Time Out

I think that I am the only person on the planet that feels badly for Paris Hilton at this point.

Now, before the flames reach me, Listen: At This Point.

I believe she should have to sit her little ass in jail for DUI, etc because that was the sentence given to her. I believe she should have to sit the whole sentence and not days off for good behavior, etc. Let me make that clear.

HOWEVER…

When the sheriff let her out, that should have been the end of it. Let the judge fire the sheriff or whatever but don't ping-pong someone back and forth between jail and freedom. That would fuck with a normal person's head, let alone an aristrobrat who has always gotten her way.

Let's put aside the Paris Hilton persona for just a minute. Is it possible? Let's try.

Here is an aristobrat who has had everything handed to her all of her life. Everything. She never has to think about where toilet paper comes from or how to replace a lightbulb. Basic survival skills, not her thing.

Now, let's take her and set her in a closet-sized room. (although her closet is probably bigger than most master bedrooms but whatever) No telephone, no cell, no computer, no Blackberry, no television other than the community television that you know is set on the news channels discussing her very public imprisonment.

Add in that she has said in interviews that she has never been totally alone. I believe her; there are always parents, siblings, friends, media, bodyguards, drivers, and personal assistants. There is always someone. Now there is no one.

So, stark & empty room. No interaction. Nothing recognizable.

Can you imagine how scary that would be? Jail would be scary enough, actually for a normal person. Now imagine it through her eyes.

"Normal" people have been alone, have been hungry, have been scared, and have been with nothing. This is something she has never experienced and she must be terrified.

Do I think she should be released for it? No. I think this is a very Buddhist opportunity for her.

I just can't imagine going from the red carpet and parties of the MTV Movie Awards to jail. I don't think you can get much farther apart on the spectrum, can you?

I don't like Paris Hilton. I think she is a waste of time and "celebrity." I wish she would go away and do something with her life. Nevertheless, I wouldn't wish being bounced back and forth between home and jail on anyone.

Now I pity her. She obviously has issues. I was surprised to read she was in her mid-twenties. She is very immature. Now, you just said "DUH!" didn't you? This is what I meant: The sobbing in jail for three days straight, the reported mouthing of "I love you" and "Mommy, help me," and the screaming of "This isn't FAIR!" are not the actions/words of a twenty-something. They are the words of a child.

With this realization, the rest of her antics make sense now. The tantrums, the girl fights, the name-calling, the dressing up. She never progressed beyond the age of four. Seriously. What the hell happened that she stalled so young in her development?
Is there something wrong, something that is disguised by money, good looks, and good clothes? I read that she never finished high school and never really went to school anyway. So, what level her education? Grade school? Perhaps.

So, now I pity her. She is four and she is on the biggest time-out possible.

What would I have done, you ask?
I don't think jail is appropriate for her. (Now, settle down!) I think house arrest for her is appropriate. HOWEVER, I would have restrictions: no visitors, no take-out or delivery service, 40 hours weekly community service. Summed up: She is confined, she has no visitors, and she has to contribute to society. She has to hear about the world going on around her through her cell phone, Blackberry, and computer and worst of all: she cannot participate. I think for her, specifically, that would be punishment enough.

What happens next? I'm guessing a break-down. And I don't think it will be contrived. I think it will be genuine. That's the saddest thing.

I do pity her now. She is just a toddler in a porn-star body.

And now, I have to go write something meaningful to erase the fact that I just wrote an entire blog entry about Paris Hilton.