30 September 2012
Although we haven't had measurable rain for months and don't see any in the near future, the temperatures have dropped enough that t-shirts aren't warm enough anymore. To be honest, I've been cold since the surgery, what is that about? I just can't get warm, which is weird in August.
For years, I didn't switch clothes seasonally. Our closet is different than in our old house. Our old house had plenty of space but the new closet started getting crowded. So I tried it and I liked it. There was more space and it was a strange Christmas-like feeling when it was time to bring out the next seasons clothes.
This year, in the Spring, Kevin had to help move things, much to his displeasure. Guys are lucky that this whole process doesn't apply to them. So, I had clothes stuffed into a suitcase. I was unsure what fit or didn't fit because of weight loss, etc. I didn't get the chance to cull through my stuff before putting it away.
I spent most of today with my clothing on my bed. I sorted through all of it, tried on a few things, and started to separate the clothing by seasons. It occurred to me that this time and Every Year I realize, after the fact, that I need summer clothes for our trip to Vegas.
I culled through everything one more time then decided to stuff all - regardless of season - into the closet. It's not as over-stuffed as I imagined it might be. I still feel like I need to go through it again over the next month. I'm sure there are items that I kept for reasons unknown.
I also need to do the second cull of my shoes. I honestly think I'm going to be a sneakers only girl from here on but I just can't let go of my shoes just yet. Perhaps after the year anniversary I will do it. Yeah, that's it. (she said while shaking her head & crossing her fingers)
Nearly all of my track pants have been banished. I just can't wear them anymore. I only kept two pairs. Also, I've managed to collect approximately one million pairs of socks. (Oh, I cleaned out the dresser too.)
I feel a little more connected to the world now. I'm all caught up, my clothing is organized, I feel ready for the cold weather and for our trip. It's almost like when someone has memory loss and they go through all their things to try to remember.
27 September 2012
There really isn't one, really.
Except if you're me.
Now I feel compelled to wear purple a lot.
Luckily, I have plenty of purple to match my glasses. But not always.
Then I compromise with black or navy blue.
Maybe I need to order another pair in a different color. Or I can just get over it.
Yeah, probably not.
Did I mention I have a new cell phone cover? Guess what color?
23 September 2012
Our racing season is finished, it was a short one due to the late start of summer here in the Pacific Northwest. We are also already getting ready for next year. We shut down early to sell the engine and build another one.
It wasn't a bad season, even with the cane and braces. Kevin runner-upped so that's good. Our friend Scotty (the one that had the little bout with cancer) won his first ever race and our friend Henry won the other races so that's all good.
Kevin runner-upped every race so he was the bridesmaid all season.
As always, our friend Paul got some very cool shots of us.
|That's me in front of the car. A trust exercise that happens at 25 mpg.|
It's important that Kevin is sitting squared when he begins. It's equally important that he's "in the groove", which is exactly what it sounds like. What I am doing in the picture is ensuring that the burnout (the smoke from the tires) is exactly right. As he pulls out of the smoke is when we make sure he is square and in the groove.
That's the trust part as he's headed toward us at a good rate of speed.
To put it in perspective, in a quarter-mile length, he goes 154 mph and it takes him 8.75 seconds from beginning to end. He travels sixty feet in 1.25 seconds.
This is all car-nerd stuff, I realize.
I never think of what can go wrong. I usually get nervous that I am going to do the job correctly. The pressure is always on me, never on Kevin.
I've only been truly nervous once before and it was at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, when we raced with the big boys in 2009. I could have easily hurled in the staging lanes.
I never, ever pay attention to the crowd. Except for one time. The one time that there was a delay and John the announcer mentioned the spectators and I was DUMB enough to look up at the stands. Dumb, dumb, dumb move. Our friend Paul took a picture of the stands at the last race.
|This is a portion of the crowd. There are longer stands on the other side. Yeah.|
20 September 2012
I have benign masses in both breasts. A week ago, I just had one mass but after having a physical and a mammogram, it was discovered that I have two. Strangely it is the mirror opposite of the original one. My OCD is very pleased. The doctor even mentioned that I had a matching set. (doctor's have such black humor, I enjoy it so much)
Also, the physical exam did not pick it up. Kevin didn't notice it. (he found the first one) The mammogram did. So, to anyone that is scared to get one done: buck up and do it because it's more important than your fear of "what-if".
AND what started this whole adventure was BFF C had a year-long task list challenge that she issued to us, which included all the self-care stuff. I skipped last year's mammogram (I don't even know why, really) so it felt a little serendipitous.
Oh, and here's what I did: I chose a day and booked everything I could into one morning. I went to the dentist, chiropractor, physical, and eye doctor all in one day. If I could have gotten the mammogram on the same day, I totally would but just couldn't pull it off.
