Leap Day

“Today is an ephemeral ghost...

A strange amazing day that comes only once every four years. For the rest of the time it does not "exist."

In mundane terms, it marks a "leap" in time, when the calendar is adjusted to make up for extra seconds accumulated over the preceding three years due to the rotation of the earth. A day of temporal tune up!

But this day holds another secret—it contains one of those truly rare moments of delightful transience and light uncertainty that only exist on the razor edge of things, along a buzzing plane of quantum probability...

A day of unlocked potential.

Will you or won't you? Should you or shouldn't you?

Use this day to do something daring, extraordinary and unlike yourself. Take a chance and shape a different pattern in your personal cloud of probability!”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Savvy

What is the coolest thing you heard today? The coolest thing I heard today was this:

I took a call today from an obviously elderly woman who had questions about the YW.  Somehow being online came up and she told me that she had a computer and could even email. 

I admit I was a little "Oh how cute" then she proudly tells me "I have an IPhone too!"  She continues "I text my grandchildren and even send them Pictures!  I have to admit that I'm pretty good."

Hoping not to sound condescending, I said "Wow, that is impressive!"  She laughed and responded "You have to keep up, you have to learn new things!"

She makes me hope that I will be that savvy when I am
EIGHTY-THREE YEARS OLD!

I know, right?

When Art Imitates Life

I finally watched Something Borrowed during the weekend. I loved the book (thanks, C!) and was curious about the movie. What I didn't anticipate was a rom-com kicking my ass the way it did. I mean, I read the book for Pete sake. I know what happens!

What I missed while reading the book is how much the bff Darcy was like a friend I used to have. Well, two friends actually. It seems to be a theme for me, choosing the "wrong" kind of friends. It brought something into specific, bright light that I hadn't noticed before.

I think that most people learned the friend-making skills as a child.  Like everything in my life, I am learning it now instead of then.  Now I know that having the fun, dramatic, scene stealing (if you will) friend can be entertaining, it is not the friend that you need when you're a grown-up living a grown-up life.

A person needs a friend that will support, without making it about themselves.  A friend that will draw boundaries when needed or be able to tell you the hard stuff instead of encouraging or allowing you to do the easy or wrong thing.

Once I mentioned to my sister -in-law that I didn't understand how I ever was her friend. She simply said "Because it was fun." I thought about it further, it was easier just to give over control or attention than it is to enforce a boundary and possibly have conflict. (us "damaged" kids avoid conflict)

If I have discovered anything in this little life of mine is that it is short, fast, and not being the center of your own life is a waste.

Who knew a silly little romantic comedy could be so enlightening?

Size Matters

I found these bowls at Haggens (local, high end grocery store) and have coveted them for about one month.  Finally as I saw the stock dwindle and I chose these two. There were also navy, hunter green, and dark red.  The yellow & orange called to me though.  Maybe it is because we had dishes of these colors as a child.

Kevin scoffed at these and said they weren't bowls.  The sign said they were ramekins but they don't look like them.  They hold one, maybe two, scoops of ice cream or 3/4 cup of cereal.

That's precise, you're thinking.  Upon Kevin's scoffing I told him that they were cereal bowls for me and were probably the correct portion sizes, especially compared to the bucket size bowl he uses for cereal.

To prove a point, I actually measured and viola! so right!!! I love it when that happens.

Moo

Kevin is notorious for saying things incorrectly on purpose.  "I used to was..." and "I are...".

After twenty + years of being together we have also developed a shorthand of sorts.  It's often quotes from movies or referring to something that had happened in the past.  We've been known to have a complete conversation without actual verbs.

As I have mentioned, I love the show "Friends".  It really is my go-to sitcom.  I tweeted the other night that falling asleep while watching "Friends" is like falling asleep at a party with all of our besties.

If you are also a fan then you know that Joey is not so smart sometimes. Because of Joey, we say "moo point" instead of "moot point".

Like this:



So I say this all the time.  I don't even think about it.

Enter my new boss.  She had been working with me for about two months when I said it.  I know that I had said it previously on numerous occasions.  Finally, she just looked at me and said "You know you're saying that wrong, right?"

I laughed out loud.  Finally someone said something!  Someone noticed!  And really? Scooby Snacks to her for calling me out on it.  Although I suppose she didn't want people to think she had an idiot working for her.

It's a moo point.

Random Item of the Day

This picture is in our kitchen.  Kevin's mom gave it to us when they closed the Moody House and moved up here.  It is one of Kevin's prized possessions.

The picture is of a coffee shop in  Bellingham back-in-the-day.  The last dark haired girl was Kevin's grandma.  She was originally from Australia, sent to Canada as a mail-order bride, then moved to a tiny border town in Washington. I wish I could tell you she had a happy life but it's just not true.

