02 May 2017

Find the Right Potion

I believe that if you're going to be sad/miserable/depressed, you may as well get other miserable things done at the same time.  So, I've scheduled my physical, which is always super fun, amiright? 

The biggest unfun thing I did was stop taking the nerve blocker that I used for my leg.   It's been five years since the original injury and two years since I've had the bionics removed.   I was told  that I would probably be on this medicine for the rest of my life, which makes me squint because I'm Susie Anti-Medicine. (for me, personally. Not judging anyone else in ANY WAY)

If you research this drug, it reads as either the devil or a lifesaver.  I would personally describe it as both.  It's the devil because it can be addictive.  I'm on the lowest possible dose and could only take it at night because it made me STOOPID. This did concern me but I wasn't terribly concerned about the dependency factor.  But it kept me from wanting to saw off my leg with whatever implement I could reach.

It soothed the ADD though.  It allowed me to sleep through the night.  So, now the middle of the night terrors are back and the ADD is making my head swim a little.  I swear if Kevin hears "Oh, I forgot!" one more time...ugh.

Kevin takes Melatonin because he is ADHD and this helps his sleep cycle.  I tried it but it freaks me out a little.  I have really vivid dreams and it makes me a little dizzy.  It doesn't seem like it's been super effective.  Now I'm trying St Johns Wort for anxiety and depression.  It hasn't been long enough to state a definitive opinion but I do feel like sparklers are going off in my head and it feels like someone has adjusted the contrast in my eyesight.  So, we'll see. 

I'm having to refer to my bag of tricks that I haven't had to think about for awhile:
Making lists is a big one.  I usually have one constantly running in my head but committing it to paper is more helpful.
Setting time limits for tasks.  (think of motivating kids: "You have two minutes to make your bed." 
Sticking to a schedule.  (because woooboy can I lose a day easily!)
Having one significant goal each day...completing a project, running an errand, etc.
Getting super organized.  I mean, I already am but eliminating anything that can send me down the rabbit hole is good.
Remembering to g.d. EAT.  Yes, I'm that hateful person who forgets to eat.
Limiting screen time is good too.  I can watch Bones all day or play Farmville on my tablet until...wait for it...the cows come home. 

It's all a process.  I'm trying to do the homeopathic way and use coping techniques before resorting back to the nerve blocker; recognizing that it might just be a reality for me.  Also, I realize it's going to take a bit to find the right combination and even then, it will change. 

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