A Random Bowl - Mini What Does Surely Take Apart Now

 Years ago when I was first dating Satan, I spent Christmas morning with them.  I was gifted a wooden bowl with a lid.  Mostly decorative, not of a specific useful size.  It was ... nice.  I was eighteen or nineteen so it was an odd choice.

The weird part - and I've said that so many times in reference to satan - was how emphatic satan was about this particular gift.  He kept insisting that his dad made it. Even encouraging his dad to chime in like "You made that for her, right dad?"  And like, multiple times.  

His dad wasn't handy.  I don't remember him having a wood shop.  This plus his non-committal response to his son's prompting, made me think that this was more of a He Didn't Tell Them I was Attending Christmas.  They just grabbed something that they already had and I mean, no foul.  We've probably all done that.

Because young and dumb, I didn't quite pick up on the red flag.  I just filed the weirdness back into a shortly thereafter-to-be referenced file of Weird Things that built up over three years. 

I have no idea why I packed it when I left. I wasn't particularly fond of it.  I can't remember what I kept in it, even.  Jewelry?  Or maybe I hid something in it.  I don't know, it's use is lost to time.

Meanwhile, it's travelled quite a bit.  Back to my parents, to my temporary apartment, to Kevin's duplex, to the old house and now this house.  In the old house it held fish food, back when we had a giant fish tank. (remember when those were a thing?)  In this house, it held a candle and matches in the Common Folk Bathroom for when the power went out.  

Then because Quarantine, I took it out of the bathroom because I needed the real estate.  I stood there, looking at it, and thought "Why do I even have this anymore?"  I had Swistle in my head, asking me how it felt to have it.  Mostly: Meh. 

I thought about sending it to donation.  But something in my alphabet brain was saying to keep it. I set it aside in my office and contemplated it's existence.

Eventually it occurred to me that I could stain it and see if I liked it better afterward.  It's water damaged because fish food.  It also has a bit of a fish food bouquet inside.  It has what I thought were hand painted flowers on it but now I'm dubious.  Upon further inspection, I'm not sure that it wasn't factory made.  It's not a decal but you couldn't feel the edges or see brush strokes of the "painting".  Also the flowers are uniform, which they wouldn't be if hand painted.  Maybe it was a stencil, I dunno. It wasn't shellacked or anything, as evidenced by the water damage.

I'm still in the throes of startup for work and I considered sanding the bowl while having to sit still for three hours during a zoom meeting.  Then I realized that would most likely look strange if you couldn't see what I was doing.  

This afternoon, after having a little parental health scare because why not, I took the bowl and my supplies outside on the deck.  I sanded the lid to get the water marks off first.  It appears that the grain goes two ways in this wood so my suspicion that this is factory made continues.  Also, there are no edges or places where to pieces of wood meet or anything that makes this look like it was made in a shop on a small farm by someone who we didn't know was a woodworker.  

I did get a little philosophical /whimsical/nostalgic while I sanded. I'm standing on our deck, of our lovely little house, listening to my father in law work next door, after completing my work that I do from home, and comparing to where I was upon receiving this bowl.  The contrast is dark to light and starkly different.

Meanwhile, back to reality, then I sanded on the actual bowl.  The flowers didn't budge.  I knew it wouldn't remove them but they didn't even scuff.  Hmmm.  I thought about waiting to go to the hardware store to get the stuff that removes paint but I'm not that patient.  (Hey, hi, hello, it's me)

Instead I searched "Can you stain over paint?" and found that you can but with mixed results.  Good enough for me.  I continued to sand until, frankly, I got bored.  Wiped down the lid and bowl with that godforsaken tack cloth that I detest.  Then I remembered to put down something between my project and the deck.  (Kevin JUST NOTICED the stain on the deck from months ago.  He just said "Next time just stain the whole deck".)

This is where I point out that I'm impulsive and don't always think things through. (Spoiler alert)  Staining the lid was easy because it just sat there on the railing.  But the bowl.  With the bowl, there is physics involved.  First I brushed on the stain where it sat.  I waited probably not long enough then picked it up, spun it around from the inside while brushing on stain then held it upside down and continued to brush.  Then I set it back down - upside down - on the railing, telling myself that I would be okay with noticeable fingerprints.  (I wasn't)  I know, there are things to help with this process. Or I could have made something out of whatever is handy. But that's too easy.  

Probably way too soon, I flipped it back over and used a rag to stain the inside.  Because it's inside, I didn't care about the appearance as much but I did hope that Eau du Water Creature would go away.

Then I applied the stain all over two-ish more times and let it set for a while before wiping off the excess.  It gave it kind of a weathered, aged look. Like a patina, maybe. I kind of dig it.  Then I made myself come inside and work while it dried.  I've learned that if I stay with the project, I will fuss with it and end up frustrated.

When I started it was 75 degrees outside and I worked in the sun.  I just went back out to find it's still not dry. Because it's in the shade and now 69 degrees.  I slid something underneath it and transferred it onto one of the kitchen counters to dry for real.

I still don't know what I'm going to do with it.  But at least I tried something fun.  Like most of my projects: it gave me a story to tell.  I can always donate it later but right now it's earned a reprieve.