28 October 2012

Where The Bodies Are

This seemed a proper Halloween post.

Where I live is pretty secluded.  We live on the boundary of two rural counties, not far from the Canadian border.  So it can get weird here.  Not many houses, just a gas station, a bar, and lots of woods.

Over the years, the neighborhood (because it's not quite a town) has become a popular place to leave bodies.  Yep, bodies.  Sometimes the act (of creating "bodies") happens here and sometimes it just becomes the final resting place.

Let's start next door. Across the creek from us is an older farmhouse. It used to be horse ranch.  A few years before Kevin and I bought the property, there was a murder.  The ranch owner (who shares the same surname as us but is not a relation) was murdered in his bed by his daughter.

For years, no one lived in that house.  When people did move in, they didn't stay long and rumor had it that it was haunted.  Finally a couple bought it, extensively remodeled it, and lived there.  Then her husband died.  He was just sick though, not killed.

Now, if we head toward I-5 (the freeway), a teenaged girl was dropped off either dead or for-dead after announcing that she was going to tell that her mother's boyfriend had been doing not-so-nice things to her.  The boyfriend now lives in prison for the rest of his life.

Go about a mile east further and the body of high school teacher was found.  He was killed by a jealous husband for having a relationship with the man's wife. As happens.

If you head north, the next exit is uninhabited except for a gas station.  There have been two overdoses at the gas station and one suspicious death of a man in a car at the actual gas station and one on the other side of the freeway.

If you head south-east, there is a backroad where the young man of a Canadian couple who disappeared from the ferry was found.

Then there is the Alger Six that I wrote about when it happened.  Their deaths are the most haunting.

Fortunately the woman with the slashed throat is still alive.  There have been no further details other than her husband is in jail, awaiting a trial.

So, there's the dead body tour of our neighborhood. Makes you want to live here, doesn't it? 

27 October 2012

Hokey Pokey

Oh Hai!

I haven't written much about the whole recovery thing because even *I* am tired of hearing about it.  But when I disappear for a week-ish, on a regular basis, it seems worth acknowledging.

One frustration I am having is the utter tiredness of recovery. It's like an effed up version of the hokey pokey.  One day I feel great then the next: total crap. One step forward, one step back.  Put your left foot in, put your left foot out.  This is where my patience is tried. and tried. and tried.  (or if you're dyslexic, like me, you read "tired. and tired. and tired. Both apply.)

Don't get me wrong, I feel good most times. I know when I'm going to be tired and sore.  It's the increments that I have to live by right now.  One active day equals one not-so-active day.  This doesn't make working, therapy, and general life-living easy.

By Friday, I hate everyone unilaterally. Kevin usually finds me napping on the couch Friday when he comes home. (last night: fully dressed, under the blanket, with a bed pillow, perhaps with my shoes on.)

During the first six weeks of being on bedrest, moving around wasn't a choice. Now moving around is a choice. Then when the body reminds you not to, it sucks.
Also the way my brain is wired it tells me that I can move now.  Move. Now. Move. Move It.  (how many of you just heard Madagascar in your head?)

The suggestions for coping with this is...say it with me: Move Less. I'm six months out from the injury, with six months left of "recovery" and I just want to punch people.  Also: I should own stock in Extra Strength Tylenol by now.

Here's how my weekday goes:

5:00 am - Send Kevin to work

5:15 - sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories or
         go back to bed if I had a bad day/night

8:00 - get ready for work.  (when I will remember that I can't hurry anymore, who knows? It seems no time soon)

9:00-3:00-ish: work

3:00-4:00-ish: therapy two days, weekly

4:15 - sit in the recliner with the leg elevated & watch my stories (sense a theme?)

6:00 - make & have dinner with Kevin

6:30 -  sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and iced & watch my stories

9:00 - go to bed

There was a time that I would have LOVED this.  There are times where I still enjoy "sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories" but it's getting old.  I would enjoy "sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories" if it were a choice instead of a requirement.

