Seasoning Salt

My parents and my in-laws are considering death.

No, they’re not suicidal; it is not a cult-thing, just aging; which I guess is rather cult-like.

My parents are long-retired and my in-laws are semi-retired. I’ve noticed that the older they get, the more they talk about it. As a young person (don’t laugh, I’m young by some standards) this is disconcerting.

So, my parents have their final wishes all taken care of. I am pleased that they have planned ahead so we don’t have to deal with all the of the details when the time comes. I am also pleased that they are still here to hear our comments on their wishes.

My mom wants to be cremated and “You get to take me on an airplane ride” she announces a little proudly. It turns out that she wants to be scattered over the mountain that she sees every day from her front windows.
As the executor of the will and the youngest, I’m sure that I am the automatic loser (literally) of the upcoming Paper-Rock-Scissors game that I’ll play with my brothers to determine who’s going up in said airplane.

Now, my dad is a whole other story, as he usually is. He is going to be Lowery’s Seasoning Salt of the Earth. He is going about five different places. It is a clever idea really, just a logistical nightmare.
He was a construction worker and built many of the bridges where we live. He would like to be scattered off of each bridge that he worked on, encompassing three counties.
As my husband said, “Wow, you’re going to have a long day.”
My brother-in-law commented about not doing it and I said that my dad was difficult enough to live with in real life, I can’t imagine in afterlife. To which, my husband the mad genius quipped “Remember how happy we were BEFORE your dad lived with us?”
Funny, funny stuff about an unfunny topic.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, his individual baggies each have “funny” sayings on them to be read as we scatter. I can only imagine what they may be.

So, now the heart-touching part. The Hallmark Moment.

My in-laws will be living with us during their retirement. They won’t actually be living WITH us but on our property in a small camper/RV/camper thing. It’s not as redneck as it sounds. But I digress as usual.

In the meantime, they have been fixing up our houses. (my brother-in-law lives next door, we’re just one happy family…just don’t drink the Kool-Aid)
They’re working in our yards, building fences, etc. My father-in-law is going to have the biggest backyard ever when they move here. They're very excited.

They bought us our first Christmas tree for the Malibu Barbie Dream House. It is a live tree and it has since been planted in our yard. Well, as it comes about, they would like to be either scattered or buried underneath our tree when they pass. They are also going to buy a tree for the b-i-l. These instructions were given to my husband in a very loving and tearful speech by my father-in-law during the holidays. My husband can barely re-tell the story without welling.

So, sort of in my dad’s tradition, they are going to be scattered about our properties as well. One big, happy family in life as well as death.

So, they are very creative, the lot of them. Each adding a little of themselves to our world as they did in life and each of them in their own personal way.