29 August 2011

25 August 2011

Useless Celebrity Talk Because My Brain is Full

I don't know about you but I call BS on Will & Jada Smiths statement that their marriage is intact. Intact? Could they have used a worse word?

I like Drew Barrymore's hair that auburn color that she has on the commercials right now.

I have decided that Kim Kardashian is going to be the next Erica Kane.

Life As We Know It is actually a very good movie and I'm not a Katherine Heigl fan. Plus Josh Duhamel? Hello?

Will the Beckhams please continue to post pictures of themselves daily?

Let's hear it for Kate Winslet, carrying a 90 yr old woman out of a burning building and Not on a movie set.

I think Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck should have many babies, they make such cute ones. They are on my list of couples I would be very disappointed if they ever split.

Okay, I know I will think of something as soon as I click "publish" but it's time for me to go do the dishes, laundry, etc. You know, all the glamorous stuff.

What's your celebrity gossip?

23 August 2011

I Work at Dundler Mifflin

I struggled with the name of this post. "And so it continues" "I swear this is true" or "Banging My Head on the Desk"

Last month, I think- it's a blur now, I worked on two documents for a federal grant, they were part of one of the three inspections that happened.

One repair has been lingering, refusing silently to be repaired.  I have been bothering my retiring-in-five-days boss to make progress on this.  Even saying "My name is on this so I want to get it finished"  She assured me that they don't follow up and we would be fine until this time next year.

Sure as the sky is blue, they contacted us.  That's not the bad part.

You may call me a liar but I swear this is true.

They contacted my boss via email stating that there was a deficiency in the report and listed what needed to be corrected.  My boss INTENDED to forward it to me.

She didn't.  She REPLIED.

"I guess they are following through now.  At least she didn't ask about the ceiling repair."


The person replied back to her and stated "I am sure that I was not the intended recipient but now that you mention it, where are we at with the repair?"

*banging my head on my desk*

As I was telling Kevin this over dinner he is Incredulous.  He might have implied that I was just making sh*t up now.  "It's like a sitcom moment.  The only thing missing is you breaking into her office to erase the email that was sent on accident!"

This, sadly, isn't the worst part of the day.  The Geek Squad dropped the 60" flatscreen television for the media center today.  It is so broken.

I work at Dundler Mifflin.  Yeah, that's the perfect title.

22 August 2011

What I Like About the Hospital

There are few things to like about the hospital.  Rarely is anyone there for a good reason.  Sometimes, sure, it's the birth of a baby but mostly it's accidents and illness.

We were hanging out at the hospital tonight, because that's where all the cool kids hang out now.  I realized that crammed into this hospital room we were required to sit quietly and just visit.  No presents, no kids, everyone on their best behavior.  Other than the terribly sick guy in the bed, it was a nice visit.

I like the camaraderie. Other visitors seem to band together in sympathy and empathy. Quick nods and quiet smiles often turn to polite conversations. If you spend an extended period of time, you begin to form a little team.

When my dad was in & out of the hospital the best advice I received was to be nice to the nursing staff. It makes a big difference for everyone.

The good thing about hospitals is it teaches us one more way to be a family

21 August 2011

Perhaps I Have Issues

This is Kevin's side of the closet.  This is just his work clothes.  His nice clothes are on the right and are just as organized.

It's probably bad that it bothers me a bit that the hangers don't match, isn't it?  Yeah, I thought so too.

20 August 2011

They Broke My Heart

The Nephew was in the hospital earlier this week for complications with Crohns.  He ended up spending three days there and still isn't well.  This happens annually, it seems. Thanks a lot, Crohns.

We visited him in the evening one night even though he was a little zoomy from all the meds.  The Fiancee arrived once my sister-in-law could take care of the kids.  I don't think The Fiancee has experienced this part of the Crohns yet.  I think the last hospitalization was right before they met.  Anyway.

It was like a hit to the stomach to see her come into the room, see The Nephew, then watch for a flicker of a second her heart break.  She checked herself almost immediately, literally put her shoulders back, then acted like it was perfectly normal that we were in the hospital room with a very sick 26 year old. 

You would think of the eleventy people in this family it would be Kevin's parents in the hospital.  Or an ER trip for one of the kids.  It makes no sense in this universe that The Nephew is the unlucky one.

Anyway, we visited together for a few minutes as The Fiancee does what every spouse does when their loved one is in the hospital: bringing supplies, straightened the room, straightened the bed.  Only after that did she sit on the bed to visit.

