Stop Marrying Me Off, Husband

Major life discussions tend to occur when people around us pass away.  This week has been no exception.

Kevin has always been very clear about his wishes. He has a distinct picture of what he wants to happen if he passes before me.  I have a specific set of instructions and key players in our friends and family also know them.  He has told them "She's going through the worst part of her life, whatever she says goes and eff off if you're going to argue with her." 

It's a little terrifying and creepy that he is so prepared.  But, he has always been honest that he's never felt like he was going to live to be an old man.  He has a very dangerous job and a dangerous hobby so he lives his life like a dare.

The latest topic has been if I would remarry.  He's, like, guessing who I might choose.  It's equal parts fascinating and horrifying.  Who he has seemed to have settled on is not someone I would immediately think of so I find that intriguing.  I mean, how did he decide?  Convenience?  Similarities?  Time we've known each other?

And it's not like I can say "Oh no, I would run into This Person's arms" because that's not going to end badly at all.   Holy Awkward Conversations, Batman.

So, after being together 26 years this is what we've come to:  Choosing future spouses.