29 July 2014

Just Be Happy

It's been two weeks since I stopped working.  It still feels weird.  I can't figure it out.

I don't know if it's because my job didn't seem finished and there's a small chance I'll be called back or what is going on.  I feel relieved that the mess that is my former work is no longer in my life but I do miss my friends.

I don't feel super anxious about finding another job, which seems weird to me as well.  I don't know if it's age or what but I'm all "Meh, whatever" about a new job.  I've been open to  applying just to see what happens to different kinds of jobs.  I have never gotten my hopes up for a job because I hate that kind of disappointment (like everyone else enjoys it, really)

Like I did when I was home before, I'm keeping myself on sort of a schedule.  Kevin still leaves for work at OhGawd-thirty so that doesn't change.  I make sure I'm showered, dressed, and chores done by 9:00 so that I don't develop bad habits that need undoing when I do return to work.

But that also leaves a huge gap of empty space in my day.  I've filled it with Greys Anatomy and books and small projects.  But the shiny novelty of this is going to wear off pretty quickly. (also, Dance Moms marathon..really? Talk about disappointment. lol) And I'm eventually going to run out of projects.

The puppy does keep me a little distracted as she's still a puppy and loves, loves, loves chasing rabbits, birds, shrews, etc.  So, I have to check on her regularly so she's not in Texas before we realize it.  I figured out that if I put her bed out on the deck and leave the screen door open, she sticks around a little more.
It's a dogs life, really
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm remarkably relaxed about this and that is making me anxious.  How messed up is that?  Kevin's not stressed at all, he's always happy when I'm home.  The puppy is happy I'm home.  I'm happy that I'm home but I know I need to return to work to achieve our goals.

And I totally acknowledge that I've little to complain about when others face much bigger challenges. I'm just surprised at how not worried about things I am.  I'm just going to work on being happy about what my life is right now.  Like the puppy is.

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