Support Your Local Sheriff

If you're just joining our program in progess, here are the first two posts:

http://justabunchofsilliness.blogspot.com/2008/06/this-stuff-only-happens-to-me.html

http://justabunchofsilliness.blogspot.com/2008/10/plot-thickens.html




So, the latest chapter in the whole Pretending to be an Officer adventure is this:

The County called me last week and said that the Sheriff's department would be contacting me sometime this week and they would need a report. Okay. Well, not what I want to do necessarily but whatever.

And then, I am reading the paper online on Saturday night when a headline catches my eye:
"Sheriff Seeks Information on Cop Impersonator"
Wait, what?

I clicked on it with dread and read the article. It happened a few miles from the house. The guy had a different car but the general description sounds the same.

What Kevin noticed is that he told this girl "You can go now" which Kevin remembers me saying. Eeew, so very Lifetime Movie Network!!!

First thing Monday morning I called the Sheriff's department and reported what happened to me. They took my information and said an officer will call me back. So, I drove to work. I was just getting into town when the officer called.

I re-explained everything and answered a few questions. He thinks for a minute and asks:

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm on my way to work."

Long pause that one takes when speaking with a slow child..."I mean, where are you located?"

I laughed and told him then offered to turn around and go to the office. He declined saying he didn't want to sit at his desk this morning. Already I like this guy! He'll just meet me at my house.

Then he said "In the meanwhile, can you give me the license plate?"

I told him I could but he would have to wait as I was driving.

Again, a long pause..."You wouldn't be talking on a cell phone while driving, would you?"
(soooo illegal in WA. State)

I did an over-dramatic intake of breath "Oh! I would NEVER!" and laughed.

He laughed too and said "I had to ask. I'm not going to do anything about it but I had to ask."
Again, loving this deputy.

I went back home...oh darn, I had to be late for work, what a burden.

He showed up a few minutes later. The dogs were very excited to have company. He pets them and says cheerfully "You have REAL dogs!!"
Wait, what?
Turns out he has an elderly Weiner dog and can't wait for it to pass so he can get a real dog.
I mentioned that a new puppy would probably precipitate his passing quick quite nicely.
He looked at me strangely and then laughed out loud. "I don't want a new dog That Bad"

So, being a writer/blogger/OCD person I had everything printed out for him. He was very pleased. All I had to do was sign it and I was good to go.

Then he launches into questions about the HOUSE! Square footage? hollow core doors? 2x6 construction? I'm answering his questions with a tinge of WTH and then he explains he's trying to convince his wife to buy some property, etc. So I invited him to bring her by!
Again, he looked nonplussed. I'm sure that's not an offer he gets regularly.

I walked him out to the car, he asked a few more questions, he told me NOT to stop next time but to call 911. He expressed frustration because this damages their image and good will, which I thought was kind of sweet.

Then he called me "Kiddo". I laughed out loud. He's the same age as Kevin and his birthday is three days before mine. "Kiddo" Too funny.

Now, I wait. They'll call me. I may have to go the office and be interviewed; which will just give me something else to write about so no worries.