Frock This Tree

 As a young child we didn't have many Christmas tree ornaments.   To add to this: my parents disagreed on how to decorate a tree Because Of Course They Did.  AND my dad wanted a Charlie Brown type tree - sparse and branches way apart. 

So instead of garland we had a cloth, faded, used-to-be-red, rope. Tinsel was not allowed because reasons.  I don't have any memories of "special" ornaments; mostly glass globes that had clearly seen better days. I'm sure there were others but I just remember the scratched glass globes.

The only photo I have of the tree, in probably about 1974

Oddly, my dad would also get a tree for us kids that was in our collective room. But this was only when I was very young, under the age of six or so.  I have zero recollection how it was decorated but it was probably with whatever handmade ornaments we brought home from school.  As in "Those are nice but put them on your tree."

The next part you call me a liar and that's okay.. 

My dad quit his job at the State Transportation Department to start-up a garbage company with his alcoholic best friend, who fronted the money and my dad did the grunt work. (you can imagine the drama)  So my dad was a garbage truck driver for a little while; he was many jobs for a little while.

This job, as you imagine, included going to the dump.  One Christmas my dad brought home discarded ornaments from the dump. "They were just laying there." I remember him saying. Ornaments..FROM THE DUMP.

So, of course there were broken ones.  My mom fished out the good ones and told us to be careful.  Well, we were young, probably ten and five years old so we weren't as careful as we could be or that we were even able.  And we broke a few and she was annoyed and that's just the holiday enjoyment one hopes for.

In that stash was also garland, the tinselly kind.  Of course it was all different lengths and didn't match but we didn't care because TINSEL.  We put it onto the tree and all the Who's in Whoville rejoiced.

Yes, my dad was annoyed.  The red rope returned the next year, in addition to the piecemeal tinsel garland.  Red, silver, green, and blue if you're curious about the colors. All varying lengths so they would not wrap around the tree.

So, with that story a person can understand that I Do Not Play when it comes to our Christmas tree.  I always want one bigger than we have room for.  Kevin always patiently rolls his eyes and makes it happen.  

I have too many ornaments and continue to buy more each year.  They range from simple to flashy, expensive to dollar-store.  Old and new.  I have bells from when I was married to satan.  I bought two sets for our very first Christmas tree, which now I can't even remember, and brought them with me when I left.  It's an odd thing to keep but it's not about him or that time, I just like them.

At least they fit in one box...if you consider a tote a box

Super fancy ornaments and bells from the before times

We have ornaments from Kevin's childhood that were his grandmas.  I love them like they were from My grandma

There are also plastic candy canes & another elf
but those were already on the tree

We also have a spark plug on our tree.  You just thought Wut? or "Oh, of course, they have racecar" but no.  Kevin's best friend had this idea and we started doing it when another best friend passed away just before Christmas a few years ago.  It always surprises me when I take it out of the box then it makes me happy sad. (Karl, we speak your name)

Then finally one funny story to lighten up this place.  (unintentional pun!)  The other day I set Rosie the Robot to cleaning the kitchen/mud room and then went into my office to work.  Probably an hour later, I went into the bedroom and thought I saw a flash.

Well, I had a pout because something like that could be a symptom of the vision thing.  A few minutes later, I walked out of the bedroom and into the living room.  To find that Rosie had gotten into an argument with the tree.  The tree was now in display mode, flashing all the colors and all the ways.

I had to crawl under and nearly behind the tree to retrieve Rosie who had retreated to a far corner to enjoy her handiwork, and to reset the tree from disco-mode.  Sometimes the universe is funny and reminds you to get over yourself.

And that, my friends, is the origin story of our Christmas tree.