30 August 2009
I can't figure out why but it's always someone elses sadness that makes me emotional. I've luckily had plenty of opportunities to be emotional over the past few days:
D & W lowered the flag at W's firehouse to half-mast and poured a bottle of whiskey out for my dad.
Brett lowered the flags at the Big Lake & Clear Lake Fire Departments.
Little Brother lowered the flag at the house and sent a beautiful picture of the morning's sunrise.
Calls have been pouring in from friends & loved ones.
The lady at the American Legion cried when I told her Dad passed.
The neighbors were strong in front of Mom but lost it once they left the house. God Bless Rory, Dean, Cheryl, Tino & Joanne.
The Fire Department is taking care of everything for the Celebration of Life, we just have to show up with pictures & mementos.
Little Brother is going to order a bronze plaque from the Veterans Administration to be placed next to my grandfather's grave so that people have a place to go to visit Dad. His marker will also be decorated on Veteran's Day, etc.
Mom's BFF brought out chinese food for Mom last night so she didn't have to think about dinner or eat alone.
C sent flowers & a card, even though she says she sucks at this stuff.
K sent a box bursting full of treats that I think we may eat our way through over the next few days. "Good for freezing" hahahaha, yeah right.
The in-laws bought us flowers & a card AND sent Mom a bouquet.
(and in a weird way, all of the cards match...each have different sentiment)
Kevin's co-workers have all sent well-wishes.
One of my favorite fellow racers made a point to call Kevin and send condolences...there's a reason Scotty is one of my favorites. On the opposite end of the spectrum: Mig called as hadn't heard yet & asked how my dad was doing. Kevin told him that he'd died. "Well I didn't Know, f%&k man, or I wouldn't have asked! you as*****e." Feel the love Mig, feel the love.
My blogger friends have sent condolences. Kind words from people you've never met is powerful beyond words.
Once again, the magic of Facebook allowed us to quietly announce Dad's passing. We've heard sweet things from friends that would have not had happened in the past before FB.
One of my favorites:
"I shed a tear for a man I barely knew; this tear is moreso for what he meant to you. I empathize."I know, right?
I am blessed, for sure.
29 August 2009
PRESIDENT OBAMA, on Senator Edward M. Kennedy.
28 August 2009
My dad passed quietly and peacefully. After a few minutes of snot, tears & the ugly cry, we all settled back down to make our peace with what just happened. Phone calls were made, arrangements were set into motion and life resumed.
Brother Dear sent home the girls, Little Brother's girlfriend headed home and Dustin was getting ready to leave. We were all gathered around the kitchen counter in the adjoining room from where my dad was laying.
Mom said "We have to get *this* for Dad to get him ready for his journey."
Brother Dear smiles and says "Mom? I think he's already ON his journey"
Everyone laughed, including Little Brother who was sitting on the couch, next to my dad.
Kevin Didn't KNOW he was sitting on the COUCH.
Kevin thought my dead dad just laughed at the joke.
I think Kevin might have peed a little.
We LAUGHED OUT LOUD, for a long time.
As I'm sure my Dad did, wherever he is.
27 August 2009
We had pizza and soda, each of fielding telephone calls from concerned friends & relatives from time to time. Each taking a break in the relative silence that the deck provided. Intimate moments were exchanged between spouses, siblings, parents and friends.
As the night grew on, we became a little more subdued and quiet. Kevin nodded off and we finished watching the game.
The Mariners beat the Oakland A's in overtime. A few minutes later Dad, who was resting quietly and comfortably for the first time in forever, took his last breath with nary a noise.
His work here was done. We were gathered together in the house he built 52 years ago. His kids & grandkids are safe & healthy. His wife of 53 years well provided for. And his beloved Mariners won the game. What more can a man ask for?
We all laughed that he waited for the game to finish. Now we imagine him holding a large glass of whiskey with a hand of cards, holding court with his friends who passed before him.
Gracefully, even the roughest warriors can make their way.....
26 August 2009
Fred Moore Sr. passed away peacefully shortly after the Mariners won on Tuesday, August 25, 2009.
He was an avid Mariners fan. He was surrounded by his family.
