13 August 2010

Shower Scenes

I forgot to come back & tell you my second favorite Brad story!

Brad & I have been friends since I was seventeen years old. We connected immediately. It's always been on a friend level. Well, there was that one time but it passed...anyway...

When I was married to Michael we lived in a townhouse apartment. You know, I really liked that apartment. If I could have just moved Michael out & stayed, I totally would have done it.

We were going out, I think. It's a little blurry why Brad was at the apartment. My bff at the time was upstairs taking a shower. Brad and the bff had flirted and perhaps had hooked up...I remember having a party and coming down the next morning & they were spooning on the floor by the dining table. Oh, to be twenty again. That sh*t just doesn't happen these days.

Brad heard the shower and asked who was up there. When I told him, he grinned and got an evil look in his eye. I started to laugh because you just *knew* something good was about to happen.

He went into the kitchen and began to root through the cupboards & drawers. Choosing one thing, discarding it, and choosing another. Finally he came up with a red spaghetti server, you know one of those weird slotted, curved, spoon things.

He began to sneak up the stairs and I couldn't stop laughing. I remember he paused and went all Pink Panther on me, gesturing and shushing me. He crept up the remainder of the stairs but got the giggles and had to stop. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched as he tiptoed across the hall, paused, then whipped open the door silently.

He disappeared and for a second there was silence. Suddenly, all you heard was the shower curtain rings sliding across the rod and Brad screeching "Ree! Ree! Ree!" like the soundtrack of Psycho.

Bff screamed like a horror film. I was momentarily concerned that someone would call the cops & wouldn't that be awkward to explain.

Brad came tearing down the stairs, stopping at the bottom and doubling over, laughing his fool head off. All you could hear from upstairs were gasps and then a stuttering "Y-y-y-you guys are M-m-m-mean!"

I'm sure she wet herself in the shower & I'm certain that Brad & I were pretty damn close.

Believe it or not I have a second shower story that I just remembered while telling this one.

I don't think I was living with Kevin yet but was over there. He/we lived in a duplex with his bff living in the other half of the duplex. We loved living next to him.

Kev's bff came in while Kevin was in the shower, smiled, put his finger to his lips, and snuck into the laundry room, which was next to the bathroom. He fussed with something for a minute then walked out and returned home.

All of a sudden, I hear Kevin yell "Son of a B*tch! Sanders!!!?!!!?!!!"

Bff had shut off the hot water tank at the spigot. He was safely at home before Kevin ran out of hot water.

It's good to have creative & devious friends.

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