I now challenge all y'all to get this done. Go get all your self-care appointments taken care of.
I had the mammogram done and really had no reservations about it at all. So when they called and said I had a new mass in the other breast, I swirled the drain a little bit. I mean, because really, I've had such a fantastic year. *sarcasm*
So the next day I had more scans and an ultrasound. I waited for the results in the exam room, hoping that the radiologist would say "Yeah, it's the same as the other, no worries."
Not so much. I had to schedule a biopsy. *really bad words*
This is where I was conflicted. Do I tell friends & family now or later? Do I worry them needlessly or give them a heads-up that bad things are possibly abreast. (see what I did there?)
This what we decided: we kept it on the down low with the family because with Kevin's mom's health, no need to ring that bell until we Had To. Luckily, we didn't.
With my friends, I told just my two BFF's because it felt wrong to be withholding.
Even then, I felt horrible burdening them with a "This might be happening" thing.
I went in for the biopsy by myself. I know, I know, that's against all recommendations but I would rather just deal with this sh*t by myself, at first. I didn't think it was prudent to disrupt everyone else's day when if the results were bad, I would so be disrupting everyone else's lives.
So, getting the biopsy was very much like getting your ears pierced but with much more insecurity and vulnerability. Even the "gun" that takes the samples sounds like an earring gun. It took about thirty minutes and off-you-go. It's a two day wait for results.
I was fairly certain that it was just a benign mass at this point and the doctor that did the procedure was as well. It was nice that she said so instead of the afraid-of-being-sued one often gets from people.
But here's the weird part:
I'm micro-chipped. Well, not electronically but chipped all the same. I have a tiny, cancer ribbon shaped, titanium chip next to the mass so that future scans and medical personnel will know that the mass has been diagnosed. So weird.
I've tried to find a picture but searching for anything that contains the words "breast" or "implants" is futile unless you're male or lesbian.
Two days went by and would you believe that I MISSED THE CALL? I was at work and absentmindedly put my phone in my sweatshirt pocket for like a minute and they called.
I was actually relieved when I saw that they left a voicemail because then I could listen to the results without the pressure of having someone on the other line. The message was totally cheery and she even said "I'm calling with good news" which I thought was very kind.
I called Kevin, then emailed & texted the BFF's and did a little relieved happy dance. Dance along with me, won't you?
What have we learned?
1) Get your mammogram
2) Get your mammogram
3) Don't make me say it again
18 September 2012
At an interview, at first, you're all powered up and ready for anything. "Oh you need me to make coffee while answering the phone and completing tune-ups in the motorpool while I come up with the perfect ad campaign for adult diapers? SURE. Totally can do that."
When, in fact, Not Even.
Then the second interview you are perhaps not as formal, a little more relaxed. You let a little more of YOU peek through.
Of course, you still answer the questions in a positive, perfect world sort of way: "How would you handle *this* situation?" You give your very best answer, when in reality, you might handle it differently but OMG you want the job SO badly so you'll answer "perfectly" instead of "realistically".
Or, you answer based on your own set of experiences but then learn that it's not at all like you imagined once you're in the actual job.
This is why I usually focus on a persons characterstics and personality during interviews. Sure, their job history & skills are to be considered. To me, I am more worried about factors in the person's ability in the job they are getting Now, not the job they had. (not to ignore warning flags, for sure)
They can learn job skills, they can't necessarily learn people skills. You can have all the education and experience available, but if you're a d*ck, then it all comes to a halt. Dickishness cannot be unlearned.
So, while we wade through the last 45 days of the campaign, let's look at it like a job interview. Let's see if that makes it any more tolerable.
17 September 2012
(yes, I realize I have way too much time on my hands)
I bet you're wondering WTH is my point , huh?
Is it just me or does the sentimentality of getting wedding rings been reduced to a business transaction? There are terms and requirements: X amount of the man's salary, cut-color-clarity, settings, and negotiations are done prior to the engagement.
I just don't get it. It seems gone are the days of giving Grandma's ring or letting the man choose one so there is a surprise element. (we, as a people, are going to have to figure out how to address gender in marriage, with the approval of gay marriages. It seems like it will be more personalized than "groom" and "bride" That's kind of fun to think about.)
Anyway, I wonder if that why all these grand gesture engagements are happening lately. The girl already knows he's going to ask and what he's going to give her.
I understand, it's possible that a ring that isn't to someone's taste could be given or that they hated his grandma or whatever. But most times, I think it's unlikely. I also acknowledge that not every relationship is designed that way.
