16 August 2014

Not in the House!

Lucy is a hunter, she is a hound/beagle mix.  She has caught moles, snakes, shrews, mice, bugs, and probably many more things that we're simply not aware of. 

Now that I'm home, she isn't on a cable run during the day.  We've negotiated keeping the front door open so that she can come and go.  She's only two years old so I can't just ignore her or she'll be in Texas before I even know what's happening. With that, she is getting better at staying in the yard and I'm getting better at not freaking out if I don't see her in the yard.

I was working in the office on the laptop.  It had been a few minutes so I went to look outside for her.  When I walked into the living room, I was pleasantly surprised to see her playing wit her toys.  But she looked guilty.

Walking around the couch, I was telling her "Good girl staying around the house".  She came toward me and well, the toy she was playing with MOVED.

We usually buy her the brightly colored, non-realistic appearing toys.  The realistic ones just make me uncomfortable.  That being said, I did buy her one that looks like a mole and another that looks like a hamster/guinea pig hybrid.

So, of course I thought it was one of those toys and an optical illusion.  IT SO WASN'T.

Lucy had caught a mole and brought it in to play with and share with me.

I KNOW RIGHT!?!?!?!?!

My first instinct was to command Lucy to "bring it here."  I started to say it and Lucy started to respond and I admit: I panicked a little.  "No, Lucy, leave it!"  Now she looked like she was in trouble.  And policy is that she gets a treat when she catches a mole so mixed messages much?

I took my phone and Lucy outside and went to retrieve a shovel.  I called Kevin and when he answered I said "We have to move. Now."

He didn't even get a full sentence out when I probably shouted "SHE CAUGHT A MOLE AND BROUGHT IT IN THE HOUSE."

"Is it alive?" he asks, not just a little bit laughing.

"It effing MOVED."

"Get it out of there"

"What in the name of all things holy do you think I'm doing right now?"  (Because, really?)

I hung up with him and took the shovel into the house. I tried to leave Lucy outside but she wanted to play with her new toy and I couldn't close the door and get the mole out easily. 

I went to go get it but thought "I'm taking a picture, just in case."  I quickly took two and then girded my loins for mole removal.

I slide the shovel underneath the mole and it wiggles.  It's on its back because after being the Best Toy Ever, that's all that it can do. THANK GOD. Wiggling is unacceptable.

I freaked out a little then tried again.  It finally kind of rolled onto the shovel and I hurried outside and flung it out into the void that is our lower property.

Lucy was most displeased.  So was I, just for very different reasons.

I went inside and gave her the treat for being a good girl.  Then I texted the picture to Kevin.  One minute later I got a call "You DID NOT just send me a picture!!!"  I laughed and told him that if I had to get a mole out of the house, the least he could do is look at a picture of it.

I'm still completely SQUICKED out so we will never talk about this again.  But it was too good of a story not to tell.


Gigi said...

Oh My God! You are a better woman that I, because I would have just left; never to return.

Surely said...

Oh, I so considered it. It was three o'clock so it would be three hours until Kevin returned from work so leaving it wasn't an option.

Option #2 was getting my father-in-law from next door but I didn't want to hear his sassing and I didn't want to leave the house for that long and risk a sudden recovery.

Instead I cursed and shuddered A LOT. SO MUCH SQUICK!!