Maybe that's it: I'm bucking against authority.  It's my inner rebel yelling "You can't hold me down!"  Except, I'm wrong.  I can be held down, quite easily actually.

You put your one foot in, you put your own foot out.

If you need me: I'll be siting in the recliner with the leg elevated and watching my stories

25 October 2012

News & Notes

Only 20 days until we go to Vegas.  I am So Ready.  Which seems ridiculous after having so much time at home.  I am looking forward to having a break from this new routine that I have. (read: physical therapy and work)

CNN featured a new attraction in Vegas that I have a feeling that I am going to get peer pressured into doing:


Here's a random question: how long is beef stew good for?    There is a familial disagreement on how long it can be kept.  Details: hamburger - not pot roast or shredded beef,  homemade, kept in the refrigerator.

Kevin recently received two mind-boggling offers to purchase our racecar.  He's passed, without hesitation.  It is the first car we rode in together, on our first date.
There would have to be a really, really big reason for us to ever sell it.  Instead, it's been put away for hibernation until Spring.

I think if it was allowed I would only write with a pencil.  I am particular about the pens I write with and even then my handwriting tends to get crazy. I find that with pencils, my penmanship is so much better.  Also: erasers.

NaNoWriMo is starting again soon.  Every year I'm tempted.  Even this year when I have more than enough on my plate.  Some day, I will do it.

The ER cut off my pants when I threw myself down the stairs.  I have been heartsick since as they were my favorite pants.  Black brushed cords that were super comfortable.  I haven't been able to look much because of the whole not moving thing.  Yesterday I made it a goal to find them.  And I did, at Fred Meyer for $50.  I know that this isn't much, especially for happiness, but  I couldn't just drop $50 on pants right before our trip.  I comforted myself with the idea that I had at least found a store that had them.

Then I thought: the INTERWEBS.  Amazon didn't have them, nor did the first few search suggestions.  Until light shown down upon the laptop.  You will never guess who had them: SEARS.  For half-price nonetheless.  Thank you sweet baby jesus.  They will be here sometime this week!  Yes, "they" because you see I couldn't justify $50 for a pair but I could for Two Pairs!!

I need the two most recent Pampers commercials as screensavers.  They are cute overload.  First the Chair Climbers:

and now the bed heads.

So much cute!

Then there's the ad with all the laughter, starting with babies up to grandparents.  I love that one too.


21 October 2012

Live Blogging Monica's Closet Excavation

Today's the day.  The day to clean out Monica's closet. (if you're wondering wth I'm talking about, click here: http://youtu.be/R4VCrlWyXbQ  )  It hasn't been touched since I threw myself down the stairs. Other than to randomly toss stuff in there, slam the door, then run away.

Kevin walked in and said "What are you doing? OMG Clean up this mess!"

Two boxes of CD's from when Kevin's brother converted them to MP3's...Now WTF am I to do with them?

Three sports balls, a water gun, and a super bounce ball for the kids.  Because these are easy to store.

Easter decorations EVERYWHERE.

Amazon boxes EVERYWHERE.

The beautiful table runner I brought home has a ghastly stain. Doggone it.

Pile of throw rugs that have been banished since the wheelchair days.  Hmmmm.

If my mother-n-law buys any Christmas wrap or bows this year, it's going to be a very merry UnChristmas.  (we store her Christmas stuff)

A lamp my aunt gave me from my mom's house because "You said you liked it and wanted it"  WHEN I WAS SIX.

 A failed bills filing system and leftover shredding because I overloaded the shredding.

Oh good, more picture frames.

Must not look in random photo album. Must. Not. Look.

Too late...there goes 10 minutes.

I have too many empty boxes.  Christmas is in two months. What to do?

What the hell do I do with a VCR?

If I have to sort Christmas, Easter, Halloween decorations into the correct boxes, should I just leave the Christmas stuff out now?

Why do I have plastic leis?  Why don't I remember how I got them?

 You know those plastic bags with zippers that blankets come in?  Yeah, I have tens of those, need one?

I have kept a binder from the school job for years.  It was one of those "I'm sure I'll want something out of it one day" things.  I made myself take fifteen minutes to flip through it.  Out of a three-inch binder, I kept three pieces of paper.  SHEESH.

Well, nearly three hours and all is right.  Order has been restored.

(play balls in zippered bag, lamp safely-ish stowed, decorations banished to boxes, buzz lightyear boot nearly out of sight...I'm only 5'3" lol)

19 October 2012

When We Are Tired

We have conversations like this:

"Just so you know, the garbage needs to be taken out tomorrow."

"Leave me a note, it's okay to leave me a note."

"I hate being *that person*"

"Then you don't want the garbage taken out."

"So I'll leave a note.  On your forehead."

"No. Not on mine. On YOURS. Because then I'd SEE IT."

15 October 2012


Two observations from today.

When I left for work today, someone pulled out in front of me then proceeded to drive erratically onto the freeway.  They weren't speeding, but kept weaving quite a bit.

I assumed that the person was on the phone or drinking, by the way they were driving. I got past them and finally saw that the driver was a woman and she was crying.

It broke my heart a little.  Did someone die?  Did her husband leave her? Did her dog get hit by a car?  It was a little awful.


I work in a university town so there is are tons of college kids, especially right now as all the new students have invaded the stores with their newfound freedom.

I've spotted a student checking out another student a few times.  My impulse is always to stop the Checkee and tell them that the Checker was admiring them.  I've never done it but the impulse is always there.

To be clear, it's not leering that I see but admiring.  It just triggers this matchmaking impulse that is buried somewhere deep.  And, be honest, how happy would you be that a stranger thought you were attractive?

10 October 2012

What You Got

We were working in the yard over the weekend.  We decided to redo a small garden spot in our big yard.   This is the one I referenced awhile ago about gardening with Kevin requires a chain saw.


We were finishing up a project and by finishing up, I mean Kevin was doing it and I was standing there. With the dogs, supervising.

He was making do with some cinderblock edging that we already had, even though his brother has the kind Kevin likes and says he can use.  "But I don't want to use them because sure enough he will decide he was going to use them to, I don't know, build a house or something."  (anyone who knows my b-i-l in reals just laughed out loud.  My b-i-l is Not Motivated, unless of course, you need/want something he has extra of.  Then suddenly he was going to do something with that while he's long-suffering yet endearing wife eye-rolls in the background)

Again. Anyway.  Hello ADD, nice to meet you.

Finally as Kevin was just about finished, he sighs "It's done. You work with what you've got. Not with what you want."


That's pretty sage advice actually.

09 October 2012

Six Months

Today it is six months since I threw myself down the stairs.  I'll let that sink in:
Six Months.

Like I mentioned before, it feels like a big hunk of 2012 is missing from my memory.  Probably because It IS.  Six months!

I am a little better every day.  I say this every day: I am a little better every day.

But I still want to punch people (therapist, doctor) when they say "12-18 Months" for a full-recovery "and even then, you'll always feel it."  I try to stay positive and cheerful but the urge to headbutt someone when they say that is nearly overwhelming.

Just a quick little update: can still totally feel the screw heads & plates in my leg.  Still turn many shades of purple at any given moment.  Still never not hurts.  Still wearing a brace.  Still working part time.  Still doing physical therapy.  Still occasionally land at home on a days bedrest.


Today is the second day in those six months that I've worn big girl shoes i.e. shoes that aren't sneakers.  I tried slip-ons a month ago and whew! did that not work out well for me.  Today I am trying my trusty old Danskos (the ones that haven't tried to kill me) and while I can't zip one the one up, I am wearing them.

So, that's happy.

