Free Pass

The beginning of this post won't so much be timely but bear with me.

The Eliot Spitzer "scandal" has brought up a few conversations in this household. According to the New York Times, the scandal has kicked open the door for conversations in quite a few relationships regarding fidelity.

Firstly, this is kind of unrelated but it makes me laugh every time I think of it:
During all the press coverage the night the story broke, all I could picture was Hilary and Bill Clinton sitting at the dinner table eating when suddenly Hilary just bitch-slaps Bill without warning.
I can't imagine how PISSED she must have been that the whole Monica thing was suddenly again in the spotlight.

So, infidelity. It's usually quite the black & white topic. But for me it's not. Again, the time worn "There's three sides to every story" comes into play. I usually don't assume that the adulterer is automatically guilty. Do I place responsibility on the adulterer? YES. But there are usually reasons behind the actions. (sometimes simply the person is an ass)

There is a deejay in Seattle that often has his wife on the air with him. Her name is (I choose to think it's her radio name) Scallops. During this time, they discussed how Scallops has given her husband a one-time free pass. If he cheats, she would rather not know about it.

Before your head explodes, bear with me.

There are stipulations. It's a ONE TIME THING. The example she gives is that He makes a bad choice, puts himself into a bad situation, or they are simply not in a good space, whatever, and he has sex with someone. ONCE. Not a relationship: SEX.

AND only if he realizes that he's f*cked up literally and figuratively, and chooses to return to her forevermore.

I have to say I agree with her. If the MG lost his mind and did some chick but then realized his mistake and intended to never do it again, I would rather not know.

Of course, I say this knowing it's highly unlikely. (as he himself pointed out) But also, I know human nature and it causes us to do some pretty stupid shit. I would like to have a pass if that were ever to happen to me.

Dear Abby has written about admitting mistakes - inclusive of infidelity - and she says that sometimes admitting the mistakes only helps the person who made them. However, it destroys the other person. In that perspective: admitting it would be cruel and destructive when it didn't need to happen.

Of course there are many angles in which to look at this and I realize that I am probably in the minority. That's okay.

You may now proceed with the "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU THINKING!?!" comments....