27 February 2012

When Art Imitates Life

I finally watched Something Borrowed during the weekend. I loved the book (thanks, C!) and was curious about the movie. What I didn't anticipate was a rom-com kicking my ass the way it did. I mean, I read the book for Pete sake. I know what happens!

What I missed while reading the book is how much the bff Darcy was like a friend I used to have. Well, two friends actually. It seems to be a theme for me, choosing the "wrong" kind of friends. It brought something into specific, bright light that I hadn't noticed before.

I think that most people learned the friend-making skills as a child.  Like everything in my life, I am learning it now instead of then.  Now I know that having the fun, dramatic, scene stealing (if you will) friend can be entertaining, it is not the friend that you need when you're a grown-up living a grown-up life.

A person needs a friend that will support, without making it about themselves.  A friend that will draw boundaries when needed or be able to tell you the hard stuff instead of encouraging or allowing you to do the easy or wrong thing.

Once I mentioned to my sister -in-law that I didn't understand how I ever was her friend. She simply said "Because it was fun." I thought about it further, it was easier just to give over control or attention than it is to enforce a boundary and possibly have conflict. (us "damaged" kids avoid conflict)

If I have discovered anything in this little life of mine is that it is short, fast, and not being the center of your own life is a waste.

Who knew a silly little romantic comedy could be so enlightening?

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