Fred was born on June 4, 1933. He lived nearly his entire life in
He is survived by his wife of 53 years, Donna. His son, Fred Jr., Amy and his granddaughters whom he was incredibly proud of: April & Amber Moore; his son Gary & friend Renee, and daughter Karen and son-in-law Randy. He also leaves behind Brett Berg, whom he considered a son, his wife Tracy & their children and Dustin Sanders - his other daughter, her husband Wayne & son Ryan.
He was preceded in death by his parents, brother, and many friends.
He will be missed will missed by his pinochle & cribbage friends at the American Legion in Sedro Woolley, where he was a member for 47 years.
Fred led a very interesting life:
He was a Boy Scout as a child and was involved in the Boy Scouts when his boys were young. He was also a Little League coach off and on throughout his children’s lives.
He graduated from
He studied at
He honorably served his country for two years in the Korean War in the early 1950’s. He was an Army firefighter. He was award the National Defense Service Medal, the United Nations Service Medal and the Korean Service Medal.
He was part of the fire department for 46 years. He started as a firefighter and worked his way up to Fire Chief of the Big Lake Volunteer Fire Department , which he supported until his death. He was a Fire Commissioner for eight years following his retirement as chief.
He donated over ten gallons of blood during his lifetime, an accomplishment he was very proud of.
In partnership with Lyle Robbins, Fred began the Big Lake Fireworks tradition which is still being carried on, 46 years later. He watched all three of his children earn their pyrotechnics license.
Fred was a jack of all trades: he worked for the Skagit County Public Works, Washington State Highway Department, Rural Sanitation Services, and retired as a heavy equipment operator from Operating Engineers #302.
The family would like to thank Dr Bruce Mathey and the great staff at
The family requests everyone to share pictures and/or their favorite story of Fred at the Celebration of Life on Sunday, September 6 from 2:00 to 5:00 pm at the Big Lake Fire Department.
In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made in his name to the Big Lake Volunteer Fire Department or
19 August 2009
She refers to Dad's dying process as a "slippery slope" and I tell you if I hear that statement one more time, there is going to be gunplay. Seriously.
She also seems to think that if Dad would just eat & walk, his cancer would miraculously be cured. That and if he would just try harder, as if he has a choice.
This behavior would make sense if she seemed to *like* my dad but their marriage has been contentious, only worsening as they aged. So, to experience this sudden personality change is frustrating and confusing. And while Kevin ever so patiently points out, she's losing her husband, my response is: "Well, you know what? we also need her to be a mom."
I try to reflect on my life to see if she's always been this way or if it's a new development. I believe it's the former. We're just noticing it more now. Her job description has always been making excuse/explanations for my dad or the state of the family. The very definition of co-dependency.
As I told BFF K, there's nothing like this to shine a bright light on family dynamics.
We each have differently coping skills. Brother Dear & I, fortunately, cope the same way: dark humor and barreling forward. To give you the absolute perfect example of my Little Brother: I sent a text today stating that Hospice is sending Dad home on Saturday, he replied with a thanks and a picture of one of the bunnies that lives in his yard.
Yes, that is as random as it seems. And yes, I swear I did not just make that up.
As Brother Dear's girlfriend says "You all put the 'fun' in dysfunctional."
Nate is talking about how we all get stuck in a rut when it comes to decorating.
He explained that while we remember to update our hair and our clothing, we often forget or neglect to update our house. I thought back to the old house and he was right, the decor was a dusty country blue. The only room that had been updated was the bathroom, which was a blackberry color. The old house was LITERALLY wearing blue eyeshadow!
I've been in the Barbie Doll Dream house for four years now so I'm looking around, judging. We chose earth tones and I think the only thing that will date this house is the forest green carpet. We chose it because the other options were blue, mauve, or brown. Not very appetizing choices.
We've been thinking about painting the living room walls a mocha brown but I just haven't committed to it yet. For one thing, I don't enjoy painting and I suck at it. For another, we have large pieces of furniture that I'd just rather paint Around than disassemble. And Mocha just seems like it will be a such a dark color. Does anyone want to share an opinion/idea?
Also I'm dying to redecorate our "Common Folk Bathroom" as Kevin calls it with red instead of the navy/green color it is now. Our beloved Target has the decor that I want, I just have to commit!
