29 February 2016

Proof My Life is a Sitcom

So, hmm, what's been happening here lately?  I will give you two vignettes:

Last week my father-in-law broke his ankle.  So for those of you keeping score at home, three out of six adults in this family have broken their ankle.  Do not move here or visit even.  We have issues.

After Kevin got home that night, he phoned next door to see what the doctor said.  Kevin said his dad said "Well, it's a fracture." 
Kevin said "So it was broken." 
Kevin's dad corrected him "No, it's a FRACTURE." 
His mother can be heard in the background "Dear, it's BROKEN."
"No it's a FRACTURE"
"No, it's BROKEN.  They said  BROKE."
"It's a fracture."

Repeat this for the next three days.

I could hear this from Kevin's phone and I had to walk away.  Hours later, I asked Kevin..."They, umm, know that it's the same thing, right?" 
"I'm not sure they do."

He kept walking on his fractured ankle because "It doesn't hurt."  He unwrapped his entire soft-case because it was too tight.  They called us at 8:45 to have me come wrap it back up because they couldn't figure out how to do it.  When they gave him a boot, he continued to take it off because it was uncomfortable. 

Finally, after being threatened with surgery, he is now staying off of it. To the other end of the spectrum.  He doesn't get up now.  His mom has been taking care of them.  As we learned when Kevin's mom was in the hospital, accepting help is not something they are willing to do.

So, yeah.  I've adjusted my schedule a bit so that there is someone around if things go sideways. That is the shiny side.

Fast forward about a week...Kevin's uncle, my father-in-law's older brother, has come to visit.  Because why not?

We had dinner as a family today.  KFC, because my sister-in-law is Up To HERE with everything right now.  She never is grumpy or gets rattled but she has HAD IT.

Our uncle brought a video to watch.  A VHS video.  From 2005.  Of their vacation in Mexico.

Do you remember the camcorder days?  Total crap sound, unsteady camera to point of seasickness, and it really shows how people of this generation have become Spielbergs  with their phones.  Nothing makes a person appreciate cell phone cameras like old VHS tapes.

The first five minutes was looking over the dash while hearing nothing but the rattling of the motorhome in the background.  Then it switched to five minutes of looking at the courtyard of the condos.  I know you think it can't get any better and it doesn't.

Someone noticed the contractors building some condos.  The soundtrack is a jackhammer then accompanied by a cement mixer.  This was so interesting that we watched thirty minutes of it. 

"Because you see, he lifts those buckets. They weigh 75 pounds.  Watch! He lifts it one handed, and he runs. I tell you, he runs.  And he never stops!!"  For thirty minutes.  "And that guy, look at that guy.  He takes a bucket full of concrete and lifts it up to the other guy."


About halfway through, Kevin looks at me and whispers "Effing kill me."

Fifteen minutes later and watching a boat launch later, Kevin finally tapped out.   We came home singing a bitter chorus of OMG.

That's what's happening here.  What's going on with you?

1 comment:

Swistle said...

Favorite part: "I know you think it can't get any better and it doesn't."