31 December 2020

Happy New Year's Wish for You


 

New Year Meme - 2020 Summary

 

It’s tradition! The New Years Meme!

 

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?

Be Part of History, or less charmingly: Quarantine

 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Mostly, yes. We still need a new stove

 

3. My resolutions for 2021:

        Finish painting the master bedroom. But like for real though.

        Write more.  This is a rerun, and will always be

       Buy a damn stove, like, for real though

 

4. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope, no new babies this year. 

 

5. Did anyone close to you die?

         A few.  None Covid related, by some miracle.

 

6. What countries did you visit?

         None. #thanksCovid

 

7. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

Ability to move freely about the community

 

8. What dates from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 16 – first day of quarantine, when we thought it was temporary.

May – Something happened that was Ah-Mazing. (sorrynotsorry, not sharing)

November 7 – Faith in humanity was restored.

 

9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

       Maintaining Sanity

 

10. What was your biggest failure?

        Not remaining hopeful.

 

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Quarantine has thankfully prevented this.  Except for the smashed finger, cut 

elbow, and bruised tailbone. Other than that, nope!

 

12. What was the best thing you bought?

          Rosie the Robot. All Hail the Robots!

 

13. Whose behavior merited celebration?
         Kevin, for persevering despite the challenges& taking care of the family
        A friend who gave grace when it really wasn't expected

 

14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

He Who Shan't Be Named and the people who support him.

 

15. Where did most of your money go?

        Amazon. Kroger ClickList.

 

16. What did you get really excited about?

        November Road Trip

        Election

 

17. What song will always remind you of 2020?

            Even Though I’m Leaving – Luke Combs

            Some People Do – Old Dominion

            Hard to Forget  - Sam Hunt

            Save Me – Jelly Roll

 

18. Compared to this time last year, are you: 

~ happier or sadder? Happier

~ thinner or fatter? Thinner (it’s okay to hate me)

~ richer or poorer? Better than last year #thanksCovid

 

19. What do you wish you’d done more of? 

         Leave the house

 

20. What do you wish you’d done less of? 

        Despair at the current state of affairs

 

21. How did you spend Christmas? 

       Quietly. Opened presents here at the house for the first time ever.  Dinner prepared and    

      delivered by the family.  West Wing marathon

 

22. Did you fall in love in 2020?

Every day.

 

23. What was your favorite TV program? 

       Yikes, I've watched everything and nothing jumps to mind so I'll choose all time                  favorites: Doctor Who and Grey's Anatomy

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 

        "No. I'm not a hater. It's a waste of time" is my standard answer but this year He               Who Shan't Be Named is SO on the list.  And his toadies.

 

25. What was the best book you read?

       In the middle of it right now: Just One Damned Thing After Another

 

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

        Music from the new Country music tiktok artists

                Spencer Crandall

27. What did you want and get?

          Roadtrip to the coast

 

28. What did you want and not get?

        You know, I can’t think of a single THING. More time with our friends

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Hamilton      

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

 

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

         52.  Burgers for lunch and not much else. Enjoyed messages from friends

 

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A functioning government and not the constant feeling of needing to flee to Canada.      The ability to go to Canada

 

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

         I managed to get even more casual.  I may never dress like a grownup again.

 

33. What kept you sane? 

 Kevin. Lucy. BFF's. Mochas.  

 

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
           Pete Buttegieg

 

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

the whole gawdamned gawdawful thing.

 

36. Who did you miss?

Everyone.

 

37. Who was the best new person you met?

          That’s adorable.

 

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:

       Take the moments when they present themselves

 

 

I found this old photo from the 90's and it feels like a 
representation of 2020

 

 

 

 

 

28 December 2020

Blissed in the Quiet

 *Stretch*Yawn*  Oh hey, hi, hello.

It's the week between holidays and I'm on Winter Break.  Winter break that feels particularly ridiculous when I work from home.  But now that I've made it through the holiday and am in that lull before the New Year, I am leaning into it.

I slept in this morning, like, really slept in.  I showered and cut my hair then made my way to the couch.  This has been my view for a few hours now:

I'm in my favorite tshirt and shorts because it's 75 degrees in here, by design.  I know, shush. I'm cozy. I'm fasting a bit today because OMG so much food over the past five days.  #Ihatebananas #stillcoffeethough    I'm reading the book my BFF K gave me for my birthday.  I'm ENTRANCED already with it. The puppy is alternating between laying on me, the people bed, and in front of the fire.  

This is the view out of the window right now.  It's chilly and beautiful outside.  The heron just left the creek, flew across the property and obscured the light for a moment.  The salmon have finished spawning so the creek is quiet again.  It was busy with splashes and movement; with the audience of hawks and eagles.  The beaver dams finally washed away so we have tiny rapids again.


The house is mostly defrocked but the tree remains.  It's going to stay until after the New Year with a tentative plan of taking it down on Inauguration Day.  I'm adding a day to it every time Kevin asks when it's getting put away. It may be February.

As a result of the defrocking, it looks like Christmas threw up all over my office.  However, because winter break: I am not worried about cleaning it. It, too, may wait until Inauguration Day.  

I've switched Alexa back to country music after a month of Christmas music.  As Swistle mentioned, it's kind of sad.  But the slow, quiet return to normalcy feels better.  Also, it feels like the television has been on 24/7 and even though the dvr is nearly full with Doctor Who episodes, it will remain off for now.  

No chores have been completed today. Super uncharacteristically and much to Lucy's delight: I have not made the bed yet.  The laundry has been restarted; only because the A.D.D. forgot that it started it at 11:00 last night.   Rosie made a few passes vacuuming around the house at 5:30 this morning but even she gave up and went back to bed.

There's a to-do list on the counter that I've added to but subtracted nothing.  I have the requisite Christmas returns, a trip to buy a calendar and next years Christmas cards, and some regular errands.  They're all going to wait until tomorrow. Or the next day.  We'll see.

I'm getting used to using my reading glasses and realized an important benefit today: the rest of the world around me literally and actually blurs while I'm wearing them; taming the A.D.D. a bit.  I may have accidentally discovered another tool for focusing.  Now if I could just wear them everywhere with the same effect.

I need the sensory deprivation tank that this house is today.  

So, there's the update from the coziness that is my little house in the woods. I hope that whatever you find cozy and comforting has found you this week as well.

26 December 2020

Happy Boxing Day

 



The tradition of Boxing Day was originally intended to give servants the day off, tradesmen were given tips, and castoffs and money were given to the poor.  It's celebrated in a few countries, including our friends in Canada.

I was just mulling that this year, during Covid Christmas, it's perhaps a good idea for us to try to celebrate Boxing Day as well.  Not anything complicated: just be kind, be generous, be thoughtful.

We're almost through this gawdawful year.  We can do it.


17 December 2020

Communicating with Pictures

After a particularly frustrating email exchange with an advocate whom I don't enjoy, I realize how invaluable memes have become as a means of communication.  RUN-ON SENTENCE FOR THE WIN. It's so perfect that I'm not even considering changing it. Wait for it:

In an ironic twist, here is an example of an email from said not-enjoyable advocate:

"I see a Misty tomorrow Mindy do I need to get a new consent from her"

Yep. No punctuation, no grammar, no salutation or closing, no sense.  Super fun.  My name is neither of those names. Not even close enough to be considered an auto-correct.  I receive one of these emails weekly.

I only use the memes with my job partner and chosen advocates. There is an actual file saved on my desktop labelled "Reactions" chock full of memes.   Here are a bunch of examples, the first one was sent to my job partner in response to above email.







 

So, when everything is stressful and upside down, may I suggest using meme's as a communication device.  I find that it helps.  Breaks the monotony, it's fun to search for, and makes someone else laugh.  It's all winning, actually.

And I just realized that next time I can use my "Don't Call Me Peaches" photo as a response! Ha!

16 December 2020

I Blame Emily Gilmore

 This month has been challenging to me.  I know, I know: I am not the only one.  But I will usually tuck and roll with things pretty easily and I'm just...not, right now.

To be fair, I didn't feel good last week.  No, it's not the 'Rona.  I made two trips to the chiropractor because my skeleton was trying to become an exoskeleton.  Neat.

I was determined to be back to "normal" yesterday. Whatever that is.  

After working most of the day...or "working" as Kevin refers to it, I decided that I was going to make lasagna for dinner.  Before you get excited, remember that I cook like a sixth grader in home ec.  While it's no frozen lasagna, it is crockpot lasagna.  Pretty easy stuff.

I gathered everything up and started to put it together.  This is where I realize that I'm short two lasagna noodles.  Okay, no big deal.  I'll just make it smaller and we don't eat it all anyway. Thank you, universe for making me make smaller portions.

Then I was distracted by Emily Gilmore because I was watching the Gilmore Girls reboot.  She triggers me SO HARD.  Omg, she could be my mother. I forget that every time I start watching that show then I'm all GAAAHHHH.  This is where, I think, the wheels fell off this particular task

I made a small error, because distracted: I reversed the order on one of the layers and it was nothing that more cheese can't fix.  Cheese fixes everything.  But now I'm at strike two

Finished that, finished work, then sat down to finish that episode; which happened to have a lot of my mother Emily Gilmore. Kevin phoned and said he was on his way so I turned on the oven for garlic bread.  I thought about a salad and then I didn't.  I don't know why I was anti-salad.  I just was. Now shush, Mrs. Gilmore.

Kevin arrived home and I started setting the table, started cooking a vegetable, and was feeling pretty good about things.  The green beans were ready so I added a little bit of butter and what I thought was a little bit of garlic powder.  Nope, onion flakes.  SUPER.  Not a big deal overall but sheesh.

The table was set and everything was ready.  Then I remembered the garlic bread.  Opened the oven door and...nothing.  The oven had been on for about an hour.  For no reason.  Purely decorative.  

I might have cursed.  Kevin legit looked a little concerned.  "Bread and butter it is!!" I announced to no one while slamming the oven door closed.  I hear a quiet "I like bread and butter..." from Kevin as I then pouted in my chair at the table.

We ate dinner and it was good, despite the jumbled layer, extra cheese, onion flavor green beans, and invisible garlic bread.  I finished, waited for Kevin to finish then started clearing the table. (yes, I am a very 1950's wife.  He works eleventy hours a day)

And this is where I discovered that I had mandarin oranges draining in the sink.  We always have fruit at dinner.  OF COURSE I'd forgotten it. So, yeah.    

I don't believe that I've made the lasagna the same way, like, ever. This makes me a chef, right? Somewhere my middle school home ec teacher is shaking her head disapprovingly; just like in the 80's. Much like Emily Gilmore.

15 December 2020

Wakey Wakey

 It's 7:30 in the morning right now. 7:30. In the A.M.  The morning.  Not the P.M. There are TWO 7:30's in a day, who knew?

When I woke up this morning to send Kevin off to work, my brain suddenly fully booted, updated, and was all "Hey, let's be UP."  I'm all "No, man.  No thanks.  It's 5:30 in the morning."

But my brain was all circus music and jazz hands.  "Let's be UP. We have Things to Do."

But I'm still all "Hard Pass"

And my brain was all "Gmorning! Chachacha. Let's do STUFF"

I made a deal with my brain.  I stay up this morning with the promise of a nap later.  Naps are good.

And so now, it's 7:30 in the morning.  I've already showered, had coffee, wrote a few Christmas cards, Snapchatted my BFF, and watched an episode of NCIS.  What.Is.Happening.

Now there's the requisite Hallmark Christmas Movie playing, I've woken up the house, and made a few lists. Of course I made lists. It's like you don't know me at all.

I have to go into town today because Lucy insists on having food to eat every day. So needy.  I have to actually mail the Christmas cards or this is all for naught.  I'm supposed to take recycling but I'm weighing whether or not it can wait for Friday Walkies. I do want/need my glass breaking therapy though.  So, let's put that aside for now.  

Because Santa, I have to go into a store today.  Finally the family decided what Christmas is going to be.  We're getting presents for the kids, our spouses and one family member.  I'm done with the spouse and the one family member (Allie Brosh's new book) but not the kids. 

I'm doing a giftcard/subscription, t-shirt, and junk food giftbox for the big kids.  I'm getting actual toys for Five.  He requested "The Spongebob that I can tell to do things and he does them"  Once I finish my online engineering degree, that should be easy.  I also have to get a present and birthday present for my other nephew.  And mail it.  Challenge Level 1,000.

So, briskly rubbing my hands together.  I am on coffee #2 and thinking about getting coffee when I'm in town.  The movie is almost done and I can't find my stamps.  Because of course I can't.  I believe they are in my truck.  But I don't want to go look. I don't want to alert the parents this early in the morning or disturb Lucy from her early morning nap.  Maybe I'll just buy new ones.  

