Here's a little timeline:
- Came in muttering
- Took out breakfast from plastic bags and banging of spoon for what felt like ten minutes
- More muttering
- Wadding up paper while throwing it away
- Oh good, the phone. This probably is inferred but she is also a loud talker.
- This person is an ice and gum chewer and a lick/scrape every possible bit of yogurt from a cup kind of person.
- Oh, the yogurt scraping has begun.
- Moved onto apple slices in a plastic bag
- Sad, tiny little angel baby came in with a teacher and she never even acknowledged them. They were directly behind her. Who ignores sad tiny humans!?!?
- Muttering again…
- Oh, I almost missed mentioning the haptic sound of her phone when she apparently sends novella sized texts
And the fact. FACT, I say, that every food she eats is wrapped in plastic and crinkly wrapping that apparently takes escape room level timing and skills to unwrap. (imagine opening candy in a quiet theatre) Oh, and the fast food soda cups...sigh. She is not only an ice chewer but a slurper as well; accompanied by the ever soothing sound of the straw scraping against plastic.
In case you worry that I might be melodramatic, I must also mention the day that she was listening to music through her headphones and shall I say so were we. It was so loud. BUT THEN and I swear to gawd this is true: she began to sing The Backup Vocals. The "Ooh" and the "Aahhs" and Whoaaasss" parts.
Now I recognize that I have my own issues, I'm an alphabet soup of issues. I am far from perfect. I realize this all could be overly noticeable by me just because of said issues.
Until the slinky story. The slinky story squashes any contrary argument.