Dog Breaking and Entering

 Well, because this year simply cannot get any more dumb, I've hurt my knee.

Actually, no, *I* didn't hurt my knee.  The siblings dog did.  Please update your 2023 list to include:

Injured knee by 60+ lb. boxer dog who broke into my house

The siblings have a boxer and this is the second one they've had.  They're terrible at training their dogs AND it's a boxer.  I described it as "Poorly trained" and was corrected to say "Not trained". It has zero boundaries and I've tried working with her but a dog that isn't made to behave isn't going to change by any small attempts made by me.

Usually the dog is in the house during the workday.  On Monday, I was working in my office and heard the jingle of a collar that wasn't Lucy's.  I got up from my desk and went into the hallway to discover the dog bouncing back and forth because it's always over-joyed to see people.

Wait, you have to know that the first time she did this she peed on our brand new couch.  Proceed.

Lucy was on the people bed, sleeping, and she stayed up there during this ruckus.  Good girl.  I'm body-blocking the dog to get it to go down the hallway, through the living room, and out the door.  All the while, hoping it doesn't pee all over the carpet.  

I was nearly successful when the dog spun and body-slammed into my leg.  The leg that used to have eight screws and two plates holding it together.  Luckily, I was standing next to my chair so I could hold onto it and not fall.  And then just hold onto it until I could regain my composure.  I honestly thought it was broken, again.

It took my breath away and this is when I realized that my phone is on my desk, at the other end of the house.  And the dog is still in the living room.  Holding my breath, I took a few tentative steps to discover Not Broken but Definitely Hurt.  I got the dog out the door, slammed the door, then sat down.  

My knee swelled almost immediately and I sat there debating what to do.  Emergency room? Urgent care? Chiropractor?  I got ice, made a blanket fort on the couch for me and Lucy, and laid down.  After about an hour, it was still painful but obviously not broken.  I could wiggle my toes, bear weight and had mobility, even if it did hurt.

Clearly, I was done working that day too.  

Kevin came home a few hours later and asked what happened.  He was annoyed then more annoyed because he can't just call and say "KEEP YOUR DOG OUT OF OUR HOUSE" because a) there will be drama and 2) it's my father-in-law who is letting the dog out during the day.  Instead he asked about ibuprofen and ice and what I thought I should do.  I told him that I was going to see how it was in the morning then decide.

I couldn't get comfortable during the night, which didn't bode well for the situation.  The next morning, only my knee hurt.  When the dog hit me, I felt a pop in my ankle, leg, knee, and hip.  Now I could feel like my knee was displaced; everything else seemed in working order.  I phoned the chiropractor and got an emergency appointment; after hearing "You were hit by a what?" from the receptionist.

Our friend the chiropractor was incredulous.  He knows the family dynamic and everything that has happened this year.  He agreed that nothing was broken and examined my knee.  "It's very inflamed" he tsked.  He adjusted my ankle and my hip which really needed adjustment, probably the "pop" I heard.  Then did an over-all adjustment and checked my knee again.

He's always honest, which I appreciate.  "It's going to hurt, probably worse tomorrow then hopefully get better.  If by Friday it's not, you can come back OR go get it checked"  This is one of the reasons I like him, he will say "This isn't my area" instead of just having me return again and again.   

I went home after buying a brace and we rested the entire day. It still hurt but it did feel marginally better.  I had to make sure it wasn't a placebo effect though.  Then yesterday, I had a meeting at work so I put on the brace, took some ibuprofen and lots of water, and off I went.  It was at the college, not my office, so lots of walking, including stairs.  I did okay but definitely felt sore.  I made it back home and rinse/repeat: couch-ice-ibuprofen.

Later in the day, I was reading when I heard a scuffle outside on my deck.  Lucy had been laying on her blanket on the deck so I opened the door.  The effing dog is back.  This is where I explain that Lucy is thirty-pounds and eleven years old.  She cannot take a hit from that dog and that's what boxers do.  

I'm trying not to yell because it makes the situation worse. I'm blocking the door, yet trying to keep a small space for Lucy to sneak into the house.  The boxer, circles around her "playing", and slams her. Lucy growled and snipped at her then looked at me with an expression of "Sorry" and "Help" and I'm all GOOD GIRL. Then Lucy dove into the house and I again slammed the door in the dogs face.

I do feel badly because the dog is lonely and badly trained but to quote Kevin "We're not sacrificing our dog to train your dog."  I gave Lucy some CBD and we both took a nap.  At this point, I was able to walk a little without the brace but it felt risky.  Every once in a while, I would feel my kneecap "slip", which hurts a lot. 

Kevin came home last night and I mentioned that the dog was here again.  He immediately phoned his brother and said "The dog was here again today.  It knocked Surely on her ass yesterday and hurt her."  At first my father-in-law denied letting the dog out, LIKE WE DIDN'T KNOW DIFFERENTLY then admitted that he did "But I don't think she went anywhere."  

Sigh.

I think I'm going to be fine.  I don't think I'll need to go to Urgent Care tomorrow.  I will decide later today if I will go to the chiropractor again or just let it heal over the weekend while using the brace.  In fact, I ordered a different one that isn't so cumbersome which will be here today.  I am hoping to be annoyed that I won't need it by the time it arrives.

But I will have lost a week.  A WEEK of productivity because I got body-slammed by a dog.

Oh, and when I say "It broke into the house" I mean:  We have a big deck with gates off of the living room.  During the day, Lucy will lay outside on her blanket for hours.  Sometimes I leave the gate open so she can come and go as she pleases.  If I know the dog is out next door, I lock her gate so she can't get on the deck.

I also leave the screen door and door to the house cracked open so Lucy can come in without needing me. There is a big rock that blocks the door so it only opens about six inches.  Kevin hated this set-up until he was home with her for a week then was all "I understand now" because Lucy wants in/out/in/out/in/out all day long. This is our compromise.  

Also, if you thought "Well, just don't do that anymore" my response is It's my house that I would like to live in freely.  I shouldn't have to worry about a dog breaking into it. They should worry about Not Letting the dog break into it."  So, yes, I've thought about this a lot.

Usually Lucy will come in the house if she sees the dog come over to the house.  However, it appears that the dog has learned to check the gates to get onto the deck.  Also, it seems to do it quietly so it's in the house before I know it. That's what I mean when I say "Broke into the house"

So yeah.  If you need me, I'm the one with the brace and the cane, feeling my age and thinking about ordering a truckload of sage to cleanse me and everything I own.  2023 has been ridiculous.

Gratuitous photo of Lucy
sleeping on the people bed