As we were making our way to leave, I happened to catch The Nephew stretch out his hand and grasp hers with a look of love and misery.  They shared a moment that couples experience only in those times. 

They broke my heart.

19 August 2011

Quote of the Day

"When people show you who they are believe them."
Oprah Winfrey

18 August 2011

My Eyes! My Eyes!

I had my annual eye exam today. I knew it was going to be challenging just because I knew my eyes had changed.

I love my eye doctor.  He is so thorough, he does everything but take your eyes out & rinse them in the sink.

He started the appointment with a This Day In History.  Turns out I had set the appointment exactly to the day one year from my last appointment.   Yes, I am weird like that but it wasn't on purpose.

He kept prodding my left eye, the one I actually see with.  Because it was first thing in the morning, I hadn't had coffee, and hello? my life lately, I began swirling the drain.  So not like me.  But he was paying so much attention to my left eye I was starting to squirm.

Turns out, I had managed to scratch the lens of my eye.  Nice.  Well done me.  Do I have any idea of how I did it?  Of course not.  Now I have medicine for the night and it's ointment.  Sigh.  Ointment.

My only complaint with this doctor is there is also an optical store so the full court press is on after the appointment.  But they're expensive.  But their inventory is really nice.  I just could never justify $500 on a pair of glasses. 

Insurance, which I am grateful for, only pays every other year and "only" $250.  Because I wear Progressives with trifocal lenses, that just covers most of the lenses and That's It.

I went to Lenscrafters because I wanted to a) use my frames and b) not wait a week.  I haven't been there in years because I used a discount place near my work.  The problem with using them is I would have to buy frames.  And, really, you get what you pay for.

Meanwhile, Lenscrafters doesn't take my insurance.  Who doesn't take Group Health?  WTH Lenscrafters?  But they can submit a claim so I am reimbursed.  They were also having a sale but even with that I was going to be $200 to get out the door.  So, not so much.

I did the mature thing and went to the grocery store.  I finally submitted to the doughnut craving (glazed chocolate, cream filling)  and phoned Kevin to whine.  He was great "You'll figure it out" paired with helpful suggestions.  Oh and "How the hell did you scratch your eye!?!?!"

I did an errand then remembered that I went to one store to have them put lenses into an old frame.  They don't have same day service but they could measure my frames so I could keep them.   The angels sung. 

I could do anti-glare.  I could do transition lenses (sunglasses) and have mid-range lenses (instead of on-the-cheap) for only $115 out of pocket.  They'll be ready in seven days.

Relieved Sigh.

Let's hear it for shopping local!!!!  The chains couldn't get it done. 

17 August 2011

News & Notes

I ended my workday with a client having a seizure. I tell you: I am starting to take this personally.

I ended this evening with The Nephew in the hospital with complications from The Crohns. He may be released tomorrow but they are not sure yet.

So tonight is a perfect night to trim my bangs right?

The birthday books were a big hit I am happy to announce. Thank you for the support!

The Littles begin Kindergarten in a few weeks. Medication please. I have offered to help with clothes. Consignment stores here I come! Any suggestions?

I am still craving doughnuts. That's all.

I am trying Earth Shoes this week. They have a negative heel. I am not sure about them
They are black,of course, and maryjanes. My Danskos are nearly worn out. One shoe squeaks which is annoying. I am going to take them to the Russian cobbler in hopes of a miracle.

I am in a committed relationship with Tressemme now. My hair is blonde again so all is right in hair world again.

I hope everyone has a good rest of week!

15 August 2011

Get Out of My Bed

One of the suggestions that I read about insomnia was to focus on what might be keeping you awake.  Theoretically it is supposed to allow your brain to have a thought and move on.  Kind of like (reportedly) singing a song aloud will cure and earworm.

Identifying what you're doing:  Are you awfulizing?  (making things worse than they are by assuming the worst conclusion)  Are you  obsessing?  or are you just overthinking things.

Another piece of advice that I thought made really good sense is the no financial talk, work, or thinking in the bedroom.  It's a place dedicated for rest and love so bad news or thinking about finances should never take place there.  This isn't easy.  I've tried it and sometimes it works. 

Anyway, work has been making me batsh*t lately.  I found myself obsessing about it; making lists and writing scripts of what I want to say.  The passive-aggressive coworker has been wearing on my very last nerve to the point of walking out of the room when she enters. 

While I was trying to coach myself through this problem, I started to laugh at myself.  I wasn't following the above advice.  I was allowing this negative influence into our bedroom.  I actually told myself "I am letting *persons name* in my bed. Get of my bed!"

Just that realization and little joke allowed me to relax and go to sleep.

Who are you allowing in your bed?

13 August 2011

I Need a Snow Day

I need a day where I, and by extension everyone, is forced to just stay home. Do nothing and have no place to go.  Just one day.

I really didn't realize how tired I am until today.  Today I was demotivated.  No enthusiasm. No drive.  It took everything I have to stand up.  One might suspect that Sneaky Little Bastard had come to play or hormones were at work.  No, I think I would welcome that kind of tiredness.

I need just one weekday (read: workday) to go somewhat as planned. In the same neighborhood as planned.  You know what?  Just the same country as planned is acceptable.

Earlier this week I made a joke about arson.  In actuality it wasn't a joke.  A client set one of the garbage can
 in the resident kitchen on fire then made it near impossible for the security person to extinguish it. 

Yeah. Out of all the things that have happened on my watch over the past ninety days this tops it.  A freaking act of arson. 


I cancelled my August vacation because the new boss has not started yet and there is simply no back-up for me to not be there.  I am instead taking a long weekend next weekend and being bitter about it.

It's not all bad.  I hired a new janitor this week who is So Good at her job that I want to cry watching her work.  My old boss told a meddling (passive-aggressive) co-worker that "You must not have enough to do if you're so concerned with what she's doing so HERE." AND provided a list of tasks.  I will admit the youngest child in me stuck out her tongue in the general direction of the pain in the ass coworker upon reading that.

Three more weeks and I have a life again. Three more weeks and it will be a whole new ballgame.  September is starting to feel like the beginning of school to me.  Just without the new clothes.

In the meanwhile, I need a snow day.

12 August 2011


My grand-nephews birthday is this week and the party is Sunday.  He's the original grand nephew, my niece's son.  He's also my godson.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, he's socially awkward.  He's home-schooled which isn't helping the situation at all.

He is difficult to buy for because he tends to want toys younger than  his age. To add to the difficulty level, his mom is notorious in announcing Every Single Time "Oh, he has that one already. We'll take it back"  So cringey and unnecessary.

Turns out that he's a very good reader.  He's 8 and reads at a middle school level.  He enjoys the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, being a bit of a misfit himself.

I went to the local bookstore Village Books, which is like sending an addict to a crack house.  I love this store SO MUCH that I don't go often for fear of having to live in a house built of the books I've purchased.  It has a gift shop attached that will wrap your purchases for free.  It's such a great place.  I mean, look at it:

Anyway, it's tough to find books for that age.  It's easy to go too young or too old.  I saw lots of titles that I read as a child.  I was tempted to buy them to read again.  It's also interesting to read the writing.  There were a handful of books that just wasn't written very well.  Or the premise was terrible. Did you know there is a series of books that the kids die in a freak accident and go  to Heck?  Oh my Gah.

There are, of course, Wimpy Kids knock-offs that I passed by.  I found a few books that seemed pretty good. But I kept browsing because hello? bookstore!!!!

I found these books just as I had given up.  They sound so good that I might read them as well.  I took them to the checkout counter and quizzed the cashier. I explained that he was a socially awkward young boy who was a really good reader.  I was looking for something like Wimpy Kid but not trendy.   To my surprise she said that these books were perfect.

It seems that the characters are kind of misfits.  They set out on an adventure and have to use what makes them different to solve the issues that they encounter along the way.  The weirdness of them turns out to be like a superpower.

I love thinking of personality traits like that.  It makes them more bearable, I guess.

11 August 2011

Photo of the Day

Boy Littles and Kevin fixing one of the bikes.
I love that Lucky the Dog photo-bombed the picture.

10 August 2011

News & Notes

I watched the littles for about two hours last night.  I think I am still not fully recovered.  They are angels, so not a problem amongst them, but there's THREE of them.  And they match

This week's adventure at work included arson.  So top that, poppets.

My coworker is going on a date tonight for the first time in a long time.  She asked me what to wear.  a) if you know me in real life, you just laughed out loud and 2) I told her "I haven't been on a date in....20 years!"  Holy cow.  20 years.  I am old.

My brother's exwife is on facebook and friended the girls.  I find it interesting that her profile is a glamour shot that makes her look 20 when she's in her mid-fifties.  At least she finally stopped using her married name.  I always thought that was strange as they weren't married for long.

There's talk that Dirty Dancing is going to be remade.  Patrick Swayze just spun in his grave. (if I knew any dance move names, I would have totally used it there. )  For those of us that watched it in the theatres, we know it was a cheezy movie to begin with.  I can only imagine what a remake will be like.

