I'm a total liar

I had errands to do and he was still there. So he had to come home with me.  Had to. 

More than a Boxful

I need to stop buying decorations, seriously.  These are all Halloween decorations.  Some of them can/will be held over through Thanksgiving but still.

This started because I worked at a school and could decorate my office & front desk.  Then I did it at my old work, just on a smaller scale.  This year I only have my house to decorate.  I fear that some of these decorations simply won't make the cut.

And we're ignoring the urge to go buy that ghost bobblehead that's been on sale the past few times I've been at the store.  I don't need it.  Except I do because I have a Frankenstein, a Witch, a Dracula, and a Scarecrow.

Faith in Humanity

Just in case you're feeling that the world and everything in it sucks, click through to watch this. 
Sometimes people are amazing.  Watch to the end, it's worth it.


http://www.komonews.com/news/local/-Homeless-teen-with-cerebral-palsy-now-safe-in-new-home-277427771.html?tab=video&c=y

Updated Search

Most recent adventures in the job search thing;

This morning I received an email that my ex-husband's dad's company is hiring.  Thanks, Universe, for the laugh.

I had an interview in a coffee shop.  That felt very Seattle.  It was for a tiny non-profit and would be working at home.  I don't know what I think.

I didn't get the job, as predicted, for the job that had all the hoops.  It was a good experience to go through, I guess.  Kevin questioned my sanity for doing it when I really didn't want it. The person who was being replaced was a part of the screening and I don't think she enjoyed me at all. That's okay though, I'm an acquired taste.  She didn't get a Doctor Who joke so I knew I wasn't interested after that.  ("It's bigger on the inside")

The company that required a Tony Robbins screening is, unsurprisingly, still looking for someone.  And still requiring that screening.  Perhaps they should consider taking that screening as well.

Otherwise, my days are still filled with Greys Anatomy, the puppy, a book, and whatever catches my interest.  

The Light is Changing

I've watched as the mornings return to darkness when Kevin leave at oh-gawd-thirty. He leaves so early and it stays dark for a while afterward that it's a little creepy if you have an over-active imagination.  I don't usually shower early during the winter months.

 I've watch the light change as it shines through the back door windows throughout the day.  Even here in my office, the sun stays behind the trees instead of pouring in the window most of the day. A month ago it was too hot to sit back here and write and now, it's nearly perfect.

The light is different when I walk to get the mail in the evening.  Now the road is in the shade and I can see the beginning of the sunset reflected on the neighboring hills.  It won't be too long and it will be too dark to walk down after Kevin gets home from work.

The sound is different as well.  Now there is a constant chorus of falling leaves.  The birds have quieted, with the exception of the bluejays, who are suddenly obnoxiously loud. And then there is the rain.  After a long, beautiful summer, the rain has returned.  It was gone for so long, it almost seems foreign.

It was a lovely summer and I'm a little sad to see it go.  I'm grateful to be able to watch the change of the seasons.

Good Thing/Bad Thing

Let's play Good Thing/Bad Thing.  We went racing, finally.

It rained all day on Friday
I was able to be snuggly in the truck and read all day (The Art of Arranging Flowers)

We didn't run well.
We figured out the problem.

We wore our new race team shirts
There was a little bit of envy from someone who will remain nameless

Our friend wrecked his car
Because of safety rules, he's totally fine.

Hotel for two nights...there are no bad parts of this.

Watched our friend race his brother's car for the first time since his suicide...this was good and bad.

I jogged a few steps, for the first time in 2 1/2 years.
It wasn't pretty.

Saw all of our friends for three whole days.
Now race season is over.

Vegas is in 52 days.

Who Locked the Door?

I just returned from doing errands to find my door deadbolted.  The only time the deadbolt is used is if I'm home alone and it's dark outside.  As my in-laws live right next door, our door is sometimes not even locked.  (Welcome, burglars reading this, come right in)

I can't figure out how this happened.  Kevin is at work and his parents were home when I left.  The deadbolt has to be locked from the outside by a key unless you're leaving via the window. 

Unfortunately, the first thing I did was look for damage or items missing but there was nothing.  Lucy wasn't even a little bit concerned as well.  As her super power is her nose, she would totally know if someone strange was in the house.

That being said, yesterday Lucy kept randomly barking.  Usually she'll bark if she hears Lucky outside or sees the bunny in the yard.  She usually barks with a purpose.  If she doesn't seem to have a purpose, I will usually say aloud "Stop making the puppy bark, Dad.  You're getting her in trouble."

