23 April 2014

I Dream of Running

Two weeks ago was the 2 year anniversary of falling down the stairs.  In some ways, it feels so long ago and in others, it feels five minutes ago.  Sometimes it takes on a surreal feeling, as if it happened but it couldn't have been as bad as all that. (oh, but it was)

I've found, now that a few months have passed to absorb the information, that the disability rating of 9% is pretty accurate. I'm slowly coming around to the fact that it just IS and there isn't much to be done about it.  Yes, I know: DUH.

Let's play Shiny Side: Working part-time is required and I have a forever excuse to sit down.
Shiny Side for right now:  I get to wear sneakers forever!  My inner teenager is celebrating.
Not Shiny Side:  Cold weather.  However, it occurs to me that I will just become one of those little old ladies that spends winters in Arizona or Florida so this could also be in the Shiny Side Category.

Someone mentioned the other day that "You can't even tell anything happened!"  Kevin replied, without even thinking, "Yes you can.  She just hides it well." Um, thanks?
I also don't know how to respond when people ask.  I usually try for a non-committal "It's still there..." or "Getting better every day".  On one level, I'm tired of it being A Thing.  On another level I just want to be brutally honest and say "It sucks often, thanks for asking"

What I do find interesting is that I dream of running.  I dream that I can and that I do.  In my dreams I can run to the car or even *gasp* go running on purpose.  It's just like the amputees say: you dream that you're able bodied.  (this is where I say I am in no way on the same level as those brave folks)
Anyone who knows me in reals knows that I would only run if I was on fire and being chased by wolves and even then it's a strong maybe.

No comments: