Like a Dancing Chicken

Members of my family believe everything on the internet, or the news. This is why I didn't include FOXNews on the menu of their satellite television.

Tonight's topic was whether or not cellphones emit enough radiation to pop popcorn. Kevin, ever the skeptic and truly the smartest guy I know, called bullsh*t. His brother showed him the YouTube video proving the "fact." Kevin remained skeptical.

So I had him look up WikiAnswers because I didn't think about Snopes for some reason. By the time he got to the site, my ever-so-nimble nephew had already been to Snopes and said "No, because if that were true: Your HEAD would EXPLODE." Fair enough.

Alrighty then. Certain members of the family remained skeptical. Finally Kevin explained "All it would take is them to light a torch under the table to make the popcorn pop. Kind of like the Dancing Chicken."

I know, right? I am not sure what all goes on in his brain.

So then he brought up Howard Stern because he is the definitive argument settler. Howard is paranoid that he is going to get a tumor from all the cellphones, WiFi, etc floating around his head. He has apparently done extensive research on the topic and pronounced it bunk.

As Kevin is explaining this, he lost the word "Neurologist". Ever so quickly he says: "I am sure that will all the research he's done and all the brainaticians that he's talked to, if it were true he would say."

Brainaticians?

He just smirked. "It was all I could come up with. It worked didn't it?"

Welcome to my life. Jump in, the water's warm.