Complicated Crossings

 So, on par with living in the dumbest timeline: We were pulled in at the border.

Clearly, it was resolved as here I am so everyone: breathe.  Also, they're not interested in middle-aged white folks.  Until they are.

Long story, long: After achieving a goal and personal best with the racecar, we discovered that the engine had broken.  Again: dumbest timeline.

This began a search for what was seemingly way-too-difficult-to-obtain engine block. (don't worry, this won't be a car thing)  Luckily, our Canadian friends came through and not only found us one but also did the necessary work.

On Saturday, we went to the track to see our friends.  We crossed both ways with zero issues.  I deleted my bio-metrics off of my phone, just in case.  It seems paranoid but it is a recommendation if you're going through the border.

Then on Monday, we went through a different border to get the engine block.  (there are four available border crossings where I live)  We crossed through with no problem other than the "When was the last time you were in Canada?" - because they do keep track - and my favorite "Did you bring any drugs/alcohol/firearms with you?" To which I replied "We're not that kind of Americans." This made Kevin laugh, not so much the agent.

We went to our friends house, had a nice visit, then went back to the border.  We had paperwork from the machine shop and declared what we had brought back.  The agent sighed, gave us a slip of paper and pulled us in.  SUPER.

This is where I say Kevin and I disagree. I'm okay with lying my face off.  I've said no when I've brought stuff across (car parts, not illegal stuff) We've lied and said we haven't purchased anything but Kevin "declared" this time.  He should have said that he brought it up to them to have work completed and was returning, they actually LIKE that but will ask why you don't have the worked completed in the US. So, it's a thing.

Now, we've been pulled in before.  Usually you're met by an agent and walked to the office.  This time, we were met with a grumpy agent who asked us why we were pulled in.   Kevin explained and the agent said, and I quote "Shit..."  He cast a glance over to the booth who pulled us in and dejectedly said "Go inside..."

Kevin grabbed his paperwork and not his wallet. I grabbed my phone and my ID.  We walked in and approached the desk.  One agent was working with a couple and the other waved us forward.  Kevin explained what had happened and this agent also sighed heavily.  He took our paperwork and said he'd be back after inspecting our vehicle.

We sat down, as did the other couple. There was a family also waiting who had arrived before us.  Everyone is friendly but clearly nervous.

Now, I tend to get sassy when I'm nervous.  Just know that and keep reading. 

We waited like ten minutes and the guard returned.  He called our names and we began to approach.  Another couple approached the agent, who was of a very different ethnic background.  We paused and we heard the agent say "Are you Kevin and Surely Could-Not-Be-MORE-Causcasian-Surname?" knowing obviously that they weren't.  The  couple apologized and stepped back.  I mentioned to Kevin, "If this doesn't go our way, maybe can they be us?" to which I got the side-eye from Kevin.

The agent explained that because of the ACTUAL USE OF FINGER QUOTES "Tr*mp Trade War" there is now strictly enforced duty on metal.  Now I'm doing math in my head as to how much it is it worth to pay the duty and/or that we were going to have to return to our friends house to drop it back off. And how we could go through a different border and not declare....So the agent turned into Charlie Brown's Teacher for a moment.

When I tuned back in, he said that he would have to determine the ORIGIN of the manufacturer.  He said that he knew it was a fool's errand as that is nearly impossible to determine but he's required to do so.  We return to our waiting bench.

Cue me searching the interwebs as to how to determine  the manufacturer of an engine block. The interwebs laughed and said "It can be done but good luck with that."  A few minutes later, the agent returned and explained basically what I just wrote.  He said it could be made in Canada, the US, or Mexico, all of which are involved in trade agreements.  He made the determination that it was probably made in the US or Canada and because it's a resale, duty has already been paid so we were free to go.  Whew.  But first: paperwork.  

As he's working on the computer, another agent calls up the previous couple.  He has a plant in his hands (those are not allowed across borders) and he gave them the option of leaving it at the border or returning into Canada and making arrangements for it's shipping.  The woman looked dismayed and said "I guess we have to leave it..."  To which, I replied "I hope it's not their love fern..."  I saw the agent that was working with us duck his head a little so he got the joke.  Kevin just raised an eyebrow at me.  (love fern, for reference)

Few minutes later, we're released to leave with basically a note from the agent.  He gave directions how to leave and said something about the next agent will be annoyed if we go the wrong way.  SUPER.