Looking at her, a person can see The Sisters as we call Kevin's mom and her siblings.  She has a haunted air about her that is present in every picture that I've seen.  She died happy, at least, surrounded by her family in the Moody House.

Staring into the Looking Glass

For those of us just joining our little group, I can't have kids.  It's a biologic thing that I've know since I was seventeen years old so I've had plenty of time to sit with this.  Kevin knew from the first week of dating and frankly, he was relieved.

There was a time in our lives that we were interested in having a child by other means.  We had two offers for surrogacy, one we considered and one we most certainly did not.  Being in that situation is very strange indeed.

We also had two offers to adopt. Each situation different yet the same.

One child was headed to a foster home because the mom - a distant cousin from the black sheep side of the family - couldn't get her life together and was about to lose custody of her baby toddler son.  My hand to God, his name was Tae Kwan. (as in tae kwon do)   We decided not to pursue the foster-to-adopt because it wasn't guaranteed that the mom would completely sign off and walk away.  (This is where I say that neither of us are fans of open adoptions)

The other opportunity was another boy but he was preschool aged.  His mom was a teen mom and the former step-daughter of a friend.  The mom was ready to give him up because she recognized that she couldn't do it and didn't have the support system to raise him.  The boy was spending the majority of his time with our friends.

We really considered taking him and to be honest, I don't remember the exact reason we didn't but essentially we just felt like we weren't prepared.  He was four years old, seemed to have some challenges, and was too close in relation to our really good friends.   There were just too many cons on the pros/cons list.

Once again the facebook has provided a little peek into the future...or the past...I'm not sure which in this situation.
We are all still friends via the facebook with the friends who had the preschooler. (the couple divorced and moved away)    We are also friends with their son who is now sixteen years old.  (and GORGEOUS. Holy crackers!)  Charlie is the same age as the preschooler we nearly took in. 
Charlie posted a picture of the car his awesome dad gave him for his sixteenth birthday.  A few comments were posted then a name caught my eye. 

It stopped me in my tracks, all I could do is stare.  What are the odds that it's him, I thought.  Then I realized how silly that thought was, the odds are very good after all.  I read his comment and realized that it was indeed him. 

 I thought about it for a minute then clicked on his picture.  I can still see the preschooler in this boy.  It's odd but if we had taken him, he would have physically matched our family.  He would have resembled Kevin.

He is a musician but there's really not much else about him. I could ask our friends but that seems weird.  It's weird enough that I cyber-stalked him.

It was just an odd moment, finding someone who could have been our son.  A little peek into an alternate reality.

Quote of the Day

We're all a little weird.  And life is a little weird.  And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love.  ~Robert Fulghum, True Love

Wanna Go For Coffee?

While talking with a friend today, and by "talking" I mean messaging, I had an insight that I hadn't fully considered before.

As much as the internet has made the world significantly smaller, it also has made the world more insular.  Many of us have far-away-friends or e-friends that we've never actually spoken to. 

Yet we know the day-to-day details of each others lives.  We know nicknames, habits, and many of the traits that one used to list on those seventh grade friendship quizzes.

While this is lovely, this expansion of our world, the addition of friends that we would otherwise never know, it has a strange side effect.

Loneliness.

But wait, what?  I just said that we had MORE friends than we ever would have pre-interwebs, I just said we were More knowledgeable about the people in our lives so what the eff with the loneliness?

With the push of a button, the click of a mouse, our friends are there. Virtually. They are there. We get caught up on gossip, moods, and milestones.  We even "chat".

But as my friend pointed out this easy access can actually isolate us.  We know information but we don't necessarily connect or bond.  We're not intimate, even though we believe that we are.

This is not to diminish how nice it is to keep up with each other via the interwebs or to imply that I am ungrateful for my far-away friends. 



As for myself, I am forgetful.  I write here nearly every day.  I write about whatever is going on in my head in that moment.  Like after today's chat, as I was thinking about it, I planned on writing about it.  I wanted to share what I was thinking about because my friend pointed out an issue that I hadn't considered. So of course I want to share it with my friends for discussion.

I might write about Kevin being sick but did I tell bff's C & K?  Nope.  I can't tell you why, it just seems easier to write it here.  Or I'll have a sarcastic thought and tweet it instead of the email, note, or phone call that I would have done in the past.

I often wonder if I remembered to tell my friends or sister-in-law something and realize that I didn't.  I think it's because I thought I already had, I wrote it "somewhere".

Also, as my friend pointed out, we have the tendency to hibernate instead of going out. Coffee dates aren't as easy as logging in.  Scheduling get-togethers take too much time when we can catch up while laying in bed with our laptops and smart phones in mere minutes. It's easy to catch up via electronics instead of in person in this busy world.

