For those of us just joining our little group, I can't have kids. It's a biologic thing that I've know since I was seventeen years old so I've had plenty of time to sit with this. Kevin knew from the first week of dating and frankly, he was relieved.
There was a time in our lives that we were interested in having a child by other means. We had two offers for surrogacy, one we considered and one we most certainly did not. Being in that situation is very strange indeed.
We also had two offers to adopt. Each situation different yet the same.
One child was headed to a foster home because the mom - a distant cousin from the black sheep side of the family - couldn't get her life together and was about to lose custody of her baby toddler son. My hand to God, his name was Tae Kwan. (as in tae kwon do) We decided not to pursue the foster-to-adopt because it wasn't guaranteed that the mom would completely sign off and walk away. (This is where I say that neither of us are fans of open adoptions)
The other opportunity was another boy but he was preschool aged. His mom was a teen mom and the former step-daughter of a friend. The mom was ready to give him up because she recognized that she couldn't do it and didn't have the support system to raise him. The boy was spending the majority of his time with our friends.
We really considered taking him and to be honest, I don't remember the exact reason we didn't but essentially we just felt like we weren't prepared. He was four years old, seemed to have some challenges, and was too close in relation to our really good friends. There were just too many cons on the pros/cons list.
Once again the facebook has provided a little peek into the future...or the past...I'm not sure which in this situation.
We are all still friends via the facebook with the friends who had the preschooler. (the couple divorced and moved away) We are also friends with their son who is now sixteen years old. (and GORGEOUS. Holy crackers!) Charlie is the same age as the preschooler we nearly took in.
Charlie posted a picture of the car his awesome dad gave him for his sixteenth birthday. A few comments were posted then a name caught my eye.
It stopped me in my tracks, all I could do is stare. What are the odds that it's him, I thought. Then I realized how silly that thought was, the odds are very good after all. I read his comment and realized that it was indeed him.
I thought about it for a minute then clicked on his picture. I can still see the preschooler in this boy. It's odd but if we had taken him, he would have physically matched our family. He would have resembled Kevin.
He is a musician but there's really not much else about him. I could ask our friends but that seems weird. It's weird enough that I cyber-stalked him.
It was just an odd moment, finding someone who could have been our son. A little peek into an alternate reality.