Water therapy is helping immensely.  So, take my advice if you ever get hurt & have physical therapy: request water therapy.  No, demand it.  It makes All The Difference.

And pack your patience.  You'll need it. 
Follow directions.
Take each day as it comes. 
Basically just put your life on hold until further notice.

Six months ago, I was in the hospital, then on bed rest, then in a wheelchair, then in the Buzz Lightyear boot, then in multiple braces.  Yikes.  Six months ago I foolishly thought "A break is better than a sprain."  But not five breaks. Five breaks trumps a sprain, as it turns out.

At least I can legally put my foot up on my desk

Here's to a less eventful, yet more exciting next six months!!!

08 October 2012

So, This was Weird, in a Really Bad Way

I came home on Friday afternoon, like I always do.  On the main road to my house, there is a big sweeping curve.  As I got closer, I noticed cars.  Then I noticed that they were Sheriff's cars.  And State Patrol cars.  And crime scene tape.


I had to actually stop for a Sheriff car to move so I put my window down and asked the nearest deputy what had happened.

"Oh, just an assault."

"An assault?"


I was surprised at his nonchallantness, frankly.  "Well, that's comforting being as I live RIGHT OVER THERE."

He didn't respond.  (I know, right?)

I went home, checked the news, checked the websites, found nothing.  My mom always has the police/fire scanner on, yet she didn't call.  She always calls if something is happening anywhere near us.

So, I thought maybe road rage or a DUI gone wrong or something.

No, no, no, big fat No.

Awhile later Twitter pops up with "Woman with slashed throat stumbles out of woods."




So now I begin to really search the interwebs.  Did I think to go next door to ask the parents? No.  But more on that in a minute. (because surely they would mention it if something happened)

Finally, hours later, this is posted:

BELLINGHAM, Wash. (AP) - Authorities say a blood-soaked woman who walked out of woods south of Bellingham was rushed to a hospital with life-threatening injuries.

The Bellingham Herald says Chief Dave Ralston of South Whatcom Fire Authority reported the woman emerged shortly after noon Friday. The newspaper says her throat was slashed.

The woman was not immediately identified.

Whatcom County sheriff's Sgt. Scott Huso says Skagit County law enforcement has taken the lead in the investigation because it appears the crime scene is in that county.

Additional details were not immediately available.

Uggghhhh.  Not comforting.  Even Kevin was a little uncomfortable with this whole situation.  He didn't get home until 6:00 pm and worked from 6:00 am - 3:00 pm on Saturday. So, here I was home alone.  Fun!

That night I bought dinner at the local tavern and while I was waiting, I thought "Who would better have gossip than the local bar?" so I asked.  But they didn't know anything more than I did.   The same at the coffee stand the next morning.

Sadly, there were comments that it has been a few years since there's been a killing here.

Finally at about noon on Saturday this was released:

MOUNT VERNON, Wash. - Authorities have arrested a 30-year-old Burlington man hours after a blood-soaked woman walked out of woods south of Bellingham with her throat cut.

Skagit County Undersheriff Tom Molitor says the suspect, who was in a domestic relationship with the victim, was arrested Saturday in Eastern Washington. The man will be transferred to Skagit County either Saturday or Sunday.

Molitor says the 20-year-old victim crawled from a wooded area along Nulle Road near the Whatcom-Skagit County line where she had been assaulted and left for dead. A citizen called after noon Friday to report finding her.

The woman was rushed to St. Joseph's Hospital in Bellingham where she is expected to recover. Molitor says she suffered severe cuts to her throat and substantial blood loss. She has not been able to talk to investigators.

The names of the victim and suspect have not been released.

Molitor said it is believed the suspect acted alone and there is no further danger to the public.

Isn't that just perfectly awful?

At least they caught him.  Hopefully she lives and fully recovers.  