But I think I'm just going to start with taking all of the framed photographs off the book case. I'll hang them on the wall with the other photographs in the hall then figure out something else...other than trophies...to display. Maybe more books! (somewhere, Kevin just winced)
18 August 2009
Your horoscope for August 18, 2009
Okay............................can't wait to see what that is about.
Swistle is a genius, this we know. But check this out, she was a trendsetter too. Although I think blog posts are difficult enough, let alone going up on stage:
If you've ever wondered what it looks like around the northern Pacific Northwest, check out three of my favorite photography blogs:
Kevin works in Stanwood and it's like his hometown
It's as if this photographer has tagged along in my life...most of these pictures are taken within a twenty mile radius of where I live. Wonder where a picture was taken, ask me. Odds are good I'll be able to give you directions. (:-D I found him while aimlessly wandering the internets.
16 August 2009
Walking back from the mailbox today the smell of fall was noticable. It was confirmed as I spotted the leaves on the road.
It's only the middle of August and summer always returns for a little while, usually right after school starts. But after one week of rain preceded by temperatures in the nineties, us natives are ready to shed our leaves & hunker down.
So this wasn't a totally unwelcome sight.
"I NEED patent leather red heels in an 11. dang it no one carries them. I may have to go to a sex shop in seattle to get them.. up to a ten sure no problem 11 shop with the trannies."
15 August 2009
Finally, after finishing some errands and chores and checking email & facebook, I settled down. I'm a night person so the moment 5:00 pm rolled around, I was Suzy-On-Task.
What's "Excavation" have to do with any of this you ask?
Oh My God. My Desk.
Firstly, I have a desk the size of a single-bed. Seriously. I keep the top of it cleaned off because it's so freaking cool. It's solid oak and huge and lovely.
But with that, means one large drawer stuffed full of odd items. A watch box, magazines that I have no idea why I kept, old crosswords, scribbled notes of finished and/or abandoned blog posts. To Do lists. To-Do-Someday-Before -I-Am-Old lists. Add to Amazon Wish List list. A random VHS tape that I have no idea why is in there. Pictures, random stationary, a USB cord that I don't know what it goes to. You know, the usual stuff.
I have a huge bag full of stuff from our Vegas trip that I keep Meaning To make into a scrap book. Sigh of guilt...
The datebook of when Kevin was sick..tells me his diagnosis & treatment dates. Can't believe I thought to keep it but there it is!
I now have two neat drawers...Oh, and another thing, I need to back up off the journals. I found FIVE. Five for God's sake.
Now I have a pile of "stuff". Lists that need culled. Research that needs to be either done or abandoned...clearly was in the abandoned category for a while there...and filing. Ugh. Filing. That is going to happen another day, Scarlett.
So, here is my desk. Excuse the heavenly glare from the funky lamps...the lighting is funky to photograph in this room. One HUGE window that creates a glare...overhead lighting is too stark and this way, it looks as if I write within a lovely sepia-toned oasis...or something like that.
That's something fun to think about. Post it in the comment section or post a blog with your answer.
What would mine be? Hmmm....
I guess it would be something that I actually stole from either Dear Abby or a movie, I'm not sure.
His side, Her side, and What Actually Happened."
14 August 2009
We are still not doing the red meat thing. We have it about once a week at the most and it's usually if we're eating out on Friday nights. I used to crave it but now, it seems, my stomach is all WTF if I eat it. I guess this is a good thing.
I've "solved" the chicken breast issue I kept running up against. It boils down to laziness. I tend to not want to (or simply forget) defrost the chicken breasts that are lazing around in the freezer. I stop by the high-end grocery store that just happens to be on the way home from work and buy a grilled chicken breast from the deli. This is a MIRACLE for me. Not only do I not have to cook, I can branch out...grilled chicken caeser salad, chicken & potatoes, etc. etc.
We've been eating salmon weekly. I hate to admit it: I'm getting tired of it. I am going to have to find a fish replacement soon...and not fish sticks even though I triple love fish sticks. (Yes, I am six years old)
I also phone it in on Sundays. We have breakfast. While not the best for us, it's better than a lot of what we used to eat.
We don't drink soda much at all. I have lost a taste for it, which I would have NEVER, Ever, Never would think have happened.