And are rings not gold anymore? All is see is the platinum settings now. I think they're lovely but my preference is gold. *shrug*
In case you're wondering, Kevin chose my ring. I was there but he chose it. (second marriage for the both of us) I also wear a plain band & his band with it.
I guess I'm getting old and just not understanding "kids these days." What do you think? What rings do you wear? How did you choose?
16 September 2012
First off, previews are misleading many times and I hate that. There's nothing like getting interested in or excited by something only to have it not come to fruition during the next episode.
It just seems like it takes some of the fun out of watching. I enjoy being surprised by plotlines. To me it's like when a friend says they have something to tell you about that's So Exciting and they build it up then it's rarely as exciting as you have imagined.
If a show is good, there shouldn't be a need for previews. I'm already looking forward to watching it next week. I don't need to be teased into watching again by misleading clips.
I am skeptical about reviews as well. I pay mild attention to them and don't read them at all if the critic has the tendency to describe to plot in great detail. If I read their type of review, I no longer need to read the book that I used to be excited about.
Kevin enjoys previews. He's genuinely disappointed if the dvr cuts them off. So we're a mixed marriage.
Do you like previews? or would you rather just watch the story unfold on it's own?
13 September 2012
|Photo by Kevin. Believe it or not, this is the best out of four. I think I'm saying "Just take the picture, I'm already over it."|
The site has some truly funky frames but they also have some trendy, cute, cool ones too. You can build a wishlist and even upload a picture to see how they would look. This is recommended because mine are a little big for my head. But they are super comfortable so I don't care.
You need your prescription and maybe need to measure your pupil distance, which is easy and they provide instructions. It will save your prescription so you can order more later when you want. (impulse buying!)
I am really rough on wire frames so the plastic ones are like heaven to me. I am going to order a second pair just because I CAN, it's so inexpensive. There is a Burberry patterned pair that I think are cool but I'M not cool enough to pull them off. I considered red frames but it conjures images of Sally Jessy Raphael and I just can't do it. Maybe green ones instead.
There is a discount eyeglasses store here but it's kind of a You Get What You Pay For situation. The prescriptions have been "fine", not great, and the frames have been wonky. The eye doctor I see is absolutely lovely but the retail part is super expensive. This seemed to have solved the problem for me. Hooray!
|screen grab from zennioptical.com|
12 September 2012
We're having a rough week over here. Kevin's mom is having surgery on Friday, I've got some health stuff going on, plus just the normal living life stuff.
So I'm laying on the couch tonight and Kevin hands me his phone with the MP3 beginning to play. "This makes me think of you, every time I hear it." Then he goes to take a shower.
Best. guy. ever.
10 September 2012
|my sister-in-law brought me lunch one day. I sat down to read while I ate and was knocked over by the irony|
|This is Kevin's Uncle's dog, Buster. Too cute to resist.|
|Something broke the dog|
|This is the text response I give when asked "Is dinner ready?"|
|Kevin's truck (formerly mine) achieved quite a milestone last week!|
09 September 2012
The family reunification has continued for my father-in-law. We spent last weekend with two of the estranged brothers and sisters.
It was perfectly lovely, every minute of it.
Out of six siblings, four were here. The remaining two will mostly not reunite as one has had a stroke that has altered her personality so gravely that she doesn't keep in touch with anyone anymore. The other was the black sheep brother that only talks to my father-in-law. All in all, even by soap opera standards, the family is intact once again.
There was no mistaking that they were siblings. My father-in-law and the uncle were wearing the same exact shoes and stood & sat the same way. The sisters were all wearing pink and sound exactly the same. All of them are well-versed in smartassery. Epic levels of smartassery.
Some of the cousins were here as well. Strangely, I knew one of Kevin's cousins when I was married to Michael so it's always a little weird to see her. Kevin and one of his cousins resemble each other. Kevin and his brother don't look alike at all and their personalities are polar opposite. So when I see Kevin and his cousin Rob together, it's like a puzzle that has been completed.
I guess that also sums up the weekend: a puzzle has been completed. A family is now together again, future plans have been made, and open wounds have been healed.
Again, like we've always heard, regrets that this reunion hasn't happened sooner have been voiced. Us humans sure do know how to waste time and relationships.
08 September 2012
02 September 2012
I Can Haz Scar Tissue.
Treatment for it is simply miserable. Until now.
My favorite therapist is trying a taping technique with me. It's a kinesiology technique that requires a bit of faith. She uses black felt/velcro style tape that runs along your tendons, muscles, or whatever is appropriate for the injury. It provides nervous system stimulation that helps the body to respond differently to the injury.
It may be all in my head but it's working. The swelling is reduced thus the pain is reduced. I am a happy camper.
And I look like a superhero: