31 January 2012
I am also tired of Jennifer Hudson. Well, not necessarily her but the company she now shills for. Although I've never been a fan, even back in the American Idol days. She just comes across as rude and condescending to me. That's not my point. I feel like the commercials are just misrepresentation.
She went from sixteen years old to an adult. From a poor kid to someone who can afford all resources one needs, and she had twins. What's the average weight gain with twins? Oh, and she experienced a seriously unbelievably devastating personal crisis. Gosh, I wonder how in the world she could have lost all that weight without the help of that weight loss company.
Or let me go a little further with that: Weight Loss Companies marketing using celebrities that just lost 30 lbs with their program. The catch? They just had a baby. What's the average weight loss after pregnancy? Usually 10-30 lbs.
My far away friend CK mentioned the other day the pet peeve of the use of "over" instead of "more than". Two that make me crazy is "towards" instead of "toward" and "to try and *verb*" As in "...to try and make the cake." No, it's "...to try TO make the cake."
One girly rant, which I never do, I have pre-menopausal PMS. I have never, ever, had any symptoms before. Now it's like textbook plus middle of the night hot flashes. WTF is that all about? I know unreasonableness is a symptom but seriously: WTF.
There are two plot points I don't understand in movies. The symbolic throwing of jewelry into water. I just see it as so wasteful and pointless. (I just watched Titanic, in case you need an example).
The other being is when there is an impasse in a relationship then one simply allows the other to walk away without a word. No "Don't Go", no chasing after, nothing. So not real life.
Toilet Paper Commercials. I just...they're just...sigh...Make them stop.
People on cell phones in public areas. Do they think that no one else can hear them? I just want to shout "I Can Hear You!" Or answering their phones while you're talking to them (as in clients, not as in friends but that's annoying as well. I love the idea of everyone putting their cell phones in the center of the table and the first to look at their phone buys dinner. )
Okay, I feel better. Your turn to be Andy Rooney.
27 January 2012
SLATE has put up a contest to post three pictures that depicts a love story. Here, I will use their words instead of mine:
Here is mine. My in-laws have a sign in their house that says "All because two people fell in love"
|Kevin's Parents 1957|
|My Parents Wedding Day 1956|
|Our Wedding 1993|
26 January 2012
uncontrollable blood pressure
plaque on the brain
So, yeah. Fun. A big change in all of our lives.
Kevin, myself and the brother-in-law go to the dark side of humor when things like this happen. We use humor to get through and are thusly awful.
One of the moments that made me laugh until tears is while we were in the waiting room. A woman walked toward us dressed in a bomber jacket, blue-blocker sunglasses, Harrahs Las Vegas sweatshirt, sneakers, and jeans. She clearly had stuff going on. She passed us and when she was out of earshot, Kevin says:
"She used to be a Japanese zero pilot.
I knew that things were bad when my sister-in-law lost patience. She never loses her cool. Never. And she has PLENTY of reasons to in her life. This last trip to the hospital there was a whistler in the waiting room. We're all tired, stressed, and had-enough. T is quietly knitting and begins muttering "It wouldn't be so bad if Someone would stop WHISTLING!" This starts me giggling and Kevin's sarcasm flipped into high gear.
Oh, and I nearly forgot the European lady whose husband was in ICU. She interrupted our nurse in the m-i-l's room because her husband's bed needed adjusting. The nurse actually said "Oh, no she did not!" and chased her out. Unfortunately Mrs. Not From Here walked to the m-i-l's door and stood while on the PHONE. I got into touch with my inner black girl saying "Oh HELL NO" and walked up to her. "You. Need. To. Walk. Away. Right. Now. K. Please. THANKS."
We didn't see her again.
This is the latest one. With all the aforementioned health concerns, the in-laws lifestyles need to change dramatically. Kevin's mom is a snacker and salt addict, which she will deny to her dying day.
But if she ever tries to deny it again. I have this:
|This is a full-size laundry basket full of snacks that were located AROUND HER RECLINER. Just around her RECLINER.|
If you don't laugh, you'll never survive this life.