I still have my mocha addiction but I've given up worrying about that. If I were ballooning up, I would consider it but I'm shrinking instead so nanner, nanner, nanner.
Kevin has a check-up next month so we'll know how his bloodwork comes out. If it's still high, then I'm hiring a chef doggone it.
13 August 2009
I found this in a second-hand shop way back in the day. It's a tin recipe box. My mom has one just like it and I couldn't pass it up even though I will eventually inherit hers.
It holds index sized cards and I even have recipe cards for it, even though I have No Idea how that happened! There are even recipes tucked in there. Granted, there are recipes written on sticky notes, torn from magazines and even recipes that I had from when I was married to Michael.
There are a few recipes covered in packing tape. No, this isn't white-trash laminating but it's close. In the old house, I had them taped on the back of the cupboard doors above the stove. This charming little box is probably a much more kitchen friendly way of storing recipes that I rarely use.
Although, I am thinking about trying to make crepes...I used to be able to make them. So I'll have to fish that recipe out of the box and buy the ingredients.
I'll let you know how it goes!
12 August 2009
Chuckanut Drive travels along the coast line, starting in the flatlands of Skagit County. It progresses uphill - not unlike a mountain pass - eventually ending in Bellingham proper.
At the crest of the road there are turnoffs where people can take photographs or simply chill & enjoy the view.
So, take a deep breath and enjoy...
08 August 2009
Today included watching a one-year-old cry it out on a small jungle gym and a toddler walk away while chasing a balloon. When my unmarried twenty-four year old nephew yells "Watch. Your. Kids!" to the crowd in general, this is bad.
Unfortunately, the little nephew has a mohawk. Today, it was burgundy colored. For whatever reason, his parents think it's cute.
When we see him, we invariably comment "Ohhhh, what a cute little white-supremist" because that's what he looks like. He's blond and blue eyed so he looks like a little Aryan child.
It's just not good.
But here's the thing:
*pause* If you're against equal rights for gays/lesbians. Stop reading right now and join us on the next blog post. kthanks.
He seems to have gay tendencies. I am Totally Cool with that. He can be whatever he wants to be when it comes to sexual orientation. I've seen signs in other children and I believe it's a nature vs. nurture thing. I think God wired us all specifically, inclusive of sexual preferences.
Anyway...it's a contradiction. His mohawk, which I think his poor parents thinks makes him look "tough" juxtaposed with his favorite color being purple, his favorite present is always clothing. He used to play with dolls & dress-up clothes predominately. (parents discouraged it so much, I think he's given up) He's professed wanting to be a girl. Superficially, the signs are all there.
Unfortunately, his parents are not as hip & groovy as we are. They are against him being anything other than straight. Whenever the topic comes up, I am usually heard loudly saying "There's NOTHING wrong with that."
Today, he was wearing purple luau-themed sunglasses. His dad remarked that he couldn't see much through them. My adult nephew says:
"Yes he can, he sees *Fabulous*!!!" with the accompanying appropriate effeminate gestures.
I nearly inhaled a bottle of water & spat it across the table in one guffaw.
Hopefully the little nephew grows up happy, healthy and accepted with any choices that he makes. Until then, poor guy has an uphill battle.
06 August 2009
Then I tried to remember what side of the bed I slept on as a child. This was a little difficult as it's been *cough* thirty-ish *ahem* years and I slept on a single sized bed. Also, I constantly moved my room around.
So then I had to think about when I was married to Michael. Always my favorite. I slept on the left! On a *waterbed*. NICE.
At this point in life, there's no switching things up. It's interesting to think about though. Or I'm just easily entertained....
05 August 2009
Thank God for the dogs or I'd never get home.
04 August 2009
Here's an unbelievably wonderful house to oooh and ahhhh over.
I think it would be a wonderful Blogher House yes?
You HAVE TO click the link. Seriously.
03 August 2009
As I sat listening to everyone talk, I was fascinated with the cast of characters:
There's Mark who reminds me of Craig Ferguson. He is not much taller than I am and constantly has mischief in his eyes. There is never doubt what Mark thinks about something. He has a dry sense of humor that I appreciate so much.
