31 March 2012

I Need This

These are simple wants but location is the trouble.  This picture was taken in Vegas.

30 March 2012

I Talk Funny

I write how I talk, although I try to omit the random curses and Canadian inflections. 

I regularly begin sentences with “So…” and use pauses. 

My punctuation is usually correct, due to grammar check but I am apt at randomly adding a comma where one isn’t necessary. 

Like I mentioned to far-away friend J, I also tend to use descriptive words in the wrong sequence.  “She said, randomly”  “It fell to the ground, softly.”  It’s very Shakespearean of me and makes me crazy. As it did my high school literature and composition teacher.

Often it is because my brain is going too quickly.  I have found if I stammer it is because two words are trying to get out at the same time and often if I force it, they will come out in the incorrect order.

Billy Connelly said something in a documentary a long time ago that struck a chord with me.  He described his brain as a jumble of thoughts and ideas, all struggling for space and attention.  As if they’re saying “Talk about me! Talk about me or I’ll effing go away.”

That is my brain.

So, (see what I did there?) as much as autocorrect and grammar check makes me crazy I would write nonsense without it.

What strange and wonderful grammar or speech pattern do you have?

29 March 2012

Fading Flowers

When my dad died, he was sick and miserable so death was a relief for him and us. He wasn’t healthy prior to his diagnosis and his fight wasn’t very long. 

My grandparents died suddenly when I was young so I didn’t experience aging with them at all.

Watching Kevin’s mom slowly deteriorate is heart-wrenching.  For the first time I do understand what the description of faded flower as applied to a person means.

Every once in awhile we will glimpse how she used to be.  We will see just a moment of clarity in her attitude or a burst of activity that she is not usually capable of and remember how she used to be.

It is jarring as the deterioration was subtle at first then brutal over the last two months.  I glanced at an older picture of her the other day and was struck at how much she has changed.  It seems so long ago now. She is another person now.

Also, hindsight is 20/20.  We can see now when things took a turn for the worse and how she hid it.  And frankly that we probably avoided acknowledging it.

I have had this debate in the past: what is preferable a slow death or a sudden one?  I chose sudden because slow is excruciating for everyone involved.’

She is frustrated when she realizes how frail she has become.  She is also embarrassed and humiliated that she can no longer be the person she has been all her life: a wife, mom, grandmother, aunt, and friend. 

So yeah, faded flower to describe Kevin’s mom is apt. 

28 March 2012

Time to Dig

The grocery store has flowers for sale outside the doors now.  I’ve been longingly admiring them as I go past. 

My fake flowers still line the walkway along the house.  They’ve held up incredibly well over the past two years.  I do enjoy the random brightness they hold in the dark months.

But I’m starting to crave real, growing things.  I’m starting to think about planting the backyard and replacing the fakes. 

One of the problems I have is that I do have random pots that I can’t remember if I planted perennials or annuals.  I think I mostly planted annuals but I thought that last year and was wrong in two pots.  Luckily, the perennial just grew around what I planted on top of them.

I like butterfly bushes, lavender, and hostas.  Kevin doesn’t want anything like hostas because we live in the country and he wants to avoid critters living in the depths.  I also like lilac & lilies that grow really well here but I am super allergic. 

The kids like playing in our backyard so I’m hesitant to plant anything while they are living here.  This is a trade off that I don’t mind at all.  I can have flowers later.

Lucky for me, it’s only March.  I have another month before it is safe to plant anything.  That’s plenty of time to attempt to plan some sort of landscaping.

But I think I’ll still keep my fake flowers.  They’re still so pretty!

27 March 2012

Remember the Reading Hour?

Is there anything more enticing than a stack of books? (Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum.  Pizza.)  I have multiple stacks of books around this house, many of them unread. There is one next to my bed that I’ve read a few chapters of and one next to my chair that I’ve read the first chapter.

Where did my book reading time go? 

I usually read at the racetrack, in between rounds.  I can burn though a book a weekend there.  But we haven’t been to the track since September. 