25 January 2012
We were blessed with Julie, who brought the YWCA from turmoil and downturn into a thriving place that continues to grow. Julie showed us tenacity.
Nope, there is not just one woman who is inspirational here at the YWCA. There is an entire community.
22 January 2012
I just finished the latest Oprah magazine. It featured an article about Six Word Autobiographies: State your life in six words.
I read all of them and liked most of them. My favorite was "Reads like a Monty Python sketch."
I thought about mine but the one I like is seven words and a U2 lyric: I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Finally I figured it out. At least until I think of the perfect one (as soon as I press publish)
I'm just along for the ride.
What's your six words?
21 January 2012
19 January 2012
With that, I'm sharing a quick funny story and calling it a day.
We laughed at Modern Family where Lilly cursed profusely because we just experienced that with Girl Little.
The kids were sledding for the fourth time in two days. Girl Little didn't want to because she didn't have gloves and she was just kind of over it.
As she went down the stairs to play in the snow she casually states:
"I'm a pussy because I don't want to go sleighing."
Kevin & I were stunned into hysterical silence. We knew we couldn't laugh nor scold so we just tried to be nonchalant and nod understandingly.
As soon as we turned away, however, we busted out.
(PS..."Sleighing" is sledding. We don't know where sleighing came from)
To add to the funny of this story, this is the angel with the potty mouth:
17 January 2012
15 January 2012
She gets sick every January and it invariably turns into pneumonia. We thought it was that again this year but it seems like they're having a difficult time putting their finger on a diagnosis this time. No fluid in the lungs = no pneumonia, no shadows on the lung x-rays = no cancer, yet she was in respiratory failure.
She's on steroids, antibiotics, iv fluids, and occasionally on oxygen. It seems like every time they back the respiratory medicine off, she struggles.
So that's fun.
We have been talking about how she's been failing in health. We've been slowly wading into the "How are we going to do this" waters. Now we are being shoved into the deep end of the pool and can't ignore it any longer.
Even Kevin's dad has come to the realization that this is it. To quote Grey's Anatomy (strangely) he's realized that there are a lot more yesterdays now than there are tomorrows.
We have to think about dividing up chores...who's going to clean the house and help cook. Who is going to begin going to doctor's appointments, every single time. Who is going to help pay the bills. And lots of other tasks that we aren't going to think of until they are needed done.
Included in all this is keeping an eye on Kevin's dad so that he doesn't overdo it. He's so healthy that a person easily forgets that he's 75 years old. Last weekend he spent both days working on the racecar with Kevin like one of the young guys.
So, that is what is on our minds right now. We are unsure when she is coming home and what care will be necessary upon her return.
One more movie quote before I go: the scene in While You Were Sleeping when Jack tells his father he doesn't want the family business. The father says "Just now, right this moment, everyone's healthy, everyone's happy." Jack tells him "I'm sorry but it's not this moment." That is what New Years Eve felt to us as the new year rang in.
13 January 2012
The new job duties have been fun, so far. Not fun as in confetti canons and dancing bears but fun as in Stuff I'm Good At and Stuff I'm Not So Good At But It's Not Frustrating.
My new boss has turned out to be a fun person to work for. She reminds me from time to time of Melissa McCarthy. She doesn't curse in front of us but claims that she does curse. When/if she ever actually does, I am simply going to give her a ten dollar bill because it's going to be epic.
She doles out support and sympathy and discipline in a fair, straightforward way. I can sadly say that I've not experienced that in a consistent way before. It's lovely.
So what's the problem, you're asking. Co-workers. To quote Samuel L Jackson: Mother Effing Coworkers.
A tiny caveat: my office is the main office thus the hub of activity.
That being said:
One co-worker will actually go behind my desk to look out the window. She is sometimes spying on clients (in a good way) but sometimes she's just looking out the G.D. window. It got so bad that in a desperate psychological warfare tactic, I moved my desk incrementally to make the pathway narrow & not as accessible. (I know, I am evil)
Today, as I'm working on a deadline and with HEADPHONES ON...bright yellow ones at that...she kept trying to talk to me about nothing really. That's simply annoying until she takes the picture & tchotchke off my printer/scanner to make a copy "Because I can't figure out my printer. Or it's broken. Probably broken."
