You Are Not Lance Armstrong

It's Saturday so the bicycle riders are out in full force. We live in the country, yo, so the road is often used for races, marathons, scenic routes, etc.

I have to admit that few things infuriate me more than bicycle riders. It's not fair, it's not rational. It's not good to generalize. I understand this.

But really?

I was always taught to yield to cars, follow traffic laws and Pay Attention Lest You Get Run Over like Roadkill. Even MY parents were able to convey these very simple rules. So, I say with all the kindness I can muster: WTF bicyclists??

Two and three abreast...ignoring oncoming traffic and blind curves. Alternating between holding up traffic and pulling over, precariously balancing on two tires while stopped versus making the monumental reach of putting your feet down. Alternating between using the road and the sidewalk...using the crosswalk...

Oh, I could go on. I'm not even mentioning the Attire. Men - I don't need to know your religion, thanks. Women - No Ones and I mean NO ONES ass looks good in biker pants. Just Stop It.

"Share the Road" seems to actually mean "I get to do whatever I want because I'm saving the environment one pedal at a time and You're NOT." F#&k off, seriously.

Like I said, I have issues.

Disclaimer: apologies for any bicyclist readers...I'm sure you commit none of the above offenses and are perfectly lovely...