Easier Yet Harder

Surgery One of Two is done and all is well.  Mostly.

The wait between drop-off and the actual surgery was at least 45 minutes, and that I didn't enjoy.  I told Kevin that I just wanted to walk in and boom: surgery.  I don't want to discuss it, I don't want to know anything, just get in, knock me out, and get out.  Kevin just kind of laughed and said "You know you can't control this, right?"  Shut up, Kevin. 

Instead they did the check in, well-check, and then I laid there for forever while the sedative took effect.

They used Propofol so I was aware but not, in a Michael Jackson kind of way.  I remember talking to the anesthesiologist and the nurse giving me oxygen, then I remember hearing the surgeon finishing up and kind of seeing a light like at the end of a tunnel, then being wheeled in to see a worried Kevin.  

But like when I had my bionics taken out of my leg, I felt like I was fine.  I'm sure that I wasn't.  

We got burgers (garden burger for me)  afterward because I hadn't eaten since 2 a.m.  (I woke up and had a snack at 1:45 am because I knew it wasn't going to be good for anybody to be anxious AND hungry.)  Anesthesia makes me chatty, so that was really fun for Kevin, I'm sure.

Once I got home, I slept on the couch for a few hours with my Snoopy pity blanket and an eye patch. Then sometime during the nap, Lucy climbed up with me and we watched television/napped. Then I made tacos, because nothing stops Taco Tuesday.

It was both easier and harder than I anticipated.  The surgery - other than the waiting -was easier than I anticipated.  The recovery has been harder than I planned.  I was a little low yesterday because of who I am as a person.  I just have no patience with the time that it takes to heal.  Everyone said "Oh, it's easy.  You'll see so much better and feel better quick."  Well, shut up everyone. 

Firstly, as discussed before: thirteen years sober.  I've only had anesthesia twice in adulthood: once in 2012 and once in 2015.  So even with "just" the Propofol, I was a little knocked down for a bit.  Secondly, I forgotten two things about me and anesthesia: it turns my urine a light pale green for a few days and messes with my hair.  My hair is like teenager mid-puberty hair right now.  

I can see better, yet worse. Lol.  I won't know exactly how much better until weeks after the second surgery. Meanwhile, I found an old pair of glasses that aren't perfect but they're pretty close. And they were one of my favorites that I've ever had. Purple, of course, naughty librarian style.  I still use my reading glasses so that's good.  I have three pairs now so I'm all set.

Hooray for hoarding!  
I usually donate them but #thankscovid

I had found a pair of clip-on shades for the glasses I was using. Then I accidentally found a pair of sunglasses that I missed when searching before, that mostly work.  Those made it possible for Lucy and I to go to the bay yesterday, because my eyes are still light sensitive.  (example: the refrigerator just needs to calm the eff down)

The unexpected part of the surgery is the brightness and seeing COLOR.  I told Swistle that it is like the scene in Wizard of OZ where it goes from black and white to technicolor.  I hadn't realized how dimmed my vision had become.  It happens so gradually that a person doesn't notice. (like the frog in the boiling water analogy)

Deets:

• The eye patch - both styles - are like sleeping with a cast on.  You just can't get comfortable.  So I slept in, like A LOT, today because Kevin had to work.  
• The eye is still swollen.  Like the actual eye, not the "you look tired" swollen.  It looks like I'm high. They say that will subside soon.
• Ucky part:  There was blood where they had to do a thing (I'll spare you)  It was in the corner of my eye and couldn't really be seen.  Then yesterday, the clot burst and kind of flooded the lower part of my eye.  So it looked like I had been in the pool too long.  My vision was a little blurry looking down but it's better today.
• Vision: I would say it's about 75% restored.  Glasses will do the remaining 25% and I'm happy with that.  The surgery on the other eye will help but the change won't be as dramatic.
• I can get in the habit of Not having my glasses on here at home because I can see pretty well without.  My eyes will just wander around my head and Kevin is already used to that.
• Oh, that gives me an awesome Kevin story to tell: when we met, I was using my glasses for driving only at the time.  It had been not many dates when we went to a nice restaurant for dinner.  I was talking and nearly knocked my drink over.  Then later as there was a pause in the conversation, he just politely, kindly, off-handedly asked "Can you look at me with both eyes when you talk to me?"  which made me LAUGH and know he was probably a keeper.
• Can you believe that I haven't tried reading a book or a magazine yet? That tells you the state of my mood.  I can read the computer and phone without glasses. HOWEVER, my reading glasses still help a lot.  It could be because of the astigmatism and amblyopia correction though.  
• Also, I had to shove my monitors way, way back and turn down the contrast and tint.  
• Colors are still bright but not as shocking as before.  Because of the aforementioned blood, white can have a purple/pink hue.  Think of it as before and after the outside windows have been washed or the first time you open all the curtains/blinds in the Spring.
• It appears (vision pun!) that my depth perception is better.  I'm not knocking over things, tripping or bumping over/into things.  I had to relearn how to park the truck.  I didn't expect that, so that's happy.

Unintended consequence:  I can see all the paint that needs a second coat or touch up.  It has made me laugh.  First I noticed the wall outside of the common folk bathroom, then the orange closet, then our bedroom.  I'll be breaking out paint brushes when this is all said and done.

I have one more post-op appointment on Tuesday morning.  Then on Friday it's back to the pre-op procedures with the eye wash, compresses, no makeup, etc.  I told Kevin that I'm not bothering with makeup for the four days in between. (also, I had to buy new makeup so there is no chance of infection)   Then sometime on Tuesday will be the second surgery. I hate that they don't let you know until Thursday afternoon what time the surgery is on Tuesday.  I'm going to assume it will be similar to the first one, mid morning.

Finally, the people were super nice so that makes going back easier. The surgeon said a little prayer, after asking permission, which was kind of sweet even though I'm not a believer.  I had to give written and verbal permission for an intern to observe the surgery, so that felt very Grey's Anatomy.

The Ophthalmologist tech during the follow-up appointment cheerily asked me "Are you excited for your second surgery?" I was all  "NO"  and she looked surprised.  I followed up with "It's still a SURGERY so no, I'm not.  I AM looking forward to having it done."  I know I was tired, anxious, recovering, so my answer was probably curt but c'mon.  Hey, are you looking forward to someone cutting into your eye? I bet you are!

One other thing that made me laugh:  As I'm laying there waiting, I'm listening to other people being checked in.  I made it a game to listen to the birthdates of everyone, then do the math of how much younger I am compared to others.  I am easily 15 years younger than most of the people there.  Of all the things to be an overachiever, this is one I'd rather not.

Finally, with all of that, if you need vision correction surgery then I would say to Absolutely have it done. Despite all the whining above, it will be worth it in the long run.  If you're doing it only for cosmetic purposes, then I would be meh, might want to think about that.