We returned to the truck and Kevin had to rewrap and strap the engine block back down.  I closed the back door to the truck, where clearly parts and paperwork had been rifled through, and waited.

We left the correct way so the agent wasn't annoyed and went home.

Fast forward a week later, and there is a part missing.  One of a set of eight.  It appears that when they inspected the truck and contents therein, somehow one of a set was lost.  It might have fallen on the ground and no one noticed.  Or, as Kevin joked, one of the agents took one to be "funny".  

This is where I tell you that there is zero compensation in these situations.  If you are pulled in for an inspection, the liability is on you.  The only way to address this is to return to the border and talk to an agent, which will most likely result in frustration only.

$30 and a week later, we replaced the part and  now we're trying to move on.  Kevin crosses the border on Saturday, albeit a different border, and is considering asking about it.

This is actually a boring border crossing story for us. Once I was asked what the nature of my relationship was to a friend whom I was running parts for.  This one triggered my feminist  side SO HARD.  There's the times (twice) that we crossed shortly after Kevin had radiation treatment and set off all the alarms ON BOTH SIDES.  Or the time I got pulled in  after midnight because I set off the alarms.  (the only thing we can think of was I picked up something at the racetrack) Or the time Kevin crossed with only a temporary ID and they did not see the humor in that.

Wait, funny story: when he only had temporary ID, he was escorted to the other border crossing office by an agent to be processed. (they had that border agent verify his citizenship).  I went to follow them and the agent curtly told me to wait.  Kevin turned and said "Stay!" with a dog training gesture and I replied "Woof", which is a long-running joke in our relationship.  The agent with him did not see the humor but we made another unrelated-to-the-situation agent laugh.

Or the time we had Canadian RCMP ask us if we would be open to being part of a drug task force K-9 training.  They hid drugs on our vehicle for the dog to find.  I thought it was the best day ever but Kevin was sweating bullets that the RCMP would forget and we would have drugs on us as we crossed.  They didn't and the agents thanked us for allowing it, many people don't, apparently.

So, yeah. Crossing the border can be interesting at times.  If you ever do, here is my advice:

• Pay Attention.  Wait your turn. Follow directions. (you assume this is obvious, it's not)
• Turn off your vehicle.
• Take off your sunglasses.
• Be PREPARED. Have your ID/passport.
• Roll down the backseat windows.
• I keep my door locked for safety but unlocking them is a courtesy.
• Answer the question asked.  Don't elaborate, they don't care and it makes you seem nervous.
• Be polite, be friendly.  It goes a long ways and yes, they will track your info if you're overly nervous, agitated or rude.
• Keep your hands in sight and/or your body movements calm.  Don't reach back behind the seat to show them your Championship Trophy in excitement, it makes them nervous. (True story. KEVIN.)

And Then There Was A Flood...

 As if we weren't having enough fun, there was a flood...because: of course there was.

6:00 on Saturday morning - a week ago now - Kevin work up then went out to the front room to discover the kitchen flooded and water spreading everywhere.  He yelled for me and I went out there without glasses and stepped into a lake of about 1/4-1/2 inch deep.  A broken pipe fitting under the kitchen sink had flooded the kitchen, pantry, laundry room, and common folk bathroom.  He got the water shut off to the entire house and the breakers off for all the appliances then we just kind of stood there in shock for a minute.  

LUCKILY I tend to hoard towels.  I had five stacked on the dryer that I was dithering about keeping or taking for donation.  Then I pulled the clean towels out of the dryer and the dirty towels out of the laundry. Every towel I could find in the house was put to use and then Kevin got towels from his shop. There wasn't a square inch that was not covered in absorbent material from one end of the house to nearly the other.