On a positive side though, us socially anxious folk feel better with this ease of logging in and catching up.  It's not as stressful, not as anxiety making, and so much easier to stay in touch.

So, here's the thing.  I will make an effort to send that email, make that call, or go have coffee.  While we will each understand that while this whole interweb thing is easier, we have to actually See and Talk to each other.

Join me, won't you?

The Tortoise

I have posted before about the Parkinson's dance class that happens here at the YW.  It's probably one of the more inspiring things I have seen in my lifetime.  The instructor, Pam, is one of the most kind and positive humans.

I am going to use her words to describe the video:

 Without further ado here is our friend Rick, a poet, writer, and smartass.

Things are Fine

So, of course, in the middle of everything that's been going on Kevin has been sick. Well, sick isn't the right word. "Symptomatic" is the right word but we've both become to loathe that word. 

We just passed the six years mark in November from his whole Graves Disease adventure.  Six years since radiation & treatment and he had almost a full-year without the requisite blood test & exam, the first full year ever. (considered remission, like but not even close to leukemia)

His symptoms began acting up again about one month ago. We attributed it to the stress of his mom being sick, the snow week, and some drama from the racing org we used to belong to. 

Then time passed and things weren't getting better.  Fret.  We made some adjustments and things didn't get better.  Double fret.

BTW ~ this is where I say THINGS ARE FINE ~

He is a very good patient in the fact that he sees a doctor when something is wrong and follows instructions to the letter.  He made the doctor appointment, did the blood test thing, and we waited.

He just called to tell me that he's okay and that his meds are being adjusted. He was running a little "fast" or "high".

The only bummer is that it can take up to ONE MONTH for everything to subside and level.  One month.  Gah.  There are some smaller adjustments to make and that's okay, we've done those before.  It could be So Much Worse in the grand scheme of things so really, we have no room for any sort of attitude.

We were just a little disappointed because we were both "You got this" and it just feels a little like God/The Universe/Whatever just gave a little push and said "Nope, you don't."

Because, really, we both know that this is going to happen. This is how it is. But for a while there, we forgot that 2005 ever happened.

Now Heidi Can Get Married

I am a Howard Stern fan.  I realize that the line is pretty dark and deep between people who like Howard and people who don't.  I understand.  He can be a bit much at times.  However, you will be hard pressed to find a better interviewer than Howard.

Howard is also a defender of equal rights.  His rant this week about gay rights was epic and true.  Even though it's obvious, I feel I must say NSFW or around kids and it is harsh & crass at times:




I was not surprised that Michelle Bachman had something to say about he calling her one of the two worst people in America.  What did surprise me is that she paraphrased the speech from The American President in her response.  It's like she thinks we're all too stupid to figure it out. 

"These are serious times, and our nation faces serious issues. The direction that America is headed requires serious discussion by serious people, and Howard Stern is not a serious person" michellebachmam

"We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President" Aaron Sorkin

*facepalm*

I guess I just don't understand how things like this are happening without people pointing it out.  The above MB quote was posted on the Huffington Post and even they didn't point out the similarities.

This is where Howard Stern has earned my respect for using the power of his listeners for good.  He points out the haters and the morons (his word) and let's us know that  the media isn't always straightforward and balanced. He reminds us that not everyone thinks like they portray.


Please join in my in doing the happy dance for the repeal of Prop 8 in California. Let's hope it turns the tide in a positive direction.


It's also with happy anticipation that gay marriage in Washington State will be signed into law this week.  I cannot wait to call Heidi, the girl I call my sister, to celebrate upon it's signing.  I cannot wait for my small corner of the earth to be one of eight states to offer full human rights to all citizens.

The One Where I Clearly Have Issues

I know, I know, you guys already know this but I have photographic evidence!

Who can guess what's wrong with this picture?  There are three things.

I'll wait.

*singing jeopardy theme music*

Are you ready?

There are usually two towels on the rack, as by design.  I am just a little OCD about this. Kevin, in his cleverness, chose to attempt to thwart my OCD by centering the single towel on the rack.  Oh silly boy, that didn't work at all.

Because a) it's still just one towel.  2) it's not centered and c) it's crooked.

Yes, I have issues. And how much do we love that Kevin tried to help? (:-D

News & Notes

So, what shall we talk about?  My brain is a little full. 

This new job thing has been good, I'm enjoying most of it.  The only issue I have had is that one coworker.  The one that announced the other day that "You're wearing a sweater!" (then walked out the room.)  The same coworker that couldn't find something on a shelf that was labeled, at eye level, and hasn't moved in five years.  Something wily like STATIONERY.

Like the stationery, she is not seeing that I am busy and doing stuff that can't be interrupted, put off, and half-assed.  I don't know what her trip is but I'm thinking about bringing that spray bottle I've been threatening.  

