It's Been Twenty Days of Foolishness.

 It has been such a weird month.  Then there was yesterday; it was a bit much.

I just texted Kevin "Phone me when you get a minute. NOT an emergency." and he phones then asks if something is wrong.  Lolsigh.

A listicle, just for that conversation:

• Kevin's dad dumped something into the ditch across our road, our guess is it's fast food). Lucy has had an upset stomach off and on for weeks.  I think we figured out why. 
• Our insurance sent us a check to pay for half the eye surgery.  We didn't expect it at all, especially since I phoned last week to double-double-check that I didn't forget to do something.
• We received an Amazon package that wasn't ours. I checked the address and the name and it isn't any of our neighbors; in fact the address isn't even an address here.  Google Maps just shows trees across the street on street view.  (Amazon had to travel about 1/8th of a mile, past four other houses to deliver it to us?)
• I phoned Amazon WHICH IS NO EASY FEAT, MYDOG. They apologized for the inconvenience and said I could keep or give away whatever it was.  WUT.  I am now the proud owner of pink DJ headphones. They said not to worry about the other person's order, they would figure it out.  I'm feeling a little guilty but they're pretty nice headphones.

PAUSE

My f-i-l just phoned because their television won't work.  This is the second of these phone calls in three days.  I can't tell if it's operator error or if the television is indeed having issues.  I just know that unplugging it fixes it; which tells me they've hit all the buttons and the television just sits there and says "I got nothing, man."    Meanwhile, it's the remotes fault, according to them.  

We are not talking about the inch of dust on everything and the lilies on the table that I am super extra allergic to.  We are talking about that she sent me home with bras and tights. She ordered them and they don't fit her and can't be returned.  I reluctantly brought the bag home and looked. The yoga pants were in the original packaging.  One bra had clearly been worn and washed, a lot.  The others...probably also.  

AND THEN THERE WERE PANTIES.  No judgement but they are twice the size of what I wear.  And, and, and, it must be said: Who wants to wear their m-i-l's panties?  Not me.  I am not telling Kevin about this, he doesn't need that in his head.

Now, while writing this, my cousin messaged me to have my mom call her mom.  No other details and no answer to my question.  This is right on par with how this month is going. (if I have a guess, my uncle may have passed.  He's 97 years old and has been in ill health. They live states away and have recently moved to assisted living)  

That was just yesterday.

Earlier this week...it's WEDNESDAY...

Zenni made the issue with my glasses right.  There was an issue with the lenses AND it turns out that my prescription will not be an easy one for them to fulfill.  BECAUSE OF COURSE NOT.  A while ago, my original eye doctor said that at one point my prescription would be too wide of a swing for distance, midrange, and reading encompassed in one lens.  It appears that we're there.  Because Zenni is  mass-produced glasses, they can't tailor like a local place could do. HOWEVER, the glasses I ordered locally has a very similar issue so....sigh. For the eleventieth time: this surgery has not been easy-peasy.

However, I won't address this issue until August, when the six-month anniversary of the surgeries has passed.  Then I'll have to retest for a prescription update and/or order glasses with only distance and mid-range and return to having reading glasses.

My thumb did indeed infect, which is shocking to no one.  DOG WATER.  (which is going to be my band name)  Typing is uncomfortable right now but I guess it's probably causing me to hold my hand correctly.

But look! Two or three days later and the art was still on the beach!  So I CAREFULLY added to it:

Okay, whew, Update: My cousin said that my aunt (her mom) was in a MOOD so she was hoping my mom - who is also prone to MOODS - could defuse the situation.  Then my mom phoned back to tell me that the aunt was fine.  So...yeah, that tracks.    I don't know my cousin well but we're Very Similar with Very Similar mothers.  This lead to a messenger thread about breaking generational norms.  

AND THEN my non-family members stopped by to show a friend the racecar.  Kevin wasn't quite home yet so I entertained them on our deck until he got here then backed slowly into our house.  This also got me off the phone with my mother so that was a win and a loss.

I am on Day Two of the Filing Project. I bought a file frame but it was too large for this old desk. Upon ordering, I had considered width of the frame and didn't think about length. Kevin resized it last night and it's still too long.  Meanwhile, because the alphabet brain doesn't plan, there are stacks of files behind me on the floor. 

Now he's fixed it but I couldn't stand the clutter so the files are back in the drawer.  I'll figure it out tomorrow.

NOW IT'S TOMORROW

The filing is 75% finished.  Would you believe that the file hanger is too narrow now?  Yes, you probably would.  The files sit diagonally and I give up.  I don't get into them enough to be concerned about it right now.

The company that rhymes with horizon service has been out all afternoon.  Have they notified the customers via social media? That would be no.  Can you chat with them? Also, no.  Can you passive-aggressively tweet them and get an autobot response? YES.

We found out the issue via a local, independent news page and the comments were crowd-sourcing information and helpful ideas.  (Facebook Messenger makes calls and video calls, btw if you're an old, like me)

I keep forgetting to mention that the handle unlock has broken on the vacuum. This also affects it's ability to vacuum.  Rosie/Geoff Peterson has been doing double-duty for about a week.  Do I have a vehicle to take it to the shop? Not an easy one.  My options are cram it in the little truck and not take Lucy with me or lift it almost above my head to put it in the backseat of the big truck.  Otherwise, I'll have to have Kevin strap it down in the truck bed of the little truck and go on a day when it's not raining; which is hilarious on many levels.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Lucy got stuck in a tree during walkies yesterday and I had to climb on the roots and lift her down.  She was chasing a squirrel, went around the tree, and was up in it before I hardly could register what was happening.

I'm telling you, it just keeps getting weirder.