I usually read during our snow days or when the power goes out. This year we had snow days but it was when Kevin’s mom was in hospital so no reading then.  The power didn’t go out this winter so there went that opportunity as well.

I haven’t even really taken the time to take a long bath.  What is up with that?

I haven’t had insomnia in a long while, that was my other reading opportunity.  I’m happy about this so there will be no complaining.

Perhaps it is because there is so much good television on these days.  Rarely is there a night where nothing is on that we want to watch.  I guess I can also blame the DVR in this instance.  Nowadays, there simply is no such thing as nothing on.

I don’t read in the mornings after Kevin leaves because that will guarantee my falling back asleep and being late for work.  The same principal as turning on the laptop or writing in the early morning.

So poppets, where do you find time to read?

26 March 2012

How is it Possible We Need More Technology?

We need to get another laptop.  It seems ridiculous as we have one plus our smart phones plus the dinosaur desktop.  That seems like enough technology for one household.

It’s not easy to use the desktop anymore though.  It’s no longer connected with the internet and is too old to make it work anyway.  The office is far enough away from the living room that it feels like I’m exiling myself from Kevin if I work in here.

I even considered moving the desktop out into the living room somehow but I believe that would drive both of us insane.  The clutter for one, although it would be just a screen & keyboard because I would so hide the cpu.  Still, clutter all the same.

I use the Microsoft ergonomic keyboard.  I know, it makes everyone else insane to use but it works for my brain.  I can’t type on standard keyboards, I flash back to high school and suddenly all my typing looks like a Dr Seuss book.

The sound of the keyboard would make Kevin stabby for sure.  If roles were reversed, it would make me crazy as well so I can’t blame him. So that’s one more reason not to move this whole thing out there.

Also, one would think that after working on a computer all the live long day I wouldn’t want to sit in front of another one.  But gone are the days of playing on the Facebook and watching Grey’s Anatomy.  As it stands, I zip out blog posts on the fly and hope for the best.  Or worse: I do them while laying in bed on my phone.

I’ve even momentarily considered, irrationally, handwriting the blog, scanning it then posting it.  No one wants to see that.  At least not frequently.

So you see? We need another laptop.  Maybe I’ll go look at CraigsList.

25 March 2012

Where is My Walkman?

I have two boxes of CD’s next to me.  Kevin’s brother converted them all to MP3 and loaded them on his phone.  Kevin can then plug his phone into his stereo and voila! there is every song he’s every purchased.

At the time I didn’t have a phone with a big enough memory to do it so I am still stuck in the 90’s.  Also, we have similar yet different tastes.  He would not be caught dead or alive with GLEE on his playlist.

I’m a little more picky as well.  I would want to choose and carefully arrange my playlist.  Kind of like a DJ, I want the perfect blend of loud and quiet. Thusly I’m stalled with two boxes of CD’s.

What does one do with leftover, outdated even, CD’s anyway?  Trading them in used to be an option but it’s dead technology so a person either gets $5 for 100 CD’s or trades unwanted one for more soon-to-be unwanted ones.

I’m also cynical about technology.  I just know that after I convert all this music as MP3 something else better will just replace it and I’ll be frustrated all over again.

Just get me my cane, Walkman, and Duran Duran CD. I’ll be fine.

24 March 2012

A Simple Thank You Will Do

Last night I was holding a restaurant door open for my family.  As happens certain family members straggled behind.  In the meanwhile, a family came out.  There were three daughters (all with glasses by the way. I notice these things) who came out first. 

Each of them thanked me for holding the door open, as did their parents.  I mentioned to their parents that each of the girls thanked me and that it was impressive.  I imagine it would be nice to get positive feedback about your children so I try to mention it when I get the opportunity.

(They also reminded me of BFF K's kids, both in appearance and manners)

Tonight Kevin buttered my toast (yes, very Notting Hill of him) and I told him "Thank you, that was very nice of you." I think that made him just as happy as if I said I love you or I'm proud of you.

