28 July 2020

Look at This Photograph

Leftover from the painting project is an issue.

There is a big collage frame that I'm not going to put back up because the frame is aged and more to the issue: I'm kind of over the photos. The condition of the frame is not the thing but this is: the collage has much older photos of my family and I'm feeling Meh about putting them back up. 

I mean, I get that the point of having a photo wall(s) is to have a visual representation of your life history.

But what if it's not a history you necessarily want to see?  
Because they don't feel like my family.  I can look at the girls or Little Nephew and feel happy.  Seeing photos of my parents or brothers, however, I've realized just makes me anxious or sad.

If we do math, I have been a Jones (not my surname) for almost thirty years.  I have only been a Smith (not my maiden name) for nineteen years, many of which I don't remember and some of which, I don't want to.  I has Satan's surname for less than two years so it doesn't count on a variety of levels.

So, anyway.  Some visual context: the main wall everyone sees has photos of Kevin & I, the fam, racecar, truck, and puppy.  There is a photo of Little Nephew and another of the girls, otherwise my family is not represented on that wall.  

On the opposite wall by my office, there are some photos of my family and other photos like what's on the main wall. A mixture of current-ish and older ones.  I have photos of my grandparents when they were young, because seeing them does make me happy. However, I haven't hung my brother's wedding portrait up yet.  (and I love my sister-in-law) 

You might be wondering: no, my family does not come to our house.  We stopped inviting them to an annual barbecue because they didn't ever come.  I don't have them up for the holidays because our house is tiny and not made for entertaining.  So, it's not like they're going to be here, look at the walls, and notice that they are not represented. 

If I were to channel Marie Kondo, this collage does not spark joy so leave it down.  But then what do I do with it?  Change the photos, and/or have Kevin paint the frame. Or store it in Monica's Closet, or rehang it.  Too many options for my busy brain so here we are.

And then as I was browsing the thousands of photos on my phone (not exaggerating) I realized that I can put our friends photos on the walls. Tah Dah! Problem solved! I like our friends. I have photos of them! They don't make me anxious or sad. 

I am going to pick my favorites (photos...and yeah friends, lol), order prints and put them into the frame instead.  Because they do make me happy and they are good memories.

Painting is just so complicated, who knew?  Lol.


Gigi said...

If those photos do not *spark joy* do not hang them up. Either place them in an album and/or scan them (so you will still have access), put them away or toss them (yes, I said toss. I also will mention that the thought of throwing away family photos is a tough one for me. Even when I have eight copies of the same photo or 5,000 blurry ones that are unrecognizable - we can thank my mother for this quirk).

The way I look at it is this - friends are the family that you picked. If they deserve the honor of gracing your home - then so be it.

Surely said...

Yes, I left them down. I am going to make the collage with our friends photos. AND i'm going to have Kevin paint the frame.

Funny that you mentioned getting rid of photos. That is on my list: physically getting rid of photos. Over the past years, everything is backed up so if i'm not framing photos or putting them in albums, away they go.