One of the girls at the coffee stand told me her romantic life story the other morning. We're facebook friends and we've known her for a few years so talking about this wasn't unusual. That being said, it always surprises me the things that people tell me.
Micahla seems like a good person although a bit of party girl, which has been an issue from time to time. (showing up late to work, getting tossed from places, you know: the usual *eye-rolling*) She is one year away from finishing her degree and for the life of me, I can't remember what it will be. I think it's an education degree, lending to the I think she's a good person description.
She has a boyfriend who is Australian. He lives in Vancouver and works as a chef at a high-end restaurant. His Canadian work visa expires in a month-ish so he's returning to Australia. One of the other reasons that he's returning is his dad is ill. His dad owns a high-end restaurant that he will begin working at while his dad is having treatment. This seems like a tidy package but it also seems like there is perhaps more to his story than either she mentions or that he has disclosed. (like how he ended up in Canada in the first place) Once everything is resolved, he would like to return to the States or Canada.
They've been dating about nine months and are fairly serious. She has been purposefully dating a few guys over the past two years after being in a long term relationship. She said she doesn't want to be a serial monogamist then regret it later in life. She also says that she can see them go the distance but that, truthfully, they're both holding back because of the whole Australian thing so who really knows.
Apparently he has some issues regarding their relationship (insecurity, she said) as his parents never married (each other or anyone else), his dad lived far away, and he's always been surrounded by women. In other words: he has no idea what a relationship even looks like. She said that this doesn't bother her per se but that is an issue. To me, it's a bit of a red flag but more on the pink side.
She's trying to decide at what level to pursue this relationship once he returns home. She says that she's just going to "see how it goes" but it feels like maybe possibly in the back of her mind she's considering moving there. She's saving for a trip through Europe for graduation but also saving to travel to Australia to see him. Clearly, she's not discarding her plans because of this guy but it's on her radar.
If this were a movie, they would get married so he could become a United States citizen or she could become an Australian citizen once his family situation gets settled. But this isn't a movie so that hasn't been an option for the two of them.
I was trying to imagine what choice I would make in her situation, at that age. I think I would have probably been all Jane Eyre about it: melodramatic, we can never be together so would try to move on, all the while hoping something would change. (and for Jane, it did.)
In a fantasy version of my fantasy life, I would save up and move to Australia on a whim not caring if the relationship worked out or not because when you're in your twenties, very few things are permanent. And it's AUSTRALIA.
All said and done, I'm not even a little bit envious of her situation. I would not want to repeat my twenties again for any amount of money. This is coming from a girl that married, divorced, dated, and remarried by the time she was 25. (to be fair: I was married when I was nineteen)
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