What's that Banging Noise?

The boys went on a road trip last weekend.  It was one of those once in a lifetime events that Kevin couldn't say no to.  It was a no girls allowed kind of thing and this time I was fine with it.  I've been sick and it required traveling with his brother so NOPE.

And, as I've mentioned before, we are at the point of our lives where someone needs to be home with the parents. The sister-in-law was home too so at least the burden was shared.

They were leaving super early on Thursday and returning late Sunday.  Kevin had just gotten out of the shower at 4:30 in the morning when his dad called.  He was taking his mom to the hospital but not yet.  He just wanted to let Kevin know.  Her blood pressure had spiked but she was sleeping now.

Okay, let's break this down.

Why are we taking her blood pressure at 4:00 in the morning?
Why are we letting her sleep?
The rule is Call the dogdamned ambulance, don't drive.
If you're not going to do anything, why call us?  Especially since they knew the guys were leaving AND insisted they still go.

After some soothing, Kevin left for his trip. He said he'd check in and I'd keep an ear out.

I called before leaving for work at 7:30.  He's, like, surprised I called? Sigh.  She was still sleeping (???)

I went to work and kind of forgot about everything.  This is where we are at life now, this is our normal.

Before I left work, I called again.  No answer.  I didn't call my mother-in-law because that's pointless.  I figured that someone would have called if something had happened and went home. I love surprises.  (sarcasm font)

And they were fine.  No big deal. Not to worry.

So, that's Thursday.  I was home most of the day on Friday, with the exception of a few hours in the morning.  I was home most of the day on Saturday, with the exception of less than two hours in the morning.  I was home all day on Sunday.  And I had my phone with me AND I live 50 feet away.

There was an earthquake early Friday morning so I was awake-ish from about 3:00 forward. (it's fine, Swistle. Little one, no big deal. It was like god hit the side of the house with his open hand)  I was up later than usual on all the nights because I'm a night owl.

This all established how much I was home.  I didn't hover, but kept an eye on comings and goings and such. I'm assuming the sister-in-law did as well.  And now as I remember it, she took the m-i-l shopping on Saturday.

Kevin gets home Sunday early evening.  Checks in with his parents and returns with his hair on fire.  "Did you know the ambulance came?"

Ummm....WHAT?

No, I didn't.

She's dehydrated again and that is most likely why her blood pressure spiked.  She has UTI #3456 and this is just what happens now.  Reportedly the cardiologist had told them to manage the high rate with a wait and see approach. (Turns out: super not true.)  Then they said that they have an appointment with the cardiologist at the end of the week.

They also said that the ambulance people "helped her" then left, stating that there was no need to take her.

What's that banging noise?  Oh, it's our collective heads against whatever available hard surface.

We're at the place where they really need help. They need daily in-home care. Frankly, we're teetering at the hospice level at this point.  But they refuse. No meals-on-wheels, no niece cleaning their house, no outsiders. No help from us. THEY'VE GOT THIS.  And they really don't.  Yet they fail so often.  It's reached the level that Kevin has to force himself to go over there now because there's always something wrong and they're always refusing help.  (this is common, folks. It sucks for anyone with elderly parents)

I asked Kevin if he knew when the ambulance came and he said no. They were vague about it. Because this is something we lie about now.  ALSO, he checked in with them each day so they didn't tell him until he came home.  So much for anyone staying home in case they need something.

The sister-in-law reports that she thought it was Thursday night that the ambulance was here and that "They could take her or they could go into the E.R. on their own" AND THEY DIDN'T GO. Because they have an appointment coming up anyway.

And I have no idea how I didn't hear the ambulance, or be awakened by the flashing lights. Let alone the whole DIDN'T CALL thing.  It's crazy-making, for sure.

The reason I share this and the other stories is so that if you're helping raise elderly parents, it hopefully provides some sort of empathy and camaraderie.  Because it is so unbelievably frustrating and sometimes so ridiculous that it becomes comical.  And if you're not, but see it in your future, please bookmark these posts for future therapy.