12 August 2014

Broken Parents

One of the things that I've realized is that friends often bond or are attracted by similar interests or circumstances. Not just "Oh, I like that book too" but socio-economic standards, religious beliefs, sports even.

Now that I'm an adult (sigh) and have lived a bit of life and have gained some perspective, I've noticed a common thread in the core group of friends when we were in high school.

Broken parents.

I, as we well know, was raised by alcoholics.
Another friend was, as well.
One friend was raised by a single parent, with little/no knowledge who their father was.
One friend was essentially raised by a single parent as one was often absent.
One friend was raised by two parents, one of whom was a Holocaust survivor and battled deep anxiety and depression.
One, I just learned, lost a parent to suicide. (effing depression)

This seems was our common thread: broken parents.  Single parenting wasn't common when I was young.  Also, one didn't talk about substance abuse or mental illness then.  We didn't talk much about it then yet still found each other and bonded. We recognized the broken-ness of one another.

I wonder what would have happened if we had known then what we know now.  We all turned out successfully in our own rights.  What would have become of us if we'd shared more about one another?  Maybe nothing, maybe we wouldn't have bonded more because teens are not always the most compassionate bunch, or maybe we would have been better.

It probably doesn't matter because we did form our own little group, with it's effed up little world, and now thanks to social media, most of us maintain regular contact.  Perhaps now that we're grown and (hahaha) mature, we are able to understand what the other had been through more than when we were fifteen. 

Maybe it matters more now than it did way back then.

1 comment:

Gigi said...

I think you are right..."broken" people do find each other. And it's either a really, really good thing or it's a very, very bad thing.