There's Rich who used to be a Man Whore but seems to have grown out of it. He's wicked funny and smart. He enjoys being the center of attention. He's the guy who checks himself out in the mirror. But the more I get to know him, the more I like him.
There's Doug who was also called "Sofa King" for a long time as his race car had a decal that
said "This Car is Sofa King Fast"
Doug has no censor factor and says whatever comes into his head. Dougie tells stories that make you want to say "BullShit" but you know they're probably true if Doug is telling them.
((Case in point...they told a story about how this guy nicknamed "Too Tall" killed a bird in a bar one night...it was a group story telling and one of the funniest/horrifying stories ever.))
There's Steve & his dad Reg. Steve is one of those guys that used to be somebody and realized that there were other things in life. He has a wife & two daughters now. Reg is the kind of dad we all want. And he likes to give Kevin alcohol after racing is done. This weekend was no exception.
There's Miguel...he's a dad first and foremost. Unfortunately, his two daughters are Hell On Wheels. He's also the culprit of corrupting my language. Miguel has 101 ways to use the word f&8k. Miguel calls Kevin "Tweeker" because of the ADHD.
There's Glenn...Glenn is the guy that has heard "I like you as a friend" way too many times. Finally, he seems to have found someone and has a baby girl. He has the most infectious laugh when something really makes him laugh.
There's Ray who is like the Three Stooges all rolled into one. He doesn't have a car but rolls around the track on a golf cart.
There's Harry who hasn't raced in years but has been all over Kevin's car this weekend. They used to be competitors back-in-the-day but Harry quit racing. Rumor has it he has more money than God himself. No one seems to know how.
There's Dal...one of my all time favorite racers ever. I have some really great Dal stories. I should tell those one day.... Dal is Eastern Indian and has never once treated me like a girl. In fact, it's quite the opposite. At the end of the day, he suddenly announced that he has another child due in a month. Classic Dal.
There are two Kens...Ken from Token and Ken with the racecar...Ken from Token works for the track and does one of my old jobs. I love making Ken laugh because I'm one of those outspoken American girls.
There's Michelle...whom I Swear To God It's True used to be a man. It's TRUE.
The former track announcer Rick looks like he belongs on the show WKRP in Cincinnati. He used to do 80's trivia and I could kick ass at that. Also, he called some import racers "effing retards" over the speakers one Friday night. I've rarely laughed that hard.
I always hate the end of the season or even just the end of the race. It's like the last day of school and you know you won't see your friends for three whole months. They only live an hour away but with the border & new travel requirements, it makes it easy to say "We'll see them next time."
02 August 2009
These drives give us the opportunity to discuss what is currently happening with the family or each other. Right now, of course, there is plenty going on with the reappearance of his ex-wife and my dads illness. Even when there isn't such life altering things happening, we often find ourselves submersed in serious conversations. We've made some pretty big decisions while traveling.
Traveling in the truck is a comfortable, somewhat soothing way to discuss big topics. We can't get mad, grouchy or snippy because we're stuck right next to each other. We don't necessarily even have to look at each other if we don't want. It's very nearly couples therapy.
We're driving to Vegas in November so that will be like a 1600 mile session.
01 August 2009
I have to admit that few things infuriate me more than bicycle riders. It's not fair, it's not rational. It's not good to generalize. I understand this.
I was always taught to yield to cars, follow traffic laws and Pay Attention Lest You Get Run Over like Roadkill. Even MY parents were able to convey these very simple rules. So, I say with all the kindness I can muster: WTF bicyclists??
Two and three abreast...ignoring oncoming traffic and blind curves. Alternating between holding up traffic and pulling over, precariously balancing on two tires while stopped versus making the monumental reach of putting your feet down. Alternating between using the road and the sidewalk...using the crosswalk...
Oh, I could go on. I'm not even mentioning the Attire. Men - I don't need to know your religion, thanks. Women - No Ones and I mean NO ONES ass looks good in biker pants. Just Stop It.
"Share the Road" seems to actually mean "I get to do whatever I want because I'm saving the environment one pedal at a time and You're NOT." F#&k off, seriously.
Like I said, I have issues.
Disclaimer: apologies for any bicyclist readers...I'm sure you commit none of the above offenses and are perfectly lovely...