He's Just Not that Into You

or is he?

In this age of romantic comedies and metrosexual men, I wonder if we have some high expectations of men these days? Or maybe I'm just seeing the differences between generations right now with watching my parents marriage and my nieces experience the dating world. For instance, the niece breaking up with the "I love you" in five days or less boy.

What really brought this topic up was the most unfortunate response to the first spoken "I love you." Ironically, it was along the lines of Patrick Swayze's "Ditto" response in the movie Ghost.

Once you glue yourself back together after that, what do you do?

When I posed this question to Kevin & my friends, the responses were varied:
"He's just not into her."
"That's all he has to give"
"Perhaps he's not ready, give it time."
"Be careful what you ask for"
"She needs to decide what she wants & how long she's willing to wait"

Having been raised in a non-communicative & non-affectionate family, I guess I might be more patient than most. Kevin was slow with the "L" and "M" word. He was faithful, I knew I didn't have to worry about that, so I was okay with the waiting. We were both so broken when we met, that it took awhile for us to mend and open to new possibilities.

Sure, I had moments when I considered where the relationship was going & how long I was willing to stay. In the long run, I was okay with the direction so I was willing to wait. So, glad that I did, now nineteen years later!

Kevin's not a huge affectionate guy but we say "Love you" at the end of each telephone conversation, before bed & before he leaves for work. I never heard those words as a child, or even as a teen (from boys, not the family) so even that was quite an adjustment for me.

Then I think of the old Westerns, those tough old cowboys. Men of a few generations ago were rarely sentimental, affectionate or romantic. The romance gene seems to be a result of evolution. Not that it is a bad thing but where does it leave the Old School guys? Or the ones from broken/damaged families such as mine?

While the "Ditto" response is never a good thing to hear, is it a deal-breaker?