Complicated Crossings

 So, on par with living in the dumbest timeline: We were pulled in at the border.

Clearly, it was resolved as here I am so everyone: breathe.  Also, they're not interested in middle-aged white folks.  Until they are.

Long story, long: After achieving a goal and personal best with the racecar, we discovered that the engine had broken.  Again: dumbest timeline.

This began a search for what was seemingly way-too-difficult-to-obtain engine block. (don't worry, this won't be a car thing)  Luckily, our Canadian friends came through and not only found us one but also did the necessary work.

On Saturday, we went to the track to see our friends.  We crossed both ways with zero issues.  I deleted my bio-metrics off of my phone, just in case.  It seems paranoid but it is a recommendation if you're going through the border.

Then on Monday, we went through a different border to get the engine block.  (there are four available border crossings where I live)  We crossed through with no problem other than the "When was the last time you were in Canada?" - because they do keep track - and my favorite "Did you bring any drugs/alcohol/firearms with you?" To which I replied "We're not that kind of Americans." This made Kevin laugh, not so much the agent.

We went to our friends house, had a nice visit, then went back to the border.  We had paperwork from the machine shop and declared what we had brought back.  The agent sighed, gave us a slip of paper and pulled us in.  SUPER.

This is where I say Kevin and I disagree. I'm okay with lying my face off.  I've said no when I've brought stuff across (car parts, not illegal stuff) We've lied and said we haven't purchased anything but Kevin "declared" this time.  He should have said that he brought it up to them to have work completed and was returning, they actually LIKE that but will ask why you don't have the worked completed in the US. So, it's a thing.

Now, we've been pulled in before.  Usually you're met by an agent and walked to the office.  This time, we were met with a grumpy agent who asked us why we were pulled in.   Kevin explained and the agent said, and I quote "Shit..."  He cast a glance over to the booth who pulled us in and dejectedly said "Go inside..."

Kevin grabbed his paperwork and not his wallet. I grabbed my phone and my ID.  We walked in and approached the desk.  One agent was working with a couple and the other waved us forward.  Kevin explained what had happened and this agent also sighed heavily.  He took our paperwork and said he'd be back after inspecting our vehicle.

We sat down, as did the other couple. There was a family also waiting who had arrived before us.  Everyone is friendly but clearly nervous.

Now, I tend to get sassy when I'm nervous.  Just know that and keep reading. 

We waited like ten minutes and the guard returned.  He called our names and we began to approach.  Another couple approached the agent, who was of a very different ethnic background.  We paused and we heard the agent say "Are you Kevin and Surely Could-Not-Be-MORE-Causcasian-Surname?" knowing obviously that they weren't.  The  couple apologized and stepped back.  I mentioned to Kevin, "If this doesn't go our way, maybe can they be us?" to which I got the side-eye from Kevin.

The agent explained that because of the ACTUAL USE OF FINGER QUOTES "Tr*mp Trade War" there is now strictly enforced duty on metal.  Now I'm doing math in my head as to how much it is it worth to pay the duty and/or that we were going to have to return to our friends house to drop it back off. And how we could go through a different border and not declare....So the agent turned into Charlie Brown's Teacher for a moment.

When I tuned back in, he said that he would have to determine the ORIGIN of the manufacturer.  He said that he knew it was a fool's errand as that is nearly impossible to determine but he's required to do so.  We return to our waiting bench.

Cue me searching the interwebs as to how to determine  the manufacturer of an engine block. The interwebs laughed and said "It can be done but good luck with that."  A few minutes later, the agent returned and explained basically what I just wrote.  He said it could be made in Canada, the US, or Mexico, all of which are involved in trade agreements.  He made the determination that it was probably made in the US or Canada and because it's a resale, duty has already been paid so we were free to go.  Whew.  But first: paperwork.  

As he's working on the computer, another agent calls up the previous couple.  He has a plant in his hands (those are not allowed across borders) and he gave them the option of leaving it at the border or returning into Canada and making arrangements for it's shipping.  The woman looked dismayed and said "I guess we have to leave it..."  To which, I replied "I hope it's not their love fern..."  I saw the agent that was working with us duck his head a little so he got the joke.  Kevin just raised an eyebrow at me.  (love fern, for reference)

Few minutes later, we're released to leave with basically a note from the agent.  He gave directions how to leave and said something about the next agent will be annoyed if we go the wrong way.  SUPER.

We returned to the truck and Kevin had to rewrap and strap the engine block back down.  I closed the back door to the truck, where clearly parts and paperwork had been rifled through, and waited.

We left the correct way so the agent wasn't annoyed and went home.

Fast forward a week later, and there is a part missing.  One of a set of eight.  It appears that when they inspected the truck and contents therein, somehow one of a set was lost.  It might have fallen on the ground and no one noticed.  Or, as Kevin joked, one of the agents took one to be "funny".  

This is where I tell you that there is zero compensation in these situations.  If you are pulled in for an inspection, the liability is on you.  The only way to address this is to return to the border and talk to an agent, which will most likely result in frustration only.

$30 and a week later, we replaced the part and  now we're trying to move on.  Kevin crosses the border on Saturday, albeit a different border, and is considering asking about it.

This is actually a boring border crossing story for us. Once I was asked what the nature of my relationship was to a friend whom I was running parts for.  This one triggered my feminist  side SO HARD.  There's the times (twice) that we crossed shortly after Kevin had radiation treatment and set off all the alarms ON BOTH SIDES.  Or the time I got pulled in  after midnight because I set off the alarms.  (the only thing we can think of was I picked up something at the racetrack) Or the time Kevin crossed with only a temporary ID and they did not see the humor in that.

Wait, funny story: when he only had temporary ID, he was escorted to the other border crossing office by an agent to be processed. (they had that border agent verify his citizenship).  I went to follow them and the agent curtly told me to wait.  Kevin turned and said "Stay!" with a dog training gesture and I replied "Woof", which is a long-running joke in our relationship.  The agent with him did not see the humor but we made another unrelated-to-the-situation agent laugh.

Or the time we had Canadian RCMP ask us if we would be open to being part of a drug task force K-9 training.  They hid drugs on our vehicle for the dog to find.  I thought it was the best day ever but Kevin was sweating bullets that the RCMP would forget and we would have drugs on us as we crossed.  They didn't and the agents thanked us for allowing it, many people don't, apparently.

So, yeah. Crossing the border can be interesting at times.  If you ever do, here is my advice:

• Pay Attention.  Wait your turn. Follow directions. (you assume this is obvious, it's not)
• Turn off your vehicle.
• Take off your sunglasses.
• Be PREPARED. Have your ID/passport.
• Roll down the backseat windows.
• I keep my door locked for safety but unlocking them is a courtesy.
• Answer the question asked.  Don't elaborate, they don't care and it makes you seem nervous.
• Be polite, be friendly.  It goes a long ways and yes, they will track your info if you're overly nervous, agitated or rude.
• Keep your hands in sight and/or your body movements calm.  Don't reach back behind the seat to show them your Championship Trophy in excitement, it makes them nervous. (True story. KEVIN.)