So, of course, that's who I'm assuming locked my door.  We're being haunted, obviously.

Fall is here

Taken after a day of rain.

Social Media Woes

Kevin gets up at 5:00 am on workdays.  The other morning he mentions he got a facebook message overnight that he didn't understand.  He mentioned the sender and I cringed a little. Somehow a childhood friend of mine somehow managed to message Kevin.  A boy, nonetheless.  It took me a second to realize what was happening because: 5:00 am.

As one would guess, it was the drunk dial of personal messages.  Luckily and with great relief, it wasn't a "You up?" kind of message. Instead it used a horrifying childhood nickname that I loathe (based on wearing glasses) and was wanderingly about the racecar.

So, that was cozy.

Two days later, I received a call from a long-distance number I didn't recognize.  I don't answer any strange numbers so I let it go to voicemail.  It turns out it was a former employee who wanted to stage a practical joke for my old boss at the school.  Yeah, no, not happening.

Firstly, it's a girl that I went to high school with and I was friends with her brother back then.  When meeting her at the school, she totally denied knowing me.  This was a bad call as I was her boss but it turned out she was kind of a hot mess so it made sense in the end.

Secondly, I have no interest in a) playing a practical joke on anyone. I hate them and please take note of that people I know IRL.   2) clearly she didn't know that the relationship did not end well between the former boss and myself.  So I didn't call her back.  My voicemail message is generic so it wasn't obvious that I was purposefully ignoring her.

Thirty minutes later, I get a text stating that the prank is off because another employee that I also didn't enjoy couldn't make it so we would do it another time. But that we should get a drink sometime.  So, we're besties now.

This new social media world is messing with me.

Thanks for Habits

I misplaced my debit card today, well actually, a few days ago. The scary thing was the last time I remembered having it was on Friday at lunchtime. 

The not scary thing is that I'm a person of habits and systems.  Because I know and recognize that I have a short attention span, I have safety precautions in place.  When I get gas in the 4Runner, I put the cap on the tire so I don't forget and if it's the truck, on the toolbox so it's in my face.

The same with my debit card.  Nine times out of ten I will have left it in my pocket.  Usually my jeans but sometimes my hoodie.  Always the left pocket, more because I'm mostly left-handed than by design.  Once I left it on the toolbox and began to drive home.  By the grace of all things holy and sweet baby jesus, it was still there when I stopped.

So, when I was in town today I had a twinge of panic but not a full blown freak out.  Because I've met me.  And I've been, like, three places in seven days.  It really was a narrow field to search. 

But I still nearly dumped the 4Runner on its side to make sure I didn't throw it on the passenger seat or absentmindedly put it in the console.  Nope.  I did discover that a certain puppy sheds more than I realized and I need to vacuum.

The last place I could remember using my card was...sing along with me now, if you don't get this, we might not be able to be friends anymore...at the coffee stand.  (I had a half-day interview that was 11-4 and didn't allow time for lunch so I grabbed a smoothie instead. Who does that?)  It wasn't there though. I might have muttered.

I returned home and put everything away before starting to search because I can't focus in clutter.  Then I went to change clothes because this wearing pants thing is really starting to bum me out.  (Yes, I remember glorifying the wearing of pants after three months of not. I'm so over that.)  I looked in the pockets of the khakis I wore and it wasn't there.  I looked in the hoodie that I wore at the same time and nope.  Now, I am a little panicky.  I haven't been anywhere. 

I tried to remember what I wore over the last four days.  A purple fleece that I wore somewhere...totally can't remember where...and viola!  there it was, in the left pocket.

Let's hear it for habits that keep the absent-minded people like me in check.  

This is the Nonsense I Live With

One of the many fun things about living with Kevin, and there are many, are little surprises like these:

No, this isn't an official NFL candle.

Nor is this an extra-large coffee pot, quite the opposite actually

Hoops

Okay, this job search thing: OMG

One of the posts for an office administrator requested a PHOTO.  Yep, a photo of the applicant.  Yeah, so not doing that.  So, so, so illegal.  I really don't want to work for a company that has those kind of expectations so thank you, universe, for allowing that to happen.

Another posting requested a resume, a handwritten cover letter (I get that), and... a wait for it... a TONY ROBBINS PERSONALITY SCREENING.  I know, RIGHT!?!?!
I totally did  the screening, just out of curiosity, but I didn't apply for the job because: seriously.

Now, I'm on the second interview for a job that I'm not interested in, really.  The hoops for this one is many:
A human resources situation questionnaire.
An online skills tests for typing, alpha-numeric inputting, and 3 apps of the MS Office Suite.
Two 1-hour job shadows
1 and 1/2 hour sit-down interview

So, these are added to the list of interviews that begun with the 30-minute longhand essay. Sweet baby jesus.

I guess these tasks offset the ease of searching for employment via the comfort of recliner, on your own laptop, while watching Greys Anatomy, with a sleeping puppy on you.

All Together Now

Small vacation from the bloggity.  Apologies.  We have family staying here for a week or two.  Not "here" as in our house but in the neighborhood.  Time consuming all the same.  Poor Kevin is feeling conflicted because he feels obligated to go hang out next door but he's not a hang-out kind of guy.

The visitors are my father-in-law's brother and sister.  Uncle Jonny is one of those fellows that when he begins to tell a joke in public, you immediately begin to cringe and look for an exit.  Did I mention that he's nearly deaf?  Yeah, good times.

I actually adore him.  He has no filter at all and those are always my kind of people. He constantly has a glimmer of mischief in his eye.  How do you not love a guy like that?  Watching him with my father-in-law is like watching two little boys play together, both giggling and telling stories.  They wear the same shoes for eff sakes.  (Uncle Jonny lives in Northern California so we can't blame togetherness on the matchy-matchy.)

His wife is soft-spoken, I don't know if that's a result of their relationship or just how she is.  She has an interesting accent that I can't place exactly.  Might be New England?  There's a tinge of British in there but she's not at all.  They have three dogs and they all seem to be stinkers.  Luckily, they're all small dogs. (a pomeranian, a chihuahua, and a shih tzu)

Kevin's aunt is also one of my favorite people.  She has the best laugh.  She's gorgeous too; tall, thin, big blue eyes, snowy white hair.  Even though she is in her seventies, you feel like a wallflower standing next to her. But she's the nicest person with a sweet little dog named Trixie. Because we needed more dogs around here.  (right now there are nine dogs here)

Now we're waiting for another set of uncle/aunt and cousins.  It's about to get loud up in here.  Voice modulation is not a skill that this family has ever acquired.  It makes me realize that Kevin is genetically wired to be the gregarious guy that he is.

I'm hoping that his cousin Ronnie is stopping by.  Kevin is not like most of his cousins, I can sometimes spot a similarity or mannerism but mostly he's different from them in a way that makes me wonder about adoption. (haha...I think the time he spent with his childhood best friend more molded who he became)  But when Ronnie arrives, I immediately feel like "Oh, there it is.  There's the connection."  They are physically and personally familiar.  They even do similar work and have similar hobbies. 

Today is the official family reunion so I'll be called next door soon.  The cousin that no one enjoys has, of course, arrived early with extra (not invited) people in tow.  Oh, family reunions: you are the stuff that sitcoms and dramedies are made of.

Sometimes you get what you ask for

the view from the deck right this minute

 I remember a few months ago...actually Kevin reminded me during a particular whine session...that I just wanted to not have a crazy job with crazy people and I wished, WISHED, for a stay-at-home opportunity.  I would be writing, writing, writing.  I would submit the book to all the agents.  I would relax.

Yeah.

It's been a month and a half of being at home and I've done none of those things.  Well, I've written a bit but nothing to, hahahaha, write home about. I am bored however.  Bored out my mind, wandering the house, bored out of my mind. I guess that could qualify for relaxing so I can put a check next to that. 

I asked myself the other day what I would panic most about if I suddenly returned to work the very next day.  There really wasn't anything that immediately jumped to my attention. I mean, of course, I would be disappointed that I haven't written more but that seems to just be my general existence.

So, what have I done?  I've organized the house within an inch of its life.  I've read numerous books.  I've endlessly surfed the interwebs.  I've relaxed in the sun.  I've watched many hours of Doctor Who and Greys Anatomy. I've finished errands that kept getting ignored while I was working.  I've diligently searched for work.

I've also worried, falling down the wormhole of What if I never go back to work (unlikely), what am I going to do about our Vegas trip (out of my control), and losing all the progress that I built on being able to retire with few worries when the time arrives.  (Kevin is seven years older than I so this is going to take some planning)  This is pointless and stupid but there I am.

Anyone who consoles me with a "This happened for a reason" or "Better things are coming your way" is going to get poked in the eye.  I know the statements are true.  The rational, reasonable part of me knows this.  But the toddler in me is stomping my feet and flailing my hands in frustration.

Instead, I took the picture above and tried to just breathe.  And I sat down to write.