The house is finally satisfactorily frocked.  I wrapped Christmas lights around my desk and spent $cough on more beaded garlands.  I'm now looking for a Santa that isn't sparkly, not cloth, not wooden nor metal, that is about 6" high.  Then the house will be perfect. *shaking my head*  Also, don't search "vintage Christmas decorations" unless you want to run the gamut of human emotions.

And now...work has texted me.  Oh yeah, work.  I have to work too.  I have seven days left until Winter Break, which feels particularly ridiculous.  But it still requires my attention.  Sigh.  Time to move from the dining table to my office. *Pout*

Eight hours until nap.  Or whenever this alphabet brain realizes how early it made me start the day.


09 December 2020

Just Let Me Frock You, Dammit

 I believe that I complain write about this every year.  I don't understand what it is about this house that denies Christmas decorations.  It feels like the house actually shrugs the stuff off of itself, like a scratchy wool sweater.  I swear I can hear it sigh in resignation.  When decorations fall, I just mutter "I know" into the ether.

I don't get it.  It's CHRISTMAS.  Why is this house so Scrooge McDuck?

Our old house was old.  Old and tired.  But it PREENED in Christmas decorations.  This house is like Ralphie in the bunny suit:

(Also, we are ignoring that I bear a resemblance to Ralphie)

I have culled decorations that no longer hold meaning or fit in this house.  I've bought new/previously loved decorations.  I've tried going old school with scenes using figurines and decorations, and going magazine style with multi-purposing decorations.  

I browse through the pinterest and magazines to see easy, simple ways to decorate.  I've gone with ample use of bead garlands, lights, and ornaments used as decorations.  I use holiday color - not themed - table runners and place mats. The requisite candles. Holiday air freshener.  Lights. Lots of lights.

Kevin is of no help. He doesn't enjoy clutter so this holiday is challenging to him. He just doesn't want to be punched in the nose by Santa in his own home.  Or have extraneous noise like bells on the doors. That being said, he just doesn't care as long as I'm happy.

So then I was thinking.  The Moody House - the parents old house - was decorated to the rafters.  There wasn't a surface that wasn't Santa-tized. (see what I did there?)  Maybe that's why he doesn't enjoy it. 
 
Then I thought about my parents house.  My dad had a propensity for Charlie Brown Christmas Trees.  You think I'm kidding and I am so not. Tall, spindly, thin, widely space branches.  I can't find a photo except this one:

The random branch is indicative of the ENTIRE TREE

 My mom decorated the living room and the kitchen.  She went for more of a vignette style; sled with reindeers with "snow", nativity scene, candles.  You can see the sculpture of Mary next to my brother's elbow.  I vaguely remember it but am very surprised it was allowed by my dad.  But it's next to a nativity scene so there's that.

I guess, then, that I'm a happy medium between both of the moms in our family.  But our tree is almost always epic:

7.5 feet


And maybe.  Just maybe, I overthink it too much.  

Like this.  The configuration of the candles along the bathtub make me go "Hmmm" every time I look at them:

Different types, styles, and sizes. The OCD is intrigued.


It also has to be said that upon beginning to write this, I was in a FULL MOOD.  Mood like "Stop narcing out Mommy, Michael Jackson" to the Sirius/XM Christmas channel.  Mood like took a nap.  Mood like Ralphie's expression above.

Oh and while we're at it.  Here is proof of the resemblance:

The photographer called me "Peaches".
Don't call me Peaches.




05 December 2020

You Don't Really Need It

Tagging onto Angela's comment on the previous "People's Choice Awards" post to tell more about the IRS travails; here is the status of that.  NO.  That is the status.

As a reminder, here is the reference:

 How the IRS website says that Kevin doesn't exist and the only way to prove it is to send a form with his actual drivers license to them?  I mean, what could possibly go wrong there?  Oh, and there is literally a section that says "Do you REALLY need a new card?  Really?"

Or further back: how I couldn't activate his debit card because my alphabet brain has the wrong social number for him on record.  The bank needs the original card to change it.  The original card that I can't find anywhere and apparently can never be replaced again.

If you search "How to replace a social security card" it sounds so easy.  Click here, complete this form, easy peasy. LIARS.

