27 October 2012

Hokey Pokey

Oh Hai!

I haven't written much about the whole recovery thing because even *I* am tired of hearing about it.  But when I disappear for a week-ish, on a regular basis, it seems worth acknowledging.

One frustration I am having is the utter tiredness of recovery. It's like an effed up version of the hokey pokey.  One day I feel great then the next: total crap. One step forward, one step back.  Put your left foot in, put your left foot out.  This is where my patience is tried. and tried. and tried.  (or if you're dyslexic, like me, you read "tired. and tired. and tired. Both apply.)

Don't get me wrong, I feel good most times. I know when I'm going to be tired and sore.  It's the increments that I have to live by right now.  One active day equals one not-so-active day.  This doesn't make working, therapy, and general life-living easy.

By Friday, I hate everyone unilaterally. Kevin usually finds me napping on the couch Friday when he comes home. (last night: fully dressed, under the blanket, with a bed pillow, perhaps with my shoes on.)

During the first six weeks of being on bedrest, moving around wasn't a choice. Now moving around is a choice. Then when the body reminds you not to, it sucks.
Also the way my brain is wired it tells me that I can move now.  Move. Now. Move. Move It.  (how many of you just heard Madagascar in your head?)

The suggestions for coping with this is...say it with me: Move Less. I'm six months out from the injury, with six months left of "recovery" and I just want to punch people.  Also: I should own stock in Extra Strength Tylenol by now.

Here's how my weekday goes:

5:00 am - Send Kevin to work

5:15 - sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories or
         go back to bed if I had a bad day/night

8:00 - get ready for work.  (when I will remember that I can't hurry anymore, who knows? It seems no time soon)

9:00-3:00-ish: work

3:00-4:00-ish: therapy two days, weekly

4:15 - sit in the recliner with the leg elevated & watch my stories (sense a theme?)

6:00 - make & have dinner with Kevin

6:30 -  sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and iced & watch my stories

9:00 - go to bed

There was a time that I would have LOVED this.  There are times where I still enjoy "sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories" but it's getting old.  I would enjoy "sit in the recliner with the leg elevated and watch my stories" if it were a choice instead of a requirement.

Maybe that's it: I'm bucking against authority.  It's my inner rebel yelling "You can't hold me down!"  Except, I'm wrong.  I can be held down, quite easily actually.

You put your one foot in, you put your own foot out.

If you need me: I'll be siting in the recliner with the leg elevated and watching my stories

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