Telephone Whiplash

 (this post wanders a bit. I know, you're not surprised. lolsigh)

My phone is historically on silent most times, much to Kevin's dismay.  I mean, he gets to be frustrated when I miss calls because I forget that it's across the house and he's called three times with something important.  (this was pre-current situation, btw)  

In my defense, if any, is that usually it's right next to me or physically on me.  It's set to vibrate so that rattle is kind of my ringtone.  I used to have it also flash but that is unsettling so I turned off that feature.  It's synced to the truck so it's technically on while I'm driving.

And, to quote the interwebs, remember how we used to painstakingly choose our ringtones?

We got new phones in the middle of ALL THIS HAPPENING and I haven't found a ringtone I like so, that's just another reason to keep it quiet.  I had chosen one but Kevin kept saying it sounded like creepy Game of Thrones so I changed it.

One of the first thing that hospice tells you is that Your Phone Is Going To Ring.  My dawg, they are not joking.  And not just, like, the initial setting up of things where you expect it to eventually pare down.  It's every day.  AND my sister-in-law gets some of the calls.

It usually starts around 8:00 am.  Kevin checks in because he used to call his mom at that time but now that's not a thing.  Then the hospice calls start: nurse, bath aide, massage therapist, faith consultant, caseworker, triage nurse, status update volunteer.  

Then there's the pharmacy. Because of the situation, hospice orders meds in small doses.  So there's a notification to refill or nah or that the refill is ready.  

Plus cousins or friends checking in, which is appreciated. Not complaining about that.  

Then there's work.  When this hospice adventure began, I put out an email that said "No Phone Calls, Please" because I'm never sure where I am going to be.  Mostly, that has been honored.

I went from having very few phone calls to having them all.the.time.  If I'm at work, then I'm kind of in that mode and it's not a big deal.  Right now, if it's not a family member, I answer "Hello, this is Surely" which feels weird on your own phone.

The cousins communicate via messenger so there's that whole thing.  And Kevin sends me tickytock videos during the day to make me laugh and not burn things to the ground.  Again, these are both good things but that's a lot of notifications to add to the chaos.

Monday I actually had time to wander downstairs to see the m-i-l.  I *just* sat down and my phone rings.  It's an advocate I've been (impatiently) waiting to hear from.  I wasn't expecting a CALL but here we are.

Now cue me, motioning to the m-i-l and s-i-l that I have to take the call like I'm in some ridiculous sitcom. (not sure that I'm not, actually)    Then wending my way through the house, past the father-in-law, their dog and the siblings dumb dog.  Once I get through that obstacle course, my reward is about twenty steep stairs.  Then an uphill walk to the road and over to my house, then the length of the house to my office. 

I may have been wheezing.  Because instead of saying "Give me a minute" and phoning them back, I chose to chat and try to guess/answer their questions as I hike back to my office.

The next day I took Lucy for long walkies.  It's in a wildlife reserve and usually absolutely stunningly quiet.  I was doing a snap for my BFF K.  Then my phone rang.  First, I ignored it.  "I'm FILMING here!", I think to myself like some ridiculous influencer.  Then I realized the snap would feature my ringtone.  Gah.  And then I saw it was the caseworker for the state and I HAD TO take it. 

(Because reasons, the site won't let me edit the video.  Sigh.  this feels right.) 

Then I returned to the truck with Lucy and my phone rings AGAIN. It's an advocate with questions about a challenging family situation on her caseload.  Now I'm sitting in the sun, in the middle of nature's glory, with a happy tired dog, and talking about neo-natal drug exposure. Sigh.

Finally, one of the last calls yesterday was from my s-i-l, who usually texts so that didn't panic me at all.  She thought that having a little birthday party for the m-i-l this weekend might be nice and she wanted to know what I thought.  "Because we know this is her last one..." she says.  I agree and we disconnect while I try to not feel like someone just punched me in my feelings.  

And the phone rings.  Thanks universe, no pity party for me.  Then I get a sweet text from an old friend out of the blue so the pendulum swings back.

Oh, wait, while I was thinking of a title and how to end this, I remembered that while I was at the pharmacy, my phone chimed. My notification sound is The Jetsons.  I heard a laugh from one of the pharmacists.  Then while I'm waiting, she walks out and sings "MEET GEORGE JETSON!" and laughs then says "That makes me so happy!"