18 August 2018

On the Headstone Maybe

Kevin and I always, I mean always, end our calls with “Love you bye”.  His has morphed into one syllable that sounds similar to lullaby.  He can say it in front of people and they’re not quite sure if they heard something mushy or whatever.  Don’t worry, we’re not one of those “No, YOU hang up first” couples.  We are a couple that has seen some shit so we know to say it while we can.

He has a dangerous job so there are jobs he does that he either doesn’t tell me about or tells me about after they are done.  It’s how I don’t eat my hair while he’s at work. 

Sometimes he will call during the day and seemingly have, like, nothing to share.  I find myself being visibly but silently impatient during these conversations.  We’ve all been there; gesturing “What?! Why?” with your hands.  Usually it’s with a parent though.

I assume that sometimes he just needs a break.  His job is a stressful one and he doesn’t always enjoy People.  And people exist at his job and he’s in charge of them.  His lifelong B.f.f. once said “you realize yelling at your staff isn’t cardio, right?”  Not that he yells AT them, he’s just loud in a loud environment.  But when he does lose it, oh it’s a thing of beauty.  It’s a pull up a seat, have some popcorn and soda because shit just got real y’all. 

Anyway, off topic.  It took me YEARS to figure out it’s because he’s nervous or something went sideways and he’s touching base.  YEARS.   Now I try to not want to kill him when he does it.

Anyway, once in a while, he will slip and tell me he’s doing something dangerous ahead of time.  I always say “Be careful. Love you bye.”   He always says “Whatever love you bye.”  It makes me laugh every time. 

Yesterday, it occurred to me that if something ever happens, I am totally going to use that somehow in the memorial.