Alternative Therapy

I spun out a little while making dinner.  This didn't used to be unusual, lol, when I didn't know how to cook. But this was out of the norm for me.  There were too many things on the counter for my brain to function.  I actually had to stop what I was doing and put stuff away or move it, in order to continue.

So what's wrong with me, you're wondering. Surely, that's not normal.  (that sentence works as a question and a statement. ha!)

I'm a big fan of Grey's Anatomy, always have been.  No, that's not what's wrong.  As always, there's a scenic route to where I'm going.  Again, I'm a big fan.  I will watch it all day long even though I've seen all of the episodes, multiple times. Quote it regularly.  One of things that I appreciate is the openness about mental health.  

I have been in the dark and twisty place.  

It happens from time to time and usually I roll/bounce quickly enough.  But this one is holding on for a while.  Some of it's chemical/hormonal.  Some of it's environmental and some of it is personal.  I wish that I could say that it's mercury in refrigerator or just, like, one thing. But nope.

Acclimating back to "normal" life seems daunting and I can't want to.

My bio family still are refusing to vaccinate - continually putting me in the position of declining invites.

My in-laws are back-sliding more every day.

Zombies have returned for a little visit.  (implying they're leaving soon)

So I'm doing all the things I usually do when this happens:

•   Try to eat on a schedule. This is a struggle probably only for me.
•   Taking Lucy for walkies (in the mornings now because it's HOT here in the PNW)
•   Trying to stay on any sort of schedule
•   Have a project to work on.  
•   Doing self-care like getting a drink at our friend's coffee stand, reading outside on the deck, and       working in the garden when it's not the temperature of the sun outside.  
•   Listening to music that doesn't bum me out (Classic Vinyl on SIRIUSXM or Jack Johnson on constant shuffle or a playlist on my phone that's labelled LOUD)

Meanwhile, right now, I'm working because I have actual work to do for once. Because BONUS: I'm in the slow period of my work.  I am wearing my noise-cancelling headphones so I can concentrate. Alone, in my own house. Also, I've employed one of my tricks that helps like therapy:  

I'm listening to Christopher Titus "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding".  It's one of my favorite things in the whole world.  I have it on dvd and in my amazonmusic.  This show is like therapy for me on so many levels.  He talks about dysfunctional parents and cars and tells stories that feel like stories my friends would tell.  I've heard it twenty times and I still laugh.

I'm not out of projects but the projects I have aren't going to be easy ones so I'm avoiding them.  They involve Monica's Closet and my office.  It's going to require organization, painting, and patience.  So, drops in the bucket will be employed.

So, I'm still here, chugging along here in the background.  I'll throw up unfinished posts or whatever until my brain resets back to where it belongs. Should be any second now...

Finally, here's another very random thing that I've found helps: therapy tiktok.  Look it up, because there are some amazing people on that app.  I find it interesting how a one-minute video can help.  There are also meditation videos that are kind of helpful.  The only issue is tiktok is addictive and seems to create a tear in the time/space continuum. Two hours of watching dog videos seem like ten minutes.  So, if you didn't already know, you've been warned.