When Kevin got home from work on Saturday, the family had left for a family wedding so we didn't talk to any of them until Sunday. (super unusual) So it was only then that we got to hear that there were officers, deputies, dogs, and helicopters SEARCHING OUR PROPERTY.

I think we have to have a talk about what warrants a telephone call to your kids.
Because this seems like it should be in that category.

 That's what's going on here.  How was your weekend?

07 October 2012

Things I Love Right Now

Things I love right now..to offset my grouchy Andy Rooney post.

Ranch Doritos...my love for this is forever and unending.

Long Island Medium...even if you don't believe in what she does, she seems like a lovely person.

Fall decorations

Not so much Halloween decorations, except for when they startle Kevin in the store and he nearly punched it right the hell out.  Then I love that Halloween decoration

The fact that Kevin is trying to fix the yard but is also trying to accommodate the dog's love of lying in the sun, in that exact spot.

Warm vanilla sugar scented lotion

Thirty-ish more days until we go to Vegas


Twitter, when something like eliminating Big Bird happens.

Scandal on ABC.  So.Good.  Makes me miss West Wing.

There, that should offset the grumpiness I put out into the universe earlier.

Andy Rooney Post

Things that are bugging me right now.

The "Meebo" bar that certain websites have that takes up the bottom part of the screen.  I actually think "eff off, Meebo" every time i click to reduce it. This cannot be the customer satisfaction that Meebo or user websites are going for.

Jessica Simpson.  There really is no need for explanation beyond her name.

"How I lost 30 Pounds!!!"  This is called the Divorce Diet.  Most of us have tried it, shut up.  (see: most recent People magazine)

Un-attentive drivers.  Put down your cell phone (hey, did you know it's illegal, like, everywhere?) your food, your cigarette.  Getting on the the freeway at 45 mph tells me you have no will to live nor care if I do.

Clothing sizes.  Can't they just be universal?  They are supposed to be but they're so not.  Not. Even.  Also, the fact that the national average size of women's clothing is considered plus size in some stores just irks me. This does not apply to men's clothing.  WTH.

That CMT seems to see it as their sole mission to make Americans from the South look as stupid as possible.  Not everyone from the South is "redneck" just like every person that is African American is a thug.

I'm seriously tired of the glorification of bad behavior in everything.  Breaking Bad, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, Jersey Shore, Honey Boo Boo, Real Housewives.  It's no surprise that we feel like the world is going to Hell when this is all we see in television and magazines.  Surely there has to be some good stuff going on out there that we can watch instead.

And don't get me started on the whole zombies and vampires thing.

Facebook during elections.  I am always so disappointed when I see people I know post idiotic memes and statements on their pages.  I don't mind differing opinions but I do very much mind uneducated and judging opinions.

Now I need to do a Things that Make Me Happy post to offset this crankiness.

03 October 2012

Happy Birthday to You

I am terrible at remembering birthdays.  I try, I really do.  I've written lists, notated on calendars, and set up electronic reminders.  Still, I fail occasionally.

But there are some birthdays that are on my hard drive.  I will probably never forget them.  My parents birthdays, siblings, Kevins, for instance.

Every once in a while, a birthday comes along of a person that I'm no longer in contact with.  Former friends, ex-boyfriends (or husbands...although his is on Valentine's Day so it's kind of difficult to ignore) You know who I'm talking about, we all have these people.

I wonder what to do on these birthdays.  Not acknowledge them is usually what I do.  Or perhaps send a wish out into the universe.  A card doesn't seem right and certainly not a call.  These are people that have fallen out of our lives for a reason, after all.

But it's still their birthday.

This is where I enjoy the facebook, the twitter, and the texting.  It's a way to send a quiet little wave of acknowledgement without disrupting everyone's lives.

Because even though we're not in each others lives, for whatever reason, it's still their birthday. Chances are we shared birthday memories at one point in our lives together. Happy memories.  It feels wrong to let the day pass without acknowledgement of some kind.