can see how the next weeks will be A Bit Awkward.