I think saying please & thank you often is forgotten in the hustle of life.  We take each other for granted, not purposefully but just by being distracted, busy, and used to each other.

Perhaps it is because we don't think it's necessary with our loved ones.  Surely we will say thank you to strangers who hold the door open but do we remember to do it for our own families?  I'm not so sure.  Again, I don't think it's anything malevolent I think we're just preoccupied.

So all that being said: thank you for stopping by to read these ramblings.  Thank you for all the little unnoticed kindnesses that you do.

22 March 2012


I have mentioned a few (eleventy) times  that my job has changed.  One of the fun outcomes is that I will regularly be responsible for social media.  So, yeah, I am getting paid to post on the facebook, the twitter, the pinterest, and new development: a blog.

I can't believe quite yet that I will be paid to surf the interwebs and write.  It is very strange to me that what I had hoped for, years ago, has come to fruition. 

What is strange is that there is no to few templates as to how to "do" social media. There are plenty of suggestions and people willing to take your money in order to teach you but truly, this is new territory.

Luckily for me, I have this space that I'm familiar with and my personal facebook, twitter, and pinterest accounts.  It's different, however, when it's for an organization versus for person entertainment.

I tend to be irreverent and sarcastic but when representing I won't be able to do that. I will need to research "serious" topics to post and talk about.  I accidentally posted to my personal twitter a link about racism that I would normally never post.  (if you follow me, did you wonder wtf?)

So, that's what I will be up to.  A total Gen Xer working on the interwebs for a living.  Now if I could just do it from home, life would be perfection. But I'm so not complaining that's for sure.

21 March 2012

Stumbling Into the Light

There is a line that everyone that has ever lived in the Pacific Northwest hears this time of the year:

We come stumbling out into the light, as if emerging from hibernation.

Today was that day.  Even though  there was snow on the ground this morning, the day was gorgeous.  Sunny, beautiful, and dare-I-say warm.  After the grey and dark of winter, it is as if everyone has been suddenly zapped with a defibrillator.

Windows were open, sunglasses were donned, and moods were brightened. It is amazing what simple sunlight does to a human body and psyche.

The 4Runner has a sunroof.  I have wanted a sunroof since I was fifteen years old.  It is a special kind of luxury to slide the cover back and have sunlight pour down upon you.

Happy Spring, everyone.  I hope you find a moment to stand in the sun today.

17 March 2012

A Rose by Any Other Name

When I began this silly little blog, I wanted it to be anonymous.  As time has passed, I haven't so much worried about burying personal details.  I don't use my family or friends actual names nor do I regularly identify where I live.

I chose the name Firegirl because I couldn't think of a proper pseudonym at the time.  Also, at the time I was a licensed and practicing pyrotechnician.

But now I'm not and the name feels outdated. 

So, I'm thinking of changing the pseudonym.  I'm thinking of using an actual name although not my birth or family name in any way.

Friends in real life, now's your chance to rename me.  Friends that live in the interwebs, throw me your ideas. I might even throw a little gifty in the mail if someone finds me the perfect name.

Happy St Patricks Day!

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
~Irish Blessing

16 March 2012


One of the joys (sarcasm) of coming from a childhood like mine is not being able to share similar childhood stories or milestones. Many of my stories are like anti-childhood stories.

During dinner tonight, we were watching an unplugged Bon Jovi concert on Palladia (like MTV used to be)  We were talking about music we listened to when we were younger.  Music is one of the few things that are different between Kevin and I due to the seven year age difference.

Kevin told me a story about his mom not wanting to buy his brother an Aerosmith album and offering to buy a Cheech & Chong album from one of the cousins to keep her from listening to it.

I shared that my parents paid no attention to what I listened to, allowed MTV in my bedroom as a sixth grader and when I was five, I listened with the big kids to Cheech & Chong at my grandmas on Christmas. 

Yeah, I can kick your happy-childhood-memories ass with my Manson Family ones. 

