Two Hour Tour

 Wanna hear a horror story?  Okay, good.

Yesterday I spent almost three hours without a phone. 100% no phone, no social media, no texting.  100%  That sounds kind of good...and it would Have Been had it been planned.

What had happened was it was Friday and Lucy and I were on walkies.  Walkies were the first item on a long To-Do Agenda.  But it was Friday (my last off Friday nonetheless), it was sunny and breezy.  We had slept in.  It had potential to be a good day.

Then Lucy unexpectedly pulled on her lead and my phone left my hand, time slowed, and I watched my phone somersault through the air.  It landed on the gravel path, facedown.  While frustrating, I figured that the protector would...you know...protect it.  It didn't.

The screen was shattered and not just the protector, the actual screen.  Only 1/8th of the screen would light and the phone was vibrating.   That seems bad.  Not to worry, thinks the tech nerd, there's always something that can be done.  I held the power button down solid for a really long time and nothing. In fact, I think I heard the phone giggle at me.

Of course we're halfway through our walk so now I'm encouraging Lucy to hustle so we can go to the phone store.  She was not okay with this plan.  Which, fair enough, puppies don't understand that the human's lifeline was just obliterated.

Finally we returned to the truck and I decided to Not drop off recycling, which was less than five minutes away, because no phone.  If it weren't for the parents, I wouldn't have felt so pressed to fix the issue.  In retrospect, I should have just done it but here we are.  (it's now Saturday, mid-day, and I went this morning)

Once settled in the truck, I did pause and take off the case, then remove the broken screen protector in hopes of something maybe changing. Maybe the damage wasn't So Bad.  I even plugged it into the car charger to see if anything would change. Nothing. Not a doggone thing.  It was So Bad. It had hit and thusly cracked on the edge of the phone, next to the power button. This apparently is the kill shot.  (not a good feature of the beveled edge screen, if you have one)

We went to the store that rhymes with horizon.  I've always had good luck there and today that luck ran out: At Least an hour wait time.  He said it could be as less as 30 minutes but probably an hour.  I put my name on the list and returned to the truck with A/C and Lucy to wait.

But...now what?  No social media, no messaging. No MUSIC.  I had to sit there, like a savage, and listen to the RADIO.  (hey, local IRL friends: KBRC & KAPS are on the FM dial now.  Totally weird)  I am going to throw a book in the truck when I finish writing this.

You know what I hate?  Well, that but this too: Commercials.  And static.  And music that I don't chose.   #firstworldproblems #myprivelegeisshowing

I waited thirty minutes then returned to the store.  It would STILL be at least an hour, which is puzzling but okay.  I asked where else I could go.  Across the street to the big store that rhymes with test guy and I left.  They could make an APPOINTMENT for 3:00 pm today.  Because WHY NOT.  

Frustrated, I returned to the original store and they put me back on the list and it's STILL an hour, even though I just wasted 10-15 minutes.  So, I asked AGAIN, where else I could go.  Turns out there is an outlet in the next town, less than five minutes away from where I was standing. 

 PEACE OUT DUDE.

The store didn't look open upon approach, which would have been on par for the day.  But it was, there was one lone employee helping a woman in her seventies to figure out her phone. (literally: "I have my phone, check. I have my camera, check. I have my contacts, check" ad nauseum.  Again, completely on par for the day.

Eventually it was my turn and I have to ask: is it bad that he flinched when I held up my phone?  At least by that time, it had stopped vibrating.  Oh, and it would chime when I got a notification and I could see what app notification it was, I just couldn't get to it.

I had one question about the phone and then the race was on.  Kevin and I had just talked about new phones last weekend so I'd already decided what I wanted for When The Time Came.   I chose a phone (Samsung Galaxy 22) and a utilitarian case. (why do salespeople always offer me the glitter case?  Do I look like a sixteen-year-old girl named Cher?) 

Then I asked "Is it safe to assume that all the charging cords are different?"  

"Yes, and no." he says.  Then he picked up a black cube and asks if I have one.  It turns out that I did, it is the original end to the charger cable.  We don't use it because we use USB ports to charge.  I knew it was in a box, in Monica's Closet, and just all the sighs.

"Throw in a wireless charger" I answered.  We're at the Nothing Matters Anymore point of this adventure.

Then guess what...I couldn't remember my password for the account that all android phones need.  I could unlock my Phone and my Account but I couldn't open the app that I needed to do all.the.things.  Guess where my password is...in my contacts...in the phone I can't open or at home, twenty minutes away.

AND It just occurred to me that he WAS able to open my contacts, because they are stored in the carrier back-up system.  Mydog.

He put the screen protector on the new phone, something called liquid glass.  It's supposedly durable for people like me.  As he finishes, he mentions in what I can best describe as a Kindergarten Teacher voice "This has to sit, untouched, for thirty-minutes.  So I'm putting it back into the box and you can take it out after the thirty minutes is up."  And he did just that as he was telling me.  Fair enough, my man.

I went back to the truck and a tired/bored Lucy.  I told her that we would just go pick up groceries then we could go home.  EXCEPT.  Except I can't touch my phone for 25 minutes and I need my phone to pick up my groceries.  Sonofabiscuiteatingdog.