The song/earworm game continues on the twitter.  @mayhewp posted Billy Joel lyrics throughout the day yesterday but I was busy and didn't see them.  I commented that I missed out on all the fun so he started up again this morning. Then I posted the first few verses of Big Shot and he replied:   
isn't that the cadillac-ack-ack-ack song?

So now it will forever be known as the cadillac-ack-ack song. Gawd  I love the internet.

08 August 2011

Crimes Against Humanity

I haven't done this post in a while.  My work has a boutique which offers free clothing for women.  It is completely stocked with donated clothes.  One of the fun jobs of the boutique is sorting through all of the donations.  Sometimes we get items with the price tags still attached, that you can't believe that it is being donated.  Sometimes we get grandma's polyester and bedazzled kitty sweatshirts.

Today, on a Monday that specifically sucked, came in a treasure trove of delight.

You think you're ready but you're not.

The skirt is gold lame.  Sing it with me: "At the Copa. Copacabana..."

If Spiderman was a cross-dresser.  Or a member of the Partridge Family.

 It's made of swimsuit material. No word of a lie, I couldn't make this up.

It's a Members Only, specially embroidered jacket.  How can you resist?

Green. Pleather. Culottes. Enough said.

Thank You 1980's for the entertainment.

07 August 2011

06 August 2011


I am not a hugger.  I'm not necessarily an affectionate person.  Well, let's say that I choose my people slowly and wisely.  The littles, of course, I show lots of affection.  Kevin, clearly.  I hug my nephew.  Sometimes my nieces.

But that's pretty much it.

I wasn't raised in an affectionate family.  We don't hug, we don't touch, we don't cry.  We don't.

At Kevin's birthday party, my mom was getting ready to leave.  She hugged other members of the family, or Kev's family I should clarify.  Kevin came and stood close to me while I watched it happened.  He even whispered "She's hugging everyone.  But you."

As if she heard, she turned and announced "I don't hug you."  It wasn't said with regret, or sadness, or even surprise.  It wasn't intended to be mean.  It was just a declarative statement.  I thought Kevin was going to have to sit down.  She did hug me and yes, it was awkward.

Usually if I touch you, it's because I'm innately trying to determine the physical distance between you and me to compensate for poor vision. With that, I have tried, by a simple touch, to be more affectionate.  As I try though, I have a fight or flight instinct when someone gestures for a hug.  It's rarely comforting to me.  I usually am "talking myself off the ledge" when it happens. 

I understand it may hurt peoples feelings that I'm not a hugger.  I understand.  It's not like I turn and run.  I try to keep it light while bobbing & weaving to avoid it.  I am just not that person.

So, friends in real life, I am sure you're aware: I'm not a hugger.  I apologize for flinching if you try.  Just think of me as a feral child.

How about a fist bump instead?

05 August 2011

On Friendship

For Epicurus, friendship is a major way to ataraxia, or tranquility in life: “Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship.” Aristotle developed a sophisticated theory of friendship, recognizing three types: of pleasure, of utility, and of virtue. The first kind applies to situations in which one is a person’s friend because of the direct pleasure that friendship brings — for instance because you like people who are good conversationalists, or with whom you can go to concerts, and so on. Friendships of utility are those in which one gains a tangible benefit, either economic or political, from the relationship. ... For Aristotle, though, the highest kind of friendship was one of virtue, where you are friends with someone because of the kind of person he is, because of her virtues.  ~ Massimo Pigliucci  from this post 

 Luckily, most friendships have a natural life cycle. Often we're drawn together by circumstance—work, the single life, kids—and as our situations change, we gradually drift apart. On a deeper level, our friendships mirror our internal life. "As we gain a stronger sense of self, what used to matter no longer does, and we're bound to outgrow certain friendships," says Florence Falk, PhD, a New York City psychotherapist. "Once you're aware of that, without being cruel or feeling guilt-ridden, you can begin to let go of relationships that no longer nourish your most authentic self."........................

 There's no single template for friendship. Some people are in our lives because they carry a precious shard of our history, while others reflect our passions and priorities right now. Still others are in danger of becoming ex-friends because we're either too preoccupied to pick up the phone or too scared to speak our minds. As Virginia Woolf said, "I have lost friends, some by death—others through sheer inability to cross the street."
Barbara Graham, a regular contributor to O, is the author of Eye of My Heart

Pulled from an article on adult friendships.  They're so well-written there's nothing else I can add. I just thought it was important to share and think about.