I wasn't going to watch Smash.  I wasn't going to watch Smash.  I have too much stuff to watch already, I didn't need to watch Smash.
I SO watched Smash, and absolutely loved it.  Loved it. Just perfection.

I never thought that I would say this: there is just too much good television available. Keeping in mind that we don't watch much reality television.

We just watched Castle, the Blue Butterfly episode.  They did a classic 1940's film noir and it was very enjoyable.  A necklace was a main plot point and Nathan Fillion mentioned on the twitter that it was for sale.  I clicked the link and at last look, the bid is $2075.00.

I kind of want this, really bad.  Etsy, maybe?

Kevin's mom is home and doing okay.  The blood pressure thing has abated but now her cholesterol is sky-rocketing.  It seems like it's just going to be this way from now on.  Kevin's dad has been incredible in taking care of her. We are all amazed at how well he is going with everything.  He's learned to cook, clean, balance their accounts, everything.  He loves it, he loves being needed.

Georges St Pierre is on the television....I....um....what were we talking about again?

I am not enjoying the large framed fake glasses that kids-these-days are wearing.  They just look dumb.  The new 80's fashions are giving me whiplash right now. I love the return of colored jeans.

I am considering on breaking my own word on buying a Swiffer mop.  Does anyone have an opinion?  Buy one? Use a standard mop & not add to the landfill? Buy something else?

Okay, time for bed.  Have a great week!

Love, Hate, Meh

My mother in law sent this blanket over with Kevin tonight wanting to know if I would like it.

It's that crazy loose knit chenille, like an overgrown scarf. In the photo it looks more red than the actual rust shade that it is. What's crazy, other than the actual blanket, is that it matches our bedroom exactly.

But I can't decide if it's a keeper.  If one went with firstly impression,  mine was "Eww Kevin. That looks like shredded up Muppet!"  Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of, right?

So what say you, poppets? Love? Hate?  or Meh?

Drop in the Bucket

Yesterday I had the most demotivated day.  It was one of those days that you knew nothing good was going to happen from the moment your eyes open.  I even slept a little later than usual just to attempt to ward it off.

24 oz mocha later and you find me on the couch catching up on the dvr and being grumpy.  I even tweeted my dismay after starting & stopping the tweet a few times.  Yes, I couldn't even muster a tweet.

Finally, I became irritated enough to try something.  I realized that I need to focus on the area around the couch.  Set our goals low, shall we?  I decluttered (thusly creating a mess in my office but shut up) the bookshelves. 

One Craig Ferguson episode later, I dusted everything in the living room. 

I had to go to the bathroom so I managed to drag out the laundry and begin it. As I'm dejectedly throwing towels in the wash, it occurs to me that I've unwittingly participated in Swistle's Drop in the Bucket theory.  I love the Drop in the Bucket theory and I was so happy that it had happened.

Because I decluttered, I realized I needed to dust, because I dusted, I then needed to vacuum. Because I had to go potty, I started the laundry. Before I knew it, I had the majority of my chores done.

All it takes is one little task, one drop in the bucket.

60 Seconds

There is a line in a movie: "You have sixty seconds. Your house is on fire. What do you take?"

I have thought and thought about this and I just don't even know.

My first impulse was pictures, but how do you choose?  Sweep my arms down the hallway, off the entertainment center,  off the shelves?

Okay, how about the laptop?  No, I use Google for storing stuff so it's not a necessity. Yes, rebuilding Bookmarks is a pain but not worth smoke inhalation.

There are two china cupboards full of heirloom china but there's not a Piece I Can't Live Without.

We have furniture that I love but not the kind of love that will cause me to risk singeing my hair to rescue.

(By the way, the question assumes spouses, children & pets are already safe.)

Finally I realized that in my little effed-up mind that I think I would rather lose everything than to take something then regret that I didn't grab something else. I think it would be worse to realize that I grabbed the jewelry box but wished I'd grabbed my great grandmother's journal. I believe that I would probably forget half the stuff I'd lost almost immediately.  While I love my stuff, it's not that important.

This is not, I feel I must say, an invitation, Dear Universe, to burn down my house.

Your turn: what would you take?

Crimes Against Humanity...Or Not?

It's polyester, one piece and reminds me of Shirley Temple: the later years

Also polyester,pleated bottom, and  reminds me of kitchen curtains

Fuschia, terry cloth, and makes me worry for Abby Cadabby's well-being

I suppose that saying it's polyester is a given here. This is a formal, or maybe church dress. You might not see but there are darts at boob level, who ever thought that was a good idea?

What's funny about these outfits is that in the photographs, they look okay.  In reals, they'll take your breath away with their awfulness.

But be truthful, how many of you said "That's not so bad..."?