14 July 2013

Where I Whine to the Guy in the Wheelchair

Here's something that I've found curious: one is considered healed from such a thing as shearing the ankle after one year.  The bones have knit, the muscles and tendons have supposedly rejuvenated, and while still not 100% "right", everything is considered healed.


Except that one is considered healed even though medication is still required.  How can that be?  Now it's not like a heart issue or a mental illness.  It's bone, nerve, tissue, muscle, and tendon damage.  Things that are supposed to heal and never be mentioned again.

I just don't feel like it's healed if one still requires medicine to keep symptoms away.  Maybe it's me, pouting because I don't like medicine.  Maybe it's me and I don't want to consider that I'm not going to be 100% ever again. *stomping my good foot*

I am trying to rationalize that I wear glasses because I need them so why am I fussing that I need to take tylenol and nerve blocker daily?  If I were to take medicine for any other ailment that one regularly takes medicine for, would I feel any differently? If this were for Kevin or a parent, would my opinion be different?  Probably.

I guess I'm just still frustrated that I'm not 100%.  I just need to get over myself.

Last weekend I had a wonderful conversation with our friend Jason, who is my age and has been in a wheelchair since he was eighteen.  I expressed frustration with my current state.  He completely understood, stating "I still get frustrated and it's been years."  He said that no matter what your state of mind is, your health, whatever, it's still just frustrating sometimes.

It's difficult to feel sorry for oneself when you're talking to your wheelchair-bound friend.  I even told him that when I was in the wheelchair and would get mad, I would try to talk myself down off the ledge by telling myself "Jason does this every.single.damn.day with no hope of ever getting out. You will be out of this chair soon so STFU."  He laughed, as I knew he would.

Then we talked about how lucky we are with medical advancements now. If a person thinks about it, if this had happened to either of us just over one-hundred years ago, our outcomes would be drastically different.  Jason probably wouldn't be alive due to health ailments related to paralysis and I would probably have a wooden leg.  

We came to the mutual conclusion that we should both be grateful and deal.

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