Kevin worked in the kitchen and I worked in the bathroom until we met in the middle. At one point, he mentioned "It seems like I got more done than you, what is happening?"  I laughed and replied "I'm saying this with love: EFF OFF."  He was so IN IT that he just couldn't see the big picture so he's forgiven.  He didn't see the closet that has the vacuum and carpet cleaner, the bags of pellets for the stove, the two heavy soaked rugs.  Whereas he had smaller square footage but had to deal with the recycling bins.  He was wringing his towels out in the garbage can and I was using the bathtub.  It was not apples to apples but apples to watermelon in comparison.

I threw the rugs outside and put the wet towels in the bathtub because no water and no power to the appliances, and omg I hated that.  We got out every fan we have and luckily have an industrial fan for the racecar that its intended use is Just For This Purpose.  Nephew came over and said do this, do this, do this and told Kevin what to get to repair the valve that broke.  (Nephew is a HVAC professional)

While simultaneously, I searched what to do in this situation and it was exactly what Nephew said.  Run the A/C unit is the first thing because it's a dehumidifier.  I didn't know that at all.  We turned on the air circulation fan for the furnace to help also.  Now everything is wet and everything is SO LOUD.

Once we got up all the water, we had to pull out every single appliance. There was barely any moisture under the brand new refrigerator (thank the universe) Then Kevin pulled out the dishwasher and the same situation.  I'm glad for that for two reasons: my f-i-l installed it and flooded the kitchen TWICE.  The stove (also new-ish) was just damp, no standing water.  I had said the DAY BEFORE that I needed to pull it out and clean it because of the gap between the counter and the stove. #JINX

Then the same for the washer and dryer, which also remarkably had little water underneath and the furnace & hot water tank were completely dry.  We wiped everything down and put fans blowing in the laundry room as well.

We cleaned ourselves up the best we could while without water and went into town.  We didn't get the part at the first store but we did at the second. We had a terrible experience at the first store and that's what we get for not going to the local hardware store FIRST.

We got Egg McMuffins for breakfast, let Lucy go potty, then went back home to the fifth circle of Hell.  While he fixed the sink, I cleaned up everything that I could, dumping towel after towel into the bathtub and mopping like a janitor on the Titanic.  Finally I used the carpet cleaner to draw the water out of the edge of the carpet.  We were insanely lucky that the water only went out maybe three inches in two areas of carpet and remained mostly unscathed.  

The "lucky" thing is that we had LVP flooring over the existing linoleum and that linoleum also was installed into the hallway/living room about three feet.  So under the carpet is padding then linoleum. Otherwise, we would have probably had to pull up the carpet.  Eventually I switched to a wet/dry vac and we got 85% of the water out of the carpet.

Then as I was trying to step over a cord between both the carpet cleaner and the wet/dry vac, I tripped and wrestled the carpet cleaner to the ground.  I just started laughing as I gingerly got up, testing for broken bones and blood. The fans were SO LOUD that Kevin didn't hear me fall.  I thought I got away with it until I saw that the fall had snapped the cord keeper off the cleaner.  I had to ask Kevin for help, who was both puzzled and amazed that it had happened.  He tried to fix it then sighed "I have to go out the shop..."  I said "It's just the cord keeper, I can live without it if it can't be fixed."  Absentmindedly he says "I can fix but you took the fucking player out of the game, man."  To which I started to genuinely laugh until I felt it start to convert to tears then I'm all NOPE.

Eventually I had to run to Walmart to get more fans and DampRid (which IRONICALLY has that new commercial where people are saying "DAMP!" like a curse word.)  Kevin started drilling stew can sized holes in the bottom of the kitchen cabinets to check for water between the floor and the cupboards.  I was having nightmares of having to get a new run of cupboards on that wall but also a little intrigued with the idea. Kevin just looked at me and said "Only if insurance pays for it." so that quickly ended that little momentary fantasy.  

Anyway, the main cabinet where the leak occurred had water underneath it but it easily cleaned. The island  strangely did not have any water, and the other cupboards were damp but not wet.  The bathroom cupboard had a little water underneath.  Could have been so much worse.

And then I will admit that we forgot three cabinets. This kitchen does not lack for cabinet space. The first one is the one right next to the sink. It was a separate unit and was mostly dry. We have zero explanation why we missed it other than the doors were open so our brains just skipped over it. The other two didn't get checked until the next day; one next to the refrigerator with no water present underneath and the one on the other side of the stove which was damp but not wet.

Now we have holes in the bottom of all floor level cupboards and fans blowing into them.  Timing was "perfect" as fans were on sale at the walmart for $13 so now we have three...four?...extra fans.  It worked perfectly though with fans blowing across the floors and also down into the cupboards.  It was Ridiculously Loud though.

 We  were thinking we had it handled when he realized we hadn't checked the heating vents.  The vents are what saved us a LOT of damage as they drained the water out of the house. The one in the kitchen had water, of course which then traveled to the bathroom, of course.  Finally, there was a little water in the vent in my office because they're all on the same chase. (new vocabulary alert!)

One of the suggestions was a dehumidifier so Kevin brought his in from the shop just to discover that it was broken.  I then bought a small dehumidifier for the bathroom as a precaution only to replace the one in the shop eventually.  We probably didn't need it but it's a source of information and comfort.  Although, this version has LED lighting for some unknown reason.  AND as if that's not enough: the light color changes so it's like a little water feature/rave.

Oh and the internet suggested hygrometers, which are super inexpensive.  Then I realized that our thermometers tell us the same information.  But now I've learned about water grains and what the average is supposed to be. (30-60%)  The nerd part of both of us keep putting them in different areas to measure.  To the point of multiple questions of"Where are the gauges...?"

Then Kevin went under the house, of which I am 100% NO THANK YOU.  It's too claustrophobic down there.  He said there was some damp insulation under the kitchen - by the heating vents - but it was surprisingly dry and what was wet was quickly drying.  Otherwise he couldn't see any damage.  Then later he and Nephew rechecked it and Nephew felt confident that we have addressed everything.  

Now we just were going to live with fans for as long as we could stand it.  The first night we each had headphones and just played with our phones until we went to bed exhausted.  The second night wasn't as bad as we reduced a few of the fans but the A/C was still on so it was chilly inside. On Monday I just went into my office and pretended nothing had happened.  Finally on Tuesday, the two industrial fans went under the house to dry anything that had possibly gotten wet.  The sound was less but the asthma yelled at me for a few days because of all the dust and damp. 

So, that was super fun.  Zero stars.  Everything is spotless now so I guess that's a good thing?  The other possible shiny side is that it made me reorganize the cabinets to a ridiculous degree.

Through this process I was so triggered by that situation. I immediately went back two years in time to the parents house and re-lived it but it's worse because it's Our Home.  All I could imagine is the contractors tearing up their house and finding problem after problem.  Their water leak was undetected for a long time though. We've done all the remediation and then some; so now we just have to get past it.  

There are still two industrial fans blowing underneath the house just to make absolutely sure there is zero water.  Nephew and one of the guys who is on Kevin's crew ( who was a general contractor) told him that while it's not bad that he's doing all the fans, etc., he can relax now.  So that's some relief.  

Other than a little swollen wood on the lip of the cupboard under the sink, we see zero damage.  It took two moppings to get the floor clean as everything came up from between the seams and under appliances.  But they said the LVP flooring is the best to have in a water damage situation so that's good, I guess.  Now it's been a week and the only reason one would guess there was a disaster is if they looked in the cupboard and saw the plates Kevin installed to cover the holes.

Everything is put right and the cupboards are SO ORGANIZED now.  As an extension of my Pantry Reorganization Project, every single cupboard has been organized and a load of donations have already been dropped off.

I put down two layers of shelf paper to cover the seams of the cupboards and the holes under the sink.  I don't care about the other holes in the other cupboards, Kevin put them way at the back so you would only notice if the cupboards were empty.  We said at least twice "That's the kid's problem now..."

We don't think it's an homeowner's claim but we notified the agent all the same.  That way if something suddenly happens, we have record of it.  We didn't get any photos because of OUTRIGHT PANIC AND DISMAY so hopefully those are never needed.

Finally, at the end of Saturday Kevin says that we're going out to dinner because no way could anyone cook in the kitchen right now. He asked the age-old question of "Where do you want to go?"  I responded "I don't know...does anything sound good to you?"  He sighs heavily and says "You know, we haven't fought through this entire experience. Can you just ANSWER THE QUESTION."

You gotta have a sense of humor through these things or life will kill you...