Out of a Hat

 Okay, sigh, where did we leave off last time?  Oh, it was the end of the world after election day.  Oh, and the terminator died.  Then I went radio silent and my apologies.   However, you will soon understand why. 

Let's just start at the end, be it as it may.  There is still no obituary posted.  Yep, a month and a few days later and no obituary.  If you have been a long-time dear reader, you will remember a post about a year and a half ago that is probably itching your brain right now. The one where my mother left a yelling voicemail to me that I didn't tell her my mother-in-law had died AND that I hadn't put out an obituary.  YEAH, that. ("So My Mom Called")

And,  as you have probably guessed: there is also not a memorial planned.  This is where I explain that there was an ACTUAL VOTE and it was tied.  The person who can break the tie - and who is also the Executor of the Will - did not vote.  Their only response was to incorrectly correct the term Wake.

My mom has it stated in the will, the one we're supposed to be following because that was her final wish, that she wanted "a wake in lieu of a funeral."   They said that it was a Viewing.  Sigh.

Help me out, google:

Now perhaps you're wondering:

Is there no money for a memorial?  Yes, there is.

Is there a want for a memorial?  Yes, despite the tied vote. There are people in the community who would like to pay their respects.

Is there a convenient place for a memorial?  Also, yes. RIDICULOUSLY convenient and probably free.

So...sigh.  In this situation is both a relief and a frustration that I am not the executor.  Originally, I was designated the Executor, being the youngest, but it was changed With My Blessing.   Let's say if it had remained me, THIS SHIT WOULD BE DONE BY NOW.  

What else...oh, the house. The gdamn house.  It is supposed to be sold and split amongst the remaining children.  A sibling has an option to buy out the other siblings but it has to happen in a timely manner.  90-days, in fact.  We are now 33 days into the 90-days.  

THIS IS WHERE I SAY LOUDLY AND CLEARLY: this is not about the money.  This is about closure.

One of the siblings is "planning on" keeping the house, "contingent on" their house being sold.  So, that's whatever.  That's a whole other topic that is deep and a perfect example of this family but in order to keep this somewhat confidential, I'm not going into detail.

Meanwhile, the house is empty.  We spent days emptying it out and had an antiques dealer come out and buy a lot of their things.  So, now it sits empty. Did I mention that it had a rodent/raccoon problem? Oh I didn't?  Because of course it does.  

Also, that the original delay for the obituary is because the Boomer sibling - who watches a certain "news" organization - said that they didn't want her death to be common knowledge because "the homeless" will break into  the house and live there.  Dear reader, this house is almost twenty minutes away from the nearest town. It also has neighbors who live RIGHT NEXT DOOR.  But now, it's okay for it to be empty.  

AND why did everyone hustle to empty it out completely when one sibling is buying it remains a mystery.

So, clapping of hands, my part is finished.  I just have to wait to sign on the dotted line at the attorney's office when the time comes.  I have my hands full with my own life, I cannot take on theirs as well.

And yes, I do feel badly that nothing has been done to honor her death.  It could be said that it's reflective of the children she raised.  It could be said that people are making choices for themselves instead of for her.  However, this is not my problem to solve.  Somewhere in the ether, she may be frustrated that I'm not storming the gates to fix things, as has been expectation in the past.  But I'm not. I am not the executor and I have not been a part of the family.  This is not my job to fix.

Finally, I almost forgot this part.  This will end this will a huff of disbelieving laughter instead of screaming-into-the-void frustration.

The will states (paraphrasing) In the event that an agreement cannot be made regarding the ownership of the house - as in two or more siblings want to obtain the house and cannot compromise - the determining decision will be decided by....

Choosing a Name Out of a HAT.