14 March 2012


Apropos of nothing, I was listening to Billy Joel's Scene from an Italian Restaurant on the way home tonight when I thought of the topic of this post:
When did you know you were going to marry your husband or wife?

I remember lying on the couch with my head on his lap while waiting to have dinner with his family.  I felt, for the first time perhaps, centered & whole.  I realized that this was who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. To use BFF C's phrase: I had found my person.

It wasn't fireworks and lightning bolts.  It wasn't love at first sight.  It was just a dawning realization that this is where I want to be and who I wanted to be with. It was a certainty.

I also remember that he was So Not Ready.  Not even a little bit.  It was two years later when he proposed.  We had been together three years at that point and to be honest, I was beginning to think that we weren't going to get married.  Although I didn't doubt that he was still my person.

Fast forward almost twenty years later & here we are.

How did you know?  Was it lightning & thunder? was it just assumed? was it a surprise?

Quote of the Day

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women 
use when no knife is handy.  ~Ellery Queen

13 March 2012


Dear Universe,
Can Washington State please get a break? For just a little while.  It seems like everything horrifically bad is happening here.

Dear Co-Worker,
Get. Over. Yourself.

Dear KMart,
Your store is confusing.  I don't shop there often and now I know why.

Dear Kevin,
I'm glad you're feeling better.  It freaks me out when you're sick

Dear Kind-but-thoughtless Donors,
No one wants Nana's polyester. No one. Ever.

Dear Mother Nature,
I'm a fan of snow but snow on March 13th while trees & flowers are budding is a little schizophrenic.  And windstorms? No thank you. Please check your meds.

Dear Me,
Don't watch scary television episodes while it's dark outside, you're alone in the house AND there is a windstorm.

Dear Adele,
Thank you for your voice.  It's like listening to therapy.

09 March 2012

Tell Me About So Much

We are all feeling a little vulnerable lately. January  February are always tough months and recent events have just added to the annual ennui.

The other day I was scoffing at the "We've Been Through So Much" quote that one hears so often in vows and engagement announcements.  You hear this A Lot in reality television shows. (ahem, Bachelor commercials. Bitch, please)

I found myself grumbling at the television.  "Be together for more than ten minutes. Have elderly parents. Endure illness.  Have children. Pay a Mortgage." Scoff.  "Been through so much." Eyeroll. Whatever.

Do please tell me about we've been through so much...like when he danced with that girl in the club? or didn't call you? or that time that your mom didn't pay your cell bill? or when he didn't notice your hair? Or you spilled something on your brand-new outfit?

Is that what you call "so much"? Because if it is, buckle up baby.  The universe is going to hand you so much more. And you're not going to like it.

I know, I know. Everyone we meet is fighting a battle. I'm just not in the mood for people sweating the small stuff. 

08 March 2012

Don't Move the Antenna

Kevin has been home sick for three days now.  He is a good patient and sick person so I'm not complaining about that at all. 

That being said: I need a consistent schedule.  I have not had a consistent schedule.  It's making me a little edgy.

Also, he has been watching The Andy Griffith Show while I'm getting ready for work.  I can't put up with that sh*t for long.


We have a radio in the bathroom. It lives next to the window on the area around our tub.  Because it's older, it has an antenna and because it's older, the antenna keeps sliding to the side.

This bugs me. 

So I keep putting it "right" and grumbling about it.

Finally, Kevin announces the other day "New Rule!"  This is what he says when something needs to change or be done.

"Don't touch the antenna.  It needs to stay to the side so You Don't Lose An Eye"



Thank you, Kevin, for saving my eyesight. 

But the Andy Griffith thing needs to stop.

06 March 2012

One Last Snowfall

The first  fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event.  You go to bed in one kind of world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?  ~J.B. Priestley

05 March 2012

I Don't Care What Happens To You

A while ago I read an article in Oprah magazine about "how to love more while caring less."  It caught my attention because wha?  how does that go again?

I became more puzzled when I read the basic principle was thinking "I don't care what happens to you" when it comes to dealing with difficult people in our lives, siblings, friends, whatever.