Firstly, it actually says this:

Sigh


I created an account for him, I went through the process.  It sent me a text link to upload his license. And it didn't work.  Okay, then enter in your financial info.  This is where I get a little squinty.  It's connected to Equifax.  This seems...not cool.  But I digress.

I enter his financial information.  And....NO.

Enter it again.  He has a nickname so maybe it is his nickname and not his legal name.  Nope.

AND...I'm locked out of his account.

I don't think they're sorry, actually

In the meanwhile, I can look at all his information, I can change it.  I can see what is "saved" and when he can retire.  I can see all.the.things.  But can I get a silly little piece of paper? NO.

Not to be daunted, because Hello, Hi, it's me.  I phoned someone.  An actual human.  GASP. They do exist.  You have to wait nearly ten minutes on hold but there are actual humans who answer the phone. Eventually.

AND...he sounded like my dad.  A Korean war vet, whom I'm sure had a cigarette, coffee with whiskey, and a Western movie playing in the background.  Maybe a cat.

This is what you do, he says, You ignore the website.  It doesn't work.

WUT.

Oh, and at this point Kevin is standing with me because he had to give his information to the gentleman.  Commence Kevin spinning dafaq out. This is going so well, really. So WELL.

The gentleman had me go to a different website and this where you print the paper application. Paper.

AND THEN, you MAIL it to the local office.  With, like, stamps and stuff.

Here's the kicker though: you have to include your ORIGINAL identification.  In this case, a driver's license.  Really, what could possibly go wrong there?  This process has been so efficient and reliable up until this point.  PIECE OF CAKE.

Now, this is where I say that we both have what they call enhanced licenses.  This is like having a mini-passport.  We can cross into Canada and skip TSA with these.  To complicate it even more, Kevin has a Commercial Drivers License for work.  He cannot be without it. 

So, this is where I stopped.  I'm not sending his ID in the mail and waiting 7-10 days for the government to process this, during the holidays, during the pandemic, during this current administration.

I did, however, try again just now and...locked myself out of his account again.

I will continue to search for his card in my desk.  I am positive that it is somewhere absolutely stupid.  Like in our tax returns or stuck to the back of something or in the address book.  I will find it.  

Or I will wait until 2022 to replace it.  Because the government actually tells me I don't need it.  Until I do.













30 November 2020

People's Choice Awards

 So, I have a bunch of unfinished drafts in my folder again.  I'm just going to toss them here, all in one post.

Do you want to hear about

How I fell (again) on the outside stairs (again) and most likely broke my tailbone?  AFTER reminding myself that the stairs were slick and I fell last time?

How when I asked my m-i-l if she wanted me to pick up pizza for her for Monday Night Football (#GoHawks) and she said no because my f-i-l is picking up chicken. BUT she'd like to have it for Tomorrow Night?

How I took Lucy for walkies TWICE in three days in my truck; leaving it in an unholy mess that took an hour to clean? And now it smells like the Stratosphere in Las Vegas?

How Kevin keeps getting spam calls and keeps worrying about it every.single.time EVEN THOUGH I've explained it to him ELEVENTY times that folks seeking legal action don't use automated- sounds like it was recorded on a phonograph - messages to your voicemail.  Oh, and STOP ANSWERING THE DAMN CALLS.  It shows your phone as an active phone and the cycle continues.  Just STAHP, ftlog.

How my mother said "We're going to see how it goes" in response to them having ten people in her tiny house for Thanksgiving?  To which I said "It could turn out that someone gets sick and dies alone in a hospital."

How a few months ago I got hilariously called out on social media by our tuner friend to a national television announcer, as a stalker?  


How I discovered that we needed a new oven by serving half-baked - at best - cornbread, after complaining that the oven didn't work when it burnt another dinner nearly beyond recognition.  No, it wasn't me This TIME.

How I asked our new coffee friend if she had hats (for sale) and she was all "Umm, yeah, I have a cat..."
like I was some kind of weirdo, clairvoyant, cat lady.  Making me laugh until I'm crying and trying to do the ASL sign for hat to clarify, which was not helpful at all.

How the IRS website says that Kevin doesn't exist and the only way to prove it is to send a form with his actual drivers license to them?  I mean, what could possibly go wrong there?  Oh, and there is literally a section that says "Do you REALLY need a new card?  Really?"

And then how I found a $16.42 refund check at the bottom of the desk, underneath the drawers while looking for the social security card?  And that: big surprise, I hoard envelopes.  AND that it occurred to me to look under the drawers at 2:00 in the morning and it took everything in me to resist not getting up to disassemble my desk?  (P.S. it wasn't there either)

Okay, now I feel better.  And the drafts folder is a little lighter. 



22 November 2020

What's In the Box?

Every year, EVERY.YEAR, about this time, we have the same conversation with my in-laws and this year is no exception.  Except, it's earlier.  Every.Year.

"We can't find all of our stuff."

We store their Christmas decorations in Monica's Closet.  It used to be three totes and now it's consolidated into one large tote.  This, I believe, is where the wheels fall off. My mother-in-law remembers when she had a lot of decorations and forgets that two years ago she decided to give stuff away.  Also, that my father-in-law puts things into their pantry/laundry room outbuilding and there they remain lost forever.  

Sidenote: remember years ago I told the story of the young nephews having wedding and Transformer wrapping on their Christmas presents? No? Okay, short story:  I put all of the parents Christmas wrapping behind my office door. They live in a tiny house and it was kept over here until they needed it. I explained it just like that: Your wrapping is behind my office door.  Did that work? Nope.

My f-i-l went into my office, moved a rocking chair, got into Monica's Closet and dug out my big green tote of wrapping paper.  Wrapping paper that had zero Christmas wrapping paper because I store that separately.  Where is that tote now? Still in their outbuilding.  Where is their Christmas wrapping paper? In Monica's Closet. I know this because she is the only person who buys blue or pink Christmas wrapping.

Whew, that was longer than I meant to be. But: context.

This morning my phone rings and it's my m-i-l, looking for a tote that has their lights in it. It's a tote with a cracked lid that she hates, she explains helpfully, every  year.  A tote that I got rid of years ago because of the cracked lid that she hates.  I explain that we don't have it, that we got rid of that tote, and that she consolidated all of her stuff.  No, I'm wrong. It's over here.  *deep breath*

Okay, one more sidenote:  This is where Kevin got to experience the specific crazy-making that is the parents when they are spun out over something simple.  I mean, he's experienced it but not in real time like today.  Usually it's over the phone or after something has happened.  This nonsense usually happens on my watch.

I explained to Kevin that we had our traditional, annual conversation of We Can't Find Our Stuff.  He asked if I knew for sure that we didn't have it.  (Taking no offense because he lives with me.)  I explained that he could blindfold me and I could identify every item in Monica's Closet.  

Also, I am confident because: history shows it. Years ago, they put their interior Christmas lights in a different box and stored it somewhere.  This prompted the "We Can't Find Our Stuff" conversation that resulted in me giving them MY LIGHTS so that the conversation would just stop for the love of all that is holy.  I am one hundred percent certain that THAT BOX is somewhere over there too.  Yes, it is enabling and codependent but I just wanted the lambs to stop screaming, Clarice.

He went next door to talk to the elderly crazy people.  Fifteen minutes later, he returns with his hair on fire.  "Are you SURE?"  Yep.  "Show me"  Okay, you wanna go? Let's go.  

I open Monica's Closet and touch every box, explaining what is inside.  He remains skeptical: "You wouldn't have put their stuff with ours?"  No, I reply, because I'm not CRAZY.  I made the decision to pull out the Christmas boxes even though I had ZERO INTENTION of doing that today.  Now I'M in it.

Open one box: "This is the kitchen stuff.  It's divided up by room because your wife has ISSUES."  Open the next box: "This is my work decorations and some leftover stuff"  Open the next box: "This is everything else"

Yes, three boxes of just decorations. Shush.  You mind your ownself. 

Satisfied, yet not, he heads back over to the asylum. After ten minutes he returns, successful yet annoyed.  "Found it." 

"I know" I replied.  

"It was in the laundry room.  In an unmarked CARDBOARD box on a high shelf"  

Did either of them confess, apologize or explain? Nope.  It is the Great Unsolved Mystery of how that box got out there.  

I asked Kevin "Did you see my wrapping paper tote?"  He asked what it looked like and I explained that it's green, long and narrow.  Yes, it is still in there.  "Do you want me to go get it?"  NOPE.  There is zero stuff in there I want at this point and it's one less thing in Monica's Closet.  And it gives me a little glee that they have something of MINE that they will deny having.

Tune in this time next year for a similar version of "We Can't Find Our Stuff".