Okay, new plan.  "Would you like some FRIES?" I asked Lucy.  That's a dumb question, of course she would like fries.  We went through the fast food drive-through and Lucy shot me a look as I tucked the bag of food under my feet.  "Wanna go the PARK?  Wanna go to the RIVER?"  Yes, she did. But she also wanted fries.  

Two minutes later and we're at the park, sitting in A/C, and eating fries.  When we finished, I asked her "Want to go find SQUIRRELS?"  because at this point, I didn't have the energy to walk all the way down to the river.  We walked through the trees and she hunted and pottied then we returned to the truck.  It still hadn't quite been the thirty minutes.  Sigh. (benefit and drawback of living in a small town)

I drove to the grocery store, parked and unboxed my phone. It had been 35 minutes and I get a sticker for following the rules.  I started it up and plugged in the car charger.  I checked in via phone for my groceries then texted Kevin to tell him I was part of the 21st Century again.

My nerves had noticeably calmed by now, the food and walkies and no longer being isolated from the world had helped.  I started to make a plan "We'll go home, put the phone on the charger, unload the groceries, then I'll finish setting up my phone."  Lucy agreed but she wanted to stop at the coffee stand for treats first.  

As I was driving, I was trying not to awfulize.  I knew I had my password and that it would enable the retrieval of some of my phone stuff.  Usually when I get a new phone, I'll set the new and old side-by-side and set the new phone up accordingly.  I can't do this though and that had me spinning.

Additionally, I knew that one app doesn't have a backup feature, which has frustrated me in the past.  Yet, I still use it.  (the color notes app)  I knew my photos backed up as of midnight the night before so I only lost what I had taken that day.  

Unrelated, I've been working on updating the passwords list and converting it to a spreadsheet instead of written in the address book.  I had concentrated on accounts and wifi and such that I was worried about passwords for social media and apps. 

Then because there needs to be more proof that I'm such a nerd, I went to the photos backup and searched "screenshot" because I KNEW that I had at least one accidental screenshot of the home screen of my phone.  I did, it was a little older but it was a start.  

I made a list based from that photo.  I have three files on my home screen, because NERD.  One is "Fun Stuff" which is all my social media.  The other is "Nerd Tools" which is the calculator, calendar, Maps, weather, Shazaam and IMBD.  The last is Music and Books, which has my music apps, podcast app, and audible.  So, that would be suggestion to everyone: keep one screenshot of your homepage so if this ever happens, you have a baseline to begin.

At least now I had a plan.  Next up, go to the app store and download all the apps.  I knew it wouldn't restore everything but it was a start.  I am trying to ignore the passwords issues.  Download all the apps then worry about passwords was the plan.

And then Kevin's photo showed up on the home page.  Ooooh, there's a tiny glimmer of hope. I had my contacts and home screen.  Suddenly, I realized that I have become that little old lady in the store from a few hours before.  The universe thinks it's so funny.

I redid the pay app and it prompted me to call the bank. I glanced at the clock and it was 4:45 on a Friday.  Whew.  Five minutes later and that part was back up and running again.  Check that off of the list, grandma.

Kevin got home from work and wanted to go to dinner, which is unusual for a Friday.  (sidenote: he's still really tired from the Graves but he's trying to push through/pretend he's not sick)  As we were leaving the house, I realized that I still had to hook up my phone to the truck...and the other truck.  I still had to reload my music and dogdamn it, my downloaded music is NOT backed up anywhere.  Luckily, I only used that playlist for flights or when reception is bad so not all is lost, just add it to the frustrations.

It is simply astounding how much of our lives we have on our phones.  The phone book, the bank app(s) the music, all the social media.  All the tools that used to be found around the house - calculator, calendar, weather - are now stored in this little weird box.

We returned from dinner and I was still messing with my phone.  I wanted to check a ringtone and reached for my headphones.  Well, because of course, the new phone does NOT have a headphone jack.  Everything is wireless.  The earbuds Kevin gave me for Christmas are too big for my child-sized ears.  No worries, I'll grab my noise-cancelling headphones.  

And also NOPE.  It auto-connects with my old phone, which is STILL powered on and I still can't shut it off.  This renders the headphones useless until the phone battery is dead. (it's a little after noon and the phone still has 8% battery. I put it in my desk drawer because I just can't with that)

Kevin knew this was about to the The Thing that sends me over.  "Just order new earbuds" he says in the Hostage Negotiator Tone.  "Tomorrow" I sigh, with the tiniest of a pout.  Because I still have to log into the store app to buy said earbuds.

So, moral of the story: don't drop your phone is the obvious one.  The real moral is Back that Sh*t Up for all the stuff on your phone.  Use the carrier, use the android/fruit apps, use the manufacturer apps, use the app backup features. Use the google and the amazonprime features.  There really is just so much stored on our phones that we have to adult and do these things.  Learn from me and avoid this whole thing. *waving of my hands* 

And: additional happy ending: the notes app 100% restored somehow.  WHEW.  But I'm still going to use another one, just in case.  

And, and  I'm ordering Kevin a new phone too.  And times three: the charging pad is 100% whatever I paid for it.  Recommend!  

Finally, as Kevin patiently reminded me: it can always be worse.  A new phone is not the end of the world.  It just feels like it sometimes.