04 August 2011

Oh, We've Missed You. Where Have You Been?

I don't regret not being a mom.  I am not one of those women that are sad, wistful, or bitter about it.  It's beyond my control, we made other choices, and our life is pretty good without children.

It's come up a lot recently from our friends who are parents that they aren't sad for us or are perhaps might be a tiny bit jealous.  One couple is experiencing teenage drama with their son.  I mentioned to Kevin that perhaps we're not missing out on being parents.  The mom said "Nope, nothing.  You're not missing out one ONE THING."

She was joking, kind of.  She loves her son, just not so much right now. 

I will say that having the kids next door has changed my life.  We're an aunt and uncle but we've also become one more set of parents for those kids.  Poor kids have two sets of grandparents, parents, and an aunt & uncle. 

It has it's moment of GAH THERE'S TOO MANY OF YOU!!!! but mostly, it's been nothing but an improvement.

Because of them:
We're greeted at our cars at the end of the workday.
We had a campfire with hotdogs & marshmallows in our lower property down by the creek. 
We went sledding
We've watched them learn to ride two-wheelers and now get to watch them ride past the house.
We've experienced Christmas, birthdays, Easter, 4th of July, all through five little pairs of eyes.  Holidays are different when there are kids around. 

Mostly, I just enjoy watching them.  The sun rises & sets on Uncle Kevin so it's always fun to watch them interact.  But it's the little things too.  Girl Little was just wandering the driveway collecting flowers, or rocks, or something important to the 5 year old child.  Completely in her own world, just learning as she goes. 

One day the Littles went by our bedroom window about 9 in the morning.  I turned down the television to make sure they weren't up to mischief.  They weren't.  They were playing a game that apparently required them to circle our house twice then go down "the big steps" into the lower property.  I wish I knew what game they were playing.  They were so intent on it that nothing else really mattered.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to have that kind of single-mindedness, even if for just a little while?

The kids have made us slow down.  They've made us participate.  They've made us appreciate the life we do have.  I don't regret not having children but I sure am thankful every single day for the five ones we have been  given. Now that they're here, we can't imagine life without them.


03 August 2011

Chicken Head

I shower every day.  I know that "experts" suggest that your hair shouldn't be washed every day but I say: "You don't have my hair."   It's baby fine hair which tangles easily.  Then add two cowlicks at the "corners" of my forehead and that's a whole lot of unattractive.

It was with Utter Dismay that it began to rain during the night while we were at the racetrack.  We woke up early and looked outside to see our awnings that cover the racecars sagging to a dangerous level.  We quickly got dressed, woke up everyone else, then worked on emptying the water.

After we were done it was still raining so Kevin said "We're not going to race today. Let's get packed up."

Silly, silly me, I believed him.

We stayed all day and raced.  It was in the 70's that afternoon.  Unfortunately, I did not shower. Thinking we were heading home, I took the ponytail out, combed through my hair then managed to tame my bangs into place, sorta.  Because we slept "outside" my hair wasn't terrible as it would be if I'd slept in my own bed. I think that if you didn't know me well, it would just look like perhaps I was having a bad hair day.  Instead, I felt like I was having a bad body day.

All that being said, how in the world do people go without showering?  I felt beastly all day.  Physically I felt gummy and emotionally I felt dragged down.  They say that people who fight depression need to shower every day and I have to agree.  There is just no way you can feel good about yourself, or just feel good, when you haven't showered.

I just prayed all day that my favorite photographer wasn't going to take our picture that day.  He's already given me a photo of myself that I dislike intensely.  It's okay though, he also gave me one of Kevin & I that I adore so it balances out.

I did make Kevin laugh when I asked him if I had chicken-head so there's that. I guess the day wasn't a total loss.

02 August 2011


Dear Canadian Friends....we love you. That's all.

Dear Racetrack...I don't know how such a loud place restores & recharges me but you do.

Dear Passive Aggressive Co-worker...I wish for you: a yeast infection.

Dear Dog...please for the love of DOG, will you stop shedding?  AND, while we're at it: all the chairs on the deck are Not Yours.

Dear Summer, thanks for making an appearance.  If we ignore your tardiness, will you stay?

Dear ADD, why do you make me read shampoo directions when I'm late for work? Not helpful.

Dear Verizon Wireless Customer Service, thank you for making it right after I got a very rare disinterested customer service agent.

Dear Memory, please at least try to remember that we need mustard? kthanx.

Dear Random Lady in the Grocery Store, thanks for recommending Stouffers Mac & Cheese. Nom Nom Nom.