DEADLINE. HEADPHONES. You have your own PRINTER. GET OUT OF MY SPACE!
To add to the pressure of the deadline, my boss was at a regional meeting (yes, very Dundler Mifflin) all day so that just left myself and the co-worker.
BECAUSE our other coworker suddenly had to go to Seattle today because it's supposed to snow on Monday. She had to take an emergency day off to go to what I suspect is IKEA. Yes, an IKEA emergency. Never mind that it's not supposed to snow until Sunday evening, leaving um, let's see...Saturday and Sunday. Days she already had off.
I guess I should be grateful that I had a fairly quiet day. Most days, there are constant stream of interruptions. Again, I understand that the location of my office is unfortunate and not a good match for meeting deadlines or avoiding interruptions.
In the end, it's not the new job that is stressing me out. It's the coworkers. I use creative visualization to cope with the irritation: imagining spraying them with water sprayers, shooting nerf guns, throwing staplers.
I'm afraid it's going to denigrate to me shouting "SERIOUSLY!?!" at an inopportune moment.
09 January 2012
I never used the word prior to that and I don't use it now. I don't even use it to describe him anymore. In fact, I used it just the other day and Kevin was all "Wait, what?"
How I came about "knowing" the word was my old roommate, Jeff. He lived with us for a little over a year I think. (Married 18 mos. so you can see how successful we were from the start)
There were two things I loved to do with Jeff...no, not *that*....watch B movies and grocery shop. He made both entertaining and educational.
One afternoon we went to the grocery store. We parked next to a car that had three young children in it, the eldest being maybe six years old. This surprised and annoyed the both of us.
Jeff asked the boys what they were doing and they said "Waiting for mommy." He somehow figured out that they hadn't been in the car long and that mommy was coming right back.
Then somehow the conversation turned to calling each other boneheads, as boys are wont to do. It just made me giggle that he had this car filled with boys laughing and saying "bonehead, bonehead, bonehead!"
The best part was the last thing he said to them: "And when Mommy comes back? SHE'S a Bonehead!!!"
All I could imagine was this probably harried mom coming out to a car full of boys chanting "Mommy's a bonehead, Mommy's a bonehead!"
So, Bonehead...feel free to use it as you please. It fits many different situations.
07 January 2012
I accepted this job on a whim, not particularly interested in the mission nor aware of what all the program offered. I had another job at the time that was cake but I apparently lost my mind and accepted it.
I accepted it on the basis that it was flexible (bwahahahaa) and low-key. (double bwahahahaha)
The other day I actually said "This isn't what my life used to look like!!" then I immediately realized how silly that was. Well, of course it isn't. Duh.
There are a few things that have recently tripped me up a bit:
I was offered my own company debit card. This makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it. I know, I already do a lot of money stuff so this should be easy but still. Then today I ordered a business account COSTCO card with an attached AM-EX card as well. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Letting go of tasks for someone else to do is a struggle for me. It's taking me a little time to realize that I am going to have Important Stuff to Do and in order to accomplish that, I need to let other things go. I've become so used to having time to do everything that not having time for everything is disconcerting. (goodbye days of watching television online)
On the reverse of that, my coworkers are going to have to learn that I am no longer at their beck & call. For this, I may need a spray bottle. (imagine: training cats)
I know but have rediscovered that I tend to think in-the-moment and not in the future. I think it comes from being the youngest child, a Sagittarius, and a child of alcoholics. I need to learn to think a little further ahead. I don't enjoy deadlines but I find that without them, I might not ever finish anything in a timely manner. (hello finished, unpublished novel and other unfinished novels)
It's time to just say yes, I guess. (so confidently stated, really, wasn't that?) No matter what, I need to try to say yes. And follow through. And consider deadlines. And learn to say "Not right now". And not to throw office supplies at coworkers.
Yeah, that's a lot to learn. I can't promise on that last one.
05 January 2012
04 January 2012
I've been back at work for 6.5 hours and this, this is where I am: