Christmas Bully

 So, I've been fighting off depression, grief and anger with both hands and feet.  Something happened last week that I was just THAT'S IT.  I cannot take one more thing.

On Friday, Kevin called to check in and heard the tone.  Now there's more frequent phone calls and "Would you like me to bring home dinner"  I made dinner on Friday night but we went out on Saturday.  Upon return, Kevin asked when I was thinking about putting up the Christmas  tree.

Hmmm.  He never asks that and certainly never EVER days before Thanksgiving. He is not a Christmas Tree Aficionado. Then I realized "Oh, he noticed the dark and twisty..."  I mentioned that I just wasn't feeling it this year...yet.  He wondered aloud "I think maybe that's why people put their stuff up..."  I made a face to his back but replied "Yeah..."

Cue Sunday morning and he was working on projects.  We're expecting our first cold snap and he loves that. He looks forward to buttoning up the house and the outbuildings and the vehicles.  He said "I'll tell you what, when you put up the Christmas Tree, I will put up the lights."

This is his version of Double Dog Dare You and it almost always works.  dogdammit.

Instead, I held strong, I wrote to my BFF while watching the football game.  Even adding commentary like "(OH NO, Kevin has the ladder out...wait...he's cleaning gutters...whew)"

I was going to finish watching the Seahawks but then it was half-time.  In a hurried flounce, I went into Monica's Closet and dug out the tree.  Luckily, since I've turned the closet into a little bonus space, it was quite easy compared to other years retrieving the boxes.

I dragged it down the hallway and into the living room.  I always forget how tall it is. (8 feet. Yes, I have issues)  I removed it all from the box and put the box away so there was no going back.  It has three sections so I put on the stand, the first section and fluffed that section.  I put the second section on and it wouldn't attach smoothly.  There should be a satisfying CLICK sound.  Not to be thwarted, I put the final section on, thinking that it would make the second section click into place.  It did not, as you probably imagined.

I took it apart and tried again.  Not working still.  I sat the section on the couch and sat myself down on my chair to watch football.  During a commercial, I tried once more to no avail.  I sat back, took a photo of a third-lit tree and texted it to Kevin.

Like seconds later, he comes in "Oh NO, what did you do" because that's part of the game too.  Grumbling good-naturedly, he sat down in front of the tree.  He began at the beginning and did the same thing I did.  He even put the third section on before checking.  Sure enough, it blinked to life.  

He stood then said "You waited too late to start, I'm not doing the lights now..." Which is 100% b.s. because it was only 2 pm.  AND it wasn't raining for the first time in days.  "I promise I'll do them on Wednesday when I'm off."   FINE, whatevs.

Now he hates Christmas lights.  A person rarely sees him lose his cool (but it's epic when he does)  Christmas lights SEND HIM.  We tried LED lights for two years but they kept going bad.  (there's just too much water here)  We reverted back to the old school lights, with moderate  success.  I began adding one box of lights to each grocery order, just to ensure we had enough.

But I accidentally bought two...maybe three?....strands of clear bulbs instead of the matte color.  OMG, the world ended.  (he's not mad, he's frustrated, to be clear...no pun intended)  Cue me buying MORE lights, especially when they're on clearance.  

Well, now we have more lights than buildings to put them on and there are still two boxes in the cupboard..  I mentioned that the other day, in a passive aggressive way to encourage the siblings to put up lights. (father-in-law always did them)  Kevin laughed and said "I think there's three new boxes in the tote of lights still".

I will probably not add those onto the grocery order this year...but we'll see.

Anyway, I hung up maybe ten ornaments and that was it.  I lost my motivation.  Kevin came inside about 30 minutes later and didn't comment.  We snuggled in to watch television and eat dinner cozy in our chairs instead.

Now today, I made a hard phone call then ran errands.  Upon my return, I had a little actual work to do so I finished up that.  Finally, left to my own devices, I looked at the ornaments again.  Started. Stopped. Stood there and stared.  

Eventually, I asked the robot to play the Holly Channel on SiriusXM.  

If the song was one I liked, I would start decorating the tree again.  If it wasn't, then I wasn't.

The vintage/original version of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

Whelp, guess I'm decorating again.    

I sent a snap to my two bffs and hung a few more ornaments. Now I'm here, at my desk.  

It's going to be Christmas before I get all of these ornaments hung.  Oh wait, Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses started to play.  That will be good for at least ten more ornaments hung.