Here's an excerpt:
To care for someone can mean to adore them, feed them, tend their wounds. But care can also signify sorrow, as in "bowed down by cares." Or anxiety, as in "Careful!" Or investment in an outcome, as in "Who cares?" The word love has no such range of meaning: It's pure acceptance. Watching families like Loretta's taught me that caring—with its shades of sadness, fear, and insistence on specific outcomes—is not love. In fact, when care appears, unconditional love often vanishes.

It's been weeks and I am still mulling it over.  Essentially it is about teaching yourself to care about that person without stressing out over their choices or the possible result thereof.

Here is an example:  The Nephew is taking on managing, with the possibility to own, a coffee shop with his fiancee in Seattle.  This makes my stomach hurt.  The risk, the stress, the kids moving away.  What if, what if, what if.  Did they think about, did they consider, what if.

If I am understanding this idea correctly then I am supposed to only focus on the fact that he is feeling excited, happy, and challenged.  (challenged as a good thing, not as a derp thing)

As if. As if that were possible.

I just don't know if that's possible but it is interesting to think about.  What would happen if we just thought/said/tried to just care for someone but not care what happens to them?  Is that a good thing? Or is it a terrible idea?

I keep trying to find ways to apply it to my life but it just goes against most of what I think and know.

What do you think?  What if you didn't care what happens to someone? Would it be better or worse?

04 March 2012

News & Notes

Well, hi.

I nearly forgot to come back here, didn't I?

Work has been the usual human circus that it usually is.  It's starting to set into a pattern though so that's nice.

I finished a project on Friday in just over two, uninterrupted hours.  Amazing as interruptions are the very definition of my day.  Co-workers are the worst offenders while the clients and the phone are the second/third.  They get a pass though, you know, those at-risk people.

To thwart co-workers, I finally made a sign that simply states "Not Now".  To offset any snarkiness, I used a pretty cursive font and added butterflies.  Ha!

I broke my rule about working from home today.  I had two things that have been hanging over my head for a while that I finally just decided to tackle today while I am in the comfort of my own home and not in the need for a sign.

I am surprisingly ungrumpy about this and am looking forward to the symbolism of scratching those two items off my to-do-list tomorrow.

What else................

The kids (grown nephew and fiancee) have taken on managership of a coffee shop in North Seattle (a little over an hour away)  They are working well together so far so we're keeping our fingers crossed.  It is an opportunity that can either go remarkably well or horribly awry.

It's an interesting little shop: http://www.facebook.com/thecoffeedrop or http://coffeedropcafe.com/

This will eventually mean that the kids will move away but we're not talking about that. At all.

My books are beginning to pile up again, unread.  I can't remember the last time I just kicked back and read here at the house.  I haven't had my snow days like usual.  This means that it could be not since September.  That is not okay.

Kevin's mom is stable.  She doesn't do much these days and the father-in-law continues to be the best nurse ever.  We're all settling down into the new routine and not jumping every time the phone rings.

Our race series doesn't start until July this year.  I don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved to have some of the summer off.  I'm sure that we'll go to the track before then but we don't compete until July.

What will we do with that time, I wonder?  Kevin has talked about painting the garage and finishing some landscaping projects.  I know that we have to paint at least the main bathroom and the laundry room.

I have on my new Ambitious 2012 To Do List to paint at least one room not white.  I'm back to scouting all the house magazines for the "perfect" color.  The laundry room doesn't have windows so it has to be a bright color. 

I'm most concerned with the wall Missy scrubs against while going in and out the door.  Kevin suggested diamond plate and I tell you what, I momentarily considered it.

Okay, it's after 9:00 and Kevin is snoozing in his chair.  Time to go to bed.

Have a great week, poppets!!

01 March 2012


I think I found this site via Dooce.  I don't check every day but wait until a few pages are available for viewing.  It's best that way.

If you need a good cry, check it out.  It's a collection of wedding photographs with asimple one sentence explanation. I share with you: Moment Junkie