My dad came home from "doing errands" (definition=old man goofing off) and began to tell my mom and I a story. Apparently, he had a friend named Arnold who has recently passed away, as has been happening more and more recently.
While my dad was at the bank, a mutual friend saw him and took him to the Legion. (another old man activity) The friend told the bartender that he was going to steal a glass. Thinking he was kidding, she just teased him back and told him not to take the big glasses.
Turns out, he needed one of the smaller glasses anyway. When my dad asked him what he was going to use it for, the friend told him "It's for Arnold."
My mom interjeced and said "He's playing a trick."
"No" my dad said "He's going to put it in his coffin"
"With a bottle of booze?" my mom asked.
"NO!" my dad replies, almost seeming insulted at the very implication. "It's in case he wants a snack!"
Turns out that in their younger days, Arnold would finish his drink and then eat the glass. Yes, you read that correctly EAT THE GLASS.
What's more interesting?...the fact that he regularly ate glass or the fact that my dad had a friend